›
Welcome to Writers Talkback. If you are a new user, your account will have to be approved manually to prevent spam. Please bear with us in the meantime

With or without commas?

Tiny NellTiny Nell
edited July 2014 in Writing
He nodded over the fence in our neighbour Mr Clark’s direction.

Or

He nodded over the fence in, our neighbour, Mr Clark’s direction.

Comments

  • Phots MollPhots Moll
    If you want commas I'd place them like this - He nodded over the fence in our neighbour, Mr Clark’s, direction. Don't think you need them at all really though as the version without is quite clear.
  • EddisburyEddisbury
    Best without. Otherwise as PM suggests
  • caseycasey
    edited July 2014
    I'd put it as PM with commas around Mr Clark as it is an addition to the sentence which makes sense without it.
  • Baggy BooksBaggy Books
    Ditto.
  • heatherheather
    The possessive makes it a bit tricky.

    Should it be

    He nodded over the fence in our neighbour, Mr Clark’s, direction.
    or
    He nodded over the fence in our neighbour's, Mr Clark’s, direction.
    or
    He nodded over the fence in our neighbour's, Mr Clark, direction.

    The second two are clumsy, yet in the first one if you leave out the bracketed clause you lose the possessive.

    Which is why in this case I would choose to go without the commas!
    Or rewrite the sentence and surroundings so that the neighbour is 'named' somewhere else.
  • LizLiz
    Number 3 is wrong, imo and also putting and 's' on neighbour. You don't lose the possession, because in that instance suggested by Casey and BB, the neighbour refers to Mr Clark and Mr Clark has the possession.
  • heatherheather
    But if you leave out the bit between the brackets you get

    He nodded over the fence in our neighbour direction.

    How about

    He nodded over the fence in the direction of our neighbour, Mr Clark.
  • LizyLizy
    Ah - Heather beat me to it by 5 minutes. What she said - the second one.
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    Yes, the possessive was what foxed me re insertion of commas. I like your solution, heather.

    *cuts and pastes*
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    May I tax your brains once more with this little nugget? Do you agree with my commas after 'Mum' and 'Dad'?

    Once arranged, Mum and Dad reclined in their deckchairs, donned their sunglasses and began to read, Mum, a soppy love story and Dad, the newspaper.
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    I'm no expert, and no doubt those more sure of their punctuation will correct me if I'm wrong... but... I think it needs a colon rather than a comma after the word 'read', and then the commas after Mum and Dad work fine.
  • Mrs BearMrs Bear
    'Once arranged, Mum and Dad reclined in their deckchairs, donned their sunglasses and began to read, Mum a soppy love story and Dad the newspaper.'
    No commas. Otherwise you are in danger of calling Mum a soppy love story and Dad the newspaper.
  • LizyLizy
    I'd have put an m-dash after 'read' but I agree with the other commas.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    edited July 2014
    Some Help please, Just started a new novel and when someone is speaking in the book is it "Hello John" or 'Hello John' I have looked at many books and the older ones use " whilst newer use '
    what is correct or are they both OK to use as into 4000 word and do not want to have to change it.
  • heatherheather
    Either is Ok. It will depend on the publisher's house style which you won't know yet!

    I always start with ", because if you want to change it later it is easier to use Find and Replace to change " to ' than the other way round, which will also pick up all possessive apostrophes etc. (i.e change it's to it"s) which you don't want!

    You also need a comma between Hello and John.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    Thank you Heather, that is so helpful.
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    I've noticed that U.S. writers tend to use " " whereas ' ' is more common among Brits, but heather's suggestion is wise.

    I always use single speech marks - habit!
  • LizyLizy
    I always use doubles for speech and singles for quotes, but I'm aware that when - get me! - I find a publisher it may all have to change.

    As long as you're consistent, HA, use whatever you've started with.
  • CarolCarol
    Yes, I use double speech marks and single for quotes.

    But that's a useful tip for changing " " to ' ', Heather. :)
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    I generally use single for speech - but Heather's tip about 'find & replace' issues has made me think again! :)
Sign In or Register to comment.