I have been through the wars of late

Woll222

Owing to my mother's now increasingly short term memory problems, forcing me on the edge of a breakdown, won't go through all the ins and outs of this but I have repeated things for until I am blue in the face. The surgery knows more or less now what has been happening through my neighbour,bless her but as the old adage goes, you can take the horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Just before Christmas, our halogen heater stopped working, I switched it off but we could not get it to work again, I was not rough with it or anything but it was coincidental. Anyway, she was not very nice about it. I ran out of the house to diffuse the situation and also my fear of doing something terrible. In the process to get away quickly, I tripped and fell on to the road, fracturing my ankle twice. It was operated on and now I am in a plaster cast, due to see the consultant soon then another four weeks in plaster unless a miracle happens. I have also rejoined UNA-UK this year and had a letter published as well as something in People's Friend. I cannot fault the care on the whole of West Suffolk Hospital and proved quite an educational experience. What is more, the food was excellent. I am sorry I have not corresponded sooner but you can all now see why

Baggy Books

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Hope 2014 is better for you.

Carol

Sorry to hear of your difficulties Woll222.

Hope you heal without further problem, and 2014 will be better for you.

Congratulations on your published items. :)

heather

Have we a new Woll? Seems to be a 2 more than before - or am I going mad?

Woll222

Had to change it slightly but just refer me to as Woll as you always do. Same old me as such

Liz

Hope your leg heals well, Woll.

Wilts

Hope your leg is better soon Woll and 2014 is a better year for you.

Tiny Nell

So sorry to hear about your accident, Woll. It must be very difficult to manage.

All the best for 2014 - and keep up the good work with the writing!

heather

Hope the leg heals soon Woll and that 2014 is a good year for you.

snailmale

Sorry to hear of your problems, Woll. I hope next year is better for you.

Mrs Bear

So sorry to hear of your troubles, Woll. Who looked after your Mum when you were in hospital? Could you take advantage of your current disability to ask for/demand help? They are not allowed to offer - you have to ask.
I hope your writing success has brought you some happiness, and that there will be more to come in 2014.

Lizy

Sorry to hear about your bad spell, Woll.
Please try to believe it IS only a spell.
Mum losing her short term memory must be very distressing - I went through that with my father so I know,
but don't let it get you so down that you have a breakdown again. Take all the help the medics offer, ask for more if you need it, make sure you heal properly (ankle and mind)
May 2014 be a much better year.

Woll222

Mum is not the sort of person who is happy about strangers coming in. The fact is between you and I, because of the nature of the 'd' and one has to be subtle but honest, she can be quite verbally viscous because of it and does not want anyone to find out. Yes, the situation can be testing to put it mildly but our Doc has been made aware of the problems now so sooner or later, something serious will have to be done. She makes the same old mistakes, upsets me then apologises or becomes nastily sarcastic. Does not exactly win friends and influences people if you get the gist.

ginab

Hope you have a better 2014 and you are on the mend quickly.

Lou Treleaven

Poor you, that sounds really painful. Hope you are feeling better now and congratulations on your published items.

Nena

Woll, my mother went through a stage of paranoia, hallucinations and terrible behaviour towards her friends and family when she started losing her memory. Can the doctors not give your mother something to help with that? It really sounds as though she needs to be assessed.

I'm sorry about your leg. I hope it heals very soon. Can you get some counselling to help you cope with your mum?

Woll222

I am not sure about either. If I say anything and she finds out, heaven knows what she might do. The odd thing is she shows or I think pretends to show concern but at other times, well, you can make your own guess. She is supposed to seen Dr Clark but she has not been near him since the end of November,beginning of December and he is rather annoyed by her. My neighbour reported her behaviour because they could hear the stress I have been under but each time, Mum took me so it made it rather difficult,even though he pressed me to talk. To be honest, I was really scared, I hope now that he saw her briefly in November, he can understand why following a showdown. On the 5th Dec. there had already been a ding dong because she started to talk and was incoherent. For a short while there was improvement but recently, it looks like a return to square 1. If I did get counselling, someone would have to take me and Mum would start asking questions either beforehand or when I returned, to be honest, I am not a very good liar although she is earning star points in that direction. She denies she has dropped off. When she does, her mouth is open in such a way, it looks as though she is having a TNA or minor stroke. In one one, I feel utterly trapped and desperate at times. She claims that she is not verbally aggressive when she is and if I challenge her about it, she threatens me. Sorry about this but I hope you can see my predicament

Woll222

Forgot to tell you, I am out of plaster cast now and for two weeks I was fitted with a walking boot. Although they told me I could chuck it, I do periodically return to it for a short while owing to the pain from the plate and pins yet it also gets fearfully hot as well. Swings and roundabouts

pbw

((((((Woll22))))))

I hope 2014 brings you lots of good things.

Jenthom72

Sorry to hear about what's been happening, Will. Sounds like you've had a nightmare. I hope 2014 brings better days.

Woll222

Off and on, it is still with me, I am afraid In truth, I do not know who to turn to without her finding out. My neighbour noticed that I was looking a little unwell. There are times when the atmosphere is toxic. To be honest, some of this is due to the fact that my grandparents unwisely spoilt her when she was very young, she had been ill a great deal and for the sake of a quiet life, they let things go a bit then my father sadly over indulged her. I live a life of fear when I try to challenge her, which she does not like

Neph

Wol |I've said this before and I will say it again, go to your doctor,talk to them, see what they can do for you, and her. You need help, you can't deal with this on your own. I still think it sounds like she has the onset of dementia and trust me this can make them appear evil. You need to be strong and look after yourself. Talk to social services, even talk to the councillors at Altzimers society they might be able to give you some pointers to help you deal with your mother when she is at her worst.

Neph

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forum.php might give you some support.

Island Girl

Just to put in my two cents, is there some way of making a personal appointment with Dr. Clark so that you can explain things in more detail to him in private? Perhaps if you told mother you were off to the library or other such place that she wouldn't accompany you? If you find it difficult or worrying to lie, do visit the library following the doctor's appointment. Woll, at least if a medical professional is aware of the situation you now find yourself in, they might be able to work out a way to provide assistance for you and your mother without raising her suspicions. You can't keep doing this on your own.
ps. Glad your ankle is improving.

Woll222

Well, it took over a year for some improvement,the social services are in the know now.A lovely lady called Libby came to see me and Mum and she had a lovely chat. What is more despite being 62+ years young,I am now a pensioner, funny feeling ,EAS replaced by pension from last week,the JC from Bury or wherever,on the phone, could not have done enough,metaphorically held my hand and guided me through the questions. Not a huge amount so I will now return to my writing with a clear conscience of not being asked about my job search. I can return to my writing with new gusto as well as Future Learn and it might supplement my pension, it is onwards and upwards with no moments of regrets which is my rule from now on. As a friend of mine who was in the choir years ago said, 'retirement is merely another job after all, she said you will find yourself even busier than you were trying to find work Iconverse literally with Douglas Henshall every evening before bed,watch some of his early work. I would not say it is all plain sailing with Mum's problem but knowing everything is now in the open and help is at hand if and when I really need it,has enabled me to relax, Libby was wonderful and told me to try not to worry

Phots Moll

Hi Woll.

Great to hear things have improved a bit and you're able to get on with your writing!

Woll222

Thank you Phots. I am going to make my number once more with the WB as well, especially my tutor, informing him I have been doing some writing as well as F.Learn. I can write with a clear conscience that my hobby will not get me into trouble and may even earn a few extra bob or two to supplement my pension,trusting this is permissible wheras I had to partly conceal this before, well lots of people do this