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Comments
This was a difficult book for me to review. The story is extremely well told and is clearly authentic, but my sythpathy for The Slave (we do not know her real name) wained after only a few pages and I had to force myself to read on.
Perhaps it was the diary form of the narrative, but I think it more likely that when The Slave became Esperanza, she lost her vulnerability. She is certainly good at her job. Silvia, a seasoned professional, had 1,500 Euros for the Jefe, but we believe Esperanza has much more - yet she has only been on the streets for two weeks.
We are used to diary entries at least every few days, yet towards the end of Chapter Three entries stop for eleven months. The story resumes without any indication what had happened. By that time, I didn't care.
To be frank, I found this book depressing. Everyone is aware that tens of thousands of Africans risk their lives in the hope of securing a better future in the West. The Slave's Notebook is another sad story about that plight.
Call it emotional fatigue if you like, but I do not want to read anymore about it and will not buy this book.
The only valid writing point may be the long gap in the diary entries- you may not have mentioned why, which many readers will be willing to accept without some indication of why such a gap is there, or you may have and the reader didn't pick up on it.
Criticism is part of the writer's life, and even the best sometimes get an adverse response.
As for the rest of the critique, I tend to agree with Carol the person doesnt like this type of book. However, Im sure that weve all been given books to critique on YWO that were not our preferred genre, and I hope that we tried to be constructive even if it was painful to have to read several thousand words of it. The critique that you received was not constructive the reviewer just said I didnt like it.
I did like it, as did many others. Keep at it.
This is the fault of this site. You have to review all sorts of books. I had a sci fi to review I hate sci fi. But I don't just consider the genre I look at the writing skill and try to be constructive.
You can remove reviews but how? I haven't figured that out yet. I had an email to say I could remove one and click here but it hasn't worked.
Dorothy, thank you for your support. I didn't like the kind of nasty-ish irony about the girl working hard on the streets and her dismissal of the plight of African immigrants.
Carol, you are always the voice of reason and brilliant at summing things up. I can see what you are saying and trust your opinion. (The time thingy is wrong. It all happens over 2 months.)
Tracy, I didn't know that such support existed out there. Your experiences are helpful indeed. I very much value what you say about wanting to boost my story's ranking, but don't worry I'm already satisfied with what I've learnt. (What's your story called? I'd like to do a free will.)
Radames, you took the trouble to do a free will for me and I can tell you it really came in at the right time. Thanks once again for your support.
TT, your e-mail has just arrived. I'll be replying in full.
(MrD, the good life? Maybe for some, but not for all. At the moment it's bl**dy murder!)
I think that the site should explain more clearly that you can reject a piece you have to review if you want. It would cut out a lot of this cross genre stuff. Anyway, glad to hear you're doing well. You've got a good book on your hands.