hospital visits taking over

Jennymf

I fell asleep this evening at 6pm. visiting my husband in hospital every day , shatters me, its not that I mind going of course I dont, I even seem to be sleeping ok , but wake up tired. Not that I do much at the hospital except talk to doctors and nurses. I am not doing much writing thats for sure, concentration not there, but I do try to come on site and read all the post, lots of the funny ones cheer me up, and it helps to join in. I know I have a lovely familly that I talk to a lot, but like now 9.40 pm, its a quiet time , only me and the dog, time to catch up with you lot.

dorothyd

Jenny, lots of thoughts and all the support you need to get you through.

Carol

Ditto.
It is exhausting so take care of yourself too.
(((Jennymf)))

Wilts

Hospital visiting is exhausting. Thinking of you. Take care.

Stan2

Thinking of you and your husband, Jennymf.

B Darter

When my late mother was in hospital I went North to look after my Dad thinking it would be for a week or two. It was for two months. I visited every day taking my Dad who fell asleep almost every time. If my brother couldn't make the evening visiting because of his work, I would return again because Mum didn't like being the only one in the ward without a visitor. It was ten miles away, which wasn't straightforward, the journey took me through little villages to get there. Almost every time she said "You do look tired." On reflection I am glad I did it but it was a trying time.

dora

Nothing wrong with falling asleep so early Jenny, if your body is telling you it needs sleep.



(((( jennymmmmph ))))

Jenny

((((Jennymf))))

Jennymf

Many thanks for all your kind wishes I will probably find out on Tuesday what the next steps will be.
B.Darter your hospital visits sound a lot worse than mine, but I am sure your mother appreciated them though.

Liz

My mum was admitted into hospital down in Dorset, and it was clear she'd never get out. I spent 4 months down there during the week, living in her house, and coming home at weekends. The days weren't too bad, and you'd think I'd enjoy phone calls in the evening, but all I wanted was to be alone - it was quite tricky as mum had only traced her daughter who had been adopted a couple of months before and she used to phone me every evening to find out how mum was. i did so want to tell her, but on the other hand, sometimes I didn't want to talk, although I did. Just so tired. The stress and the love and the worry is all so much, so I know how you feel Jenny. Hope you can keep strong.

Lolli

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jennymf)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jay Mandal

Hope things get better.

When I was visiting my father in hospital - this was quite a while ago - I started to lose weight. Going to work then straight to the hospital meant I didn't have much time for eating.

Jennymf

If only Jay. I find I am eating a load of rubbish especially chocolate, I know I shouldn`t but ....

Neph

When dad was first in hospital before they diagnosed a brain tumour he was on the stroke unit at his local hospital which is 15 miles away, I was dropping the kids at school, taking hubby to work and then heading over to sit with him as he was not a patient patient, would try to get up, pull the drip out etc so I would sit with him in the morning, head home at lunchtime pick the kids up, pick hubby up and then go back in the evening, it was a nightmare, lived on coffee and peanut M&Ms. That was for six weeks, then they transferred him to a hospital the other side of the city, same thing, but would catch two buses. For about eight weeks that was all I did, I lost loads of weight and was so worn out so I understand how you are feeling. Hope your hubby is on the mend.

Jennymf

Thanks Neph. I have lots of problems with Tony at the momemt, he has not been out of the house since September 2009, sufering with bad depression , they tried to sort it out with lots of pills that didn`t make any difference, then he took to his bed, and his eating got poor, nothing I seemed to say or do,made any difference, then at Christmas he got a lot worse I noticed how ill he seemed to be, loss of weight.He was being seen by the mental health doctors and nurses, finally my own doctor saw him and ordered blood test, they discovered his sodium levals and blood count were dangerously low. He refused to be taken into hospital, no matter how much pleading from me, family and doctors, saying he was ok Then two weeks ago they decided to section him under the mental health act as he was going to die with lack of treatment. Thats quite traumatic as police could be involved, Luckily when the ambulance men turned up he agreed to go with them. We have managed to get him eating and he has just had three units of blood, but is still refusing to have test done, they want to do a brain scan , and they think he is bleeding internally but cant pin it down, with out investigating further. I cant make him , neither can the doctors do any thing as its his civil right to refuse, the only way we can over come it is if the doctors think he is mentally incapeable , but I dont hink thats the case any more I think the illness is impairing his judgement now, all we can do is keep asking him, We have a big meeting this afternoon with doctors , nurses me and my husband, not sure if the social worker will be there( he has to have one by law, because of being sectioned) , so I am hoping we might get a bit further forward with things.
Sorry to have gone on a bit here.

dorothyd

Jenny, never be sorry for sharing such a huge burden with us. We're all friends and all here to help and support one another. You need a tremendous amount of support right now, so do please spill everything you need to, just to ease your mind. It will, it helps and we are all here to support you.

Liz

Oh Jenny, how awful for you. The trouble is that not eating and not getting all those vitamins and minerals will, as you say, alter his mental state and view and the way he feels. He must be incredibly low on vitamin D as well.

I do hope the blood and food will help a little and you eventually find a way to help him. (((((((((((((((((J))))))))))))))))))

shellw

((((JENNYMF))))

Neph

Jenny that must be so hard for you, as dorothy says we are all here to support and help and just listen to you rant. Sometimes it is easier to talk online than it is to someone.

megrose

I really feel for you, Jenny. Please take good care of yourself - I know how tiring and stressful illness in the family can be, particularly a mental illness. Thinking about you and your husband.
xx

Carol

This is obviously difficult for you Jennymf, we're here if you need to vent.

Jennymf

Hi all, thanks for all your lovely comments. The good news is that my husband will be home on Saturday, the meeting with the doctors and nurses went well. They have de-sectioned him(if thats the correct term), his blood transfusions helped a lot, and his sodium levels are rising , very slowley , but they dont want it to go high fast, he is really eating well now, and saying he is hungry. He has agreed to have the test`s done , as they still think there are problems, but we will face them when and if it happens.It will take a while , but we are taking each day as it comes, making small
steps instead of giant leaps, hopefully with the warmer weather coming , he will want to sit out in the garden.
Once again thanks for all your kind wishes

dorothyd

good news, Jenny, keep us informed, and stay strong.

Daisy

I'm so sorry your husband has been so unwell. It sounds like it's been a huge strain. So good to hear that he is making good progress now though - as you say, small steps, that's the best way.
Thinking of you.xx

KJ

Glad your husband is coming through his ordeal, Jenny.

Had my own hospital visit today - several hours waiting to find out if my son's skull had been fractured after an unprovoked attack at school (kicked and repeatedly punched). He doesn't need this just before he sits his exams (or anytime, actually). Two years ago someone else at the school tried to push him through an upstairs window...

Liz

Oh no! Is he ok KJ? Wish him well from us.

Lolli

flipping 'eck KJ. I do hope oyu son is OK

Jenny I am sooooooooooo sorry to hear how ill your hubby has been with depression. Well done to you for managing to cope so long. It's so debilitating being the carer of a seriously depressed person. more huggs (((((((((((((((((Jennymf))))))))))))))))

I am glad that things seem to be looking up a bit with your hubby. Let's hope it continues.

I had to have my mum sectioned in Oct 2009 as she was so confused mentally and was trying to hit my daughter.We had to have the police in case she was still trying to hit out, but like your hubby she got into the ambulance quiet as a lamb. It was a urine infection that caused that. However, the dementia has got worse since then and yesterday she was having an altercation with a fellow resident in the home she's in and lifted her stick to hit them and fell, breaking her hip! So I'm now on the hospital visiting treadmill. Ain't life grand?

Jay Mandal

Jenny (mf) - glad you're husband is feeling better and is well enough to come home.

KJ - hope your son's all right. Are you going to have words with the police or the school or the parents of the person(s) who attacked him?

Kangaroo

Hi Jennymf, don't forget to look after yourself as well. Best wishes to your husband.
KJ, I hope your son is okay.

KJ

[quote=Jay Mandal]KJ - hope your son's all right. Are you going to have words with the police or the school or the parents of the person(s) who attacked him?[/quote]

Thanks for concerns and good wishes for my son, everyone. Obviously I am seriously concerned about sending him to school, though he is there today for a concert rehearsal (Music GCSE work). Am contemplating calling police in to investigate the incident, though I know the lad who kicked my son in the head and pummelled him has been suspended (not sure how long for - waiting to hear back from the school). Son's swelling has subsided a little today. Will have to check him again when he arrives home mid-afternoon. He had three x-rays to check for a suspected fracture by his eye socket. It is heartbreaking to think this can happen to my son who was simply sitting down, chatting to his friends before the thug targetted him.

megrose

Pleased to hear there's been an improvement, Jenny. Hope it continues.

How awful to hear about your son being attacked, KJ. I hope the school act appropriately and don't just suspend the culprit for a few days.

Neph

Good to hear he is improving Jenny, KJ that is awful and so frustrating as you hand your care over to the school and it ties your hands somewhat, hope he's ok. Lolli hope your mum improves soon too, my mother in law cracked her hip last year and I am sure it's made her frailer (?) than she was before.

dorothyd

sending thoughts to you both. Not much you can do about warding off unprovoked attacks, but really, what is it with these kids?

Jennymf

Oh dear KJ where were the teacher`s when all of that was going on? I do hope your son is feeling a bit better now, are you going to sort the school out . I would be so angry, the culprits need to be sorted out in some way, maybe named and shamed in assembly and invite their parents to attend as well.. Many thanks for all your kind thoughts and wishes, each day things are getting better, my husband has even started to joke and laugh , some thing that has been missing for a long time.

Liz

Oh, Jenny! How lovely. Hope he continues to feel better and get well.

dorothyd

Jenny, that is such good news, it really is.
KJ how is your son tonight?
And what is it with kids at the moment ... I called for the carer yesterday morning, to find she could not come to work. The evening before her son, aged 10, had asked to go play with a local boy. Half an hour later that boy's mother brought him back, blood pouring from a head wound. He kept saying he had fallen, until the mother had gone and then said the boy had thrown a rock at him... it was a deep enough cut for stitches.

Carol

(((To you all in these upsetting situations)))

KJ

[quote=dorothyd]KJ how is your son tonight?[/quote]
He is improving, thanks. He is sporting two black eyes and swollen cheeks as well as complaining that he can feel his brain sloshing when he moves his head forward. Thankfully there is no fracture there (dodctor said he would re-check xrays and phone us if there was a problem).

Jennymf

KJ
I do hope your son is feeling a little better, it sounds a really horrible, mindless attack, poor thing.

KJ

Thanks Jenny,
I've informed the school that if there are any further incidents involving my son, then I am sending the police in to investigate the assault. (It is registered as assault on the hospital records too). He only has three more weeks to endure then he'll be on a GCSE exam timetable after Easter.

B Darter

I am so sorry to hear about your son KJ. My thoughts are with you. There is so much anger out there and innocent people are on the receiving end of it.

lexia

Sorry to have missed this thread till now, but happy to have come in on what looks to be much more promising news.

( got taken in hospital myself on a 999'er on Wednesday ! Came home Saturday)

Good to hear that your husband is so much better, Jenny.
KJ - this is a shocking situation and I do hope that your son is feeling better and that it doesn't effect his school work too much.

Thinking of everyone who has someone poorly close to them and wishing them all good things. Being the patient is hard - but often being the visitor/carer is much worse !

Jay Mandal

Hope you're OK now, Lexia.

dorothyd

Lexia, sounds dramatic, are you all right? Really all right, I mean, not just putting on a brave face?

Jennymf

Thanks Lexia, things improving , slow but we will get there, sorry to hear you have been unwell, hope you are feeling better, and KJ hope your son is recovering as the days go by, take care all of you

KJ

Hi Lexia,
I hope you're OK.

Carol

Lexia, hope you're okay now and not overdoing things.

Lolli

Jenny I hope your husband continues to improve. It was lovely reading the post about him hugging his grandson.

KJ. I hope your son continues to improve and that the thug is permanently off timetable

Lex, spill. we need to know that you are really getting better and not just putting a brave face on!