- or ... here and here?

Tiny Nell

I have included the following two lines in a book. Now I've confused myself as to whether one, both or neither is right:

‘Have you got your…?’ Mum’s faint voice faded away behind me as I raced around the corner.


She hasn't exactly been cut off, hence the deliberation about using an em-dash. Do ellipses convey the fading away better, do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earlier in the story, I wrote this:

‘Where are you—?’ I heard a muffled response as I sprinted away, intent on being the first customer at The Greenacres.

Am I write to give this one a different ending?

Mrs Bear

You're trying to convey two different things, so, correctly, want to use two different punctuations. According to my Oxford A-Z of Grammar and Punctuation:
Ellipsis is used in dialogue to show that the speaker trails off.
The em-dash is used to show that someone breaks off or is interrupted.
In the examples given, you are using the right ones in the right places.

Tiny Nell

Oh, thank you, Mrs Bear. Just what I wanted to hear! <:-P

Dwight

Oh good, Mrs Bear. I've been using ellipses left, right and centre to convey trailing-offs in dialogue, but not always at the end. I like using them for hesitations before the speaker continues. This is in an effort to reproduce filmic dialogue where there are many pauses for emphasis, or to allow a movement of the head (which I would narrate), an expression to register, or a thought to cross one's mind, before speaking on. Or simply in narration to bring out an effect that might be lost in pacy action. Here's an example:

Her lips were enticing... delicious... robbing him of all his will and powers as he let himself be kissed gently on his lips by that beautiful lipstick.

Clearly the ellipses could be replaced by commas, but to my mind that would rob the moment of its length, its savouring of pleasure, indeed, the three effects her kiss had on the POV character.

What do you think, Mrs Bear? Is this usage too cavalier? Would an editor attack it with their blue pencil?

Carol

Dwight, I sometimes use ellipses within a sentence, where the character's thoughts are trailing off. So I'd find the answer interesting too.

Lizy

I think you're supposed to put spaces between the dots and alsaway three dots like this . . .?
word space dot space dot space dot question mark.

Or so an English teacher told me. That's a teacher of English, not a teacher who is English. English can be confusing.

Onlinegenie

English can be confusing.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Liz

I am reliably informed by an American poet friend that if you put apple cider vinegar in a cup with a tiny drop of washing up liquid to break the surface tension, fruit flies will find it enticing and drown. I am trying this at the minute. Unfortunately, we don't have any fruit flies. But i'm not taking any risks, now.

Mrs Bear

Dwight, it does what you what it to do - it draws out the moment, gives the idea that he is savouring, which commas wouldn't do as well. (Though be careful or repeating 'lips' in that example - it's in 'lipstick' too.)
No spaces, Lizy. It's a series of 3 full stops...
OLG, I heard that in Australia in 1979, and have been chucking it at people ever since.

Dwight

Thanks, Mrs B. I'm reassured.

I should have missed out 'on his lips'. And I thought I was a stickler for not stating the obvious.

Onlinegenie

OLG, I heard that in Australia in 1979, and have been chucking it at people ever since.

I knew it was old, but didn't know it was that old!

Mrs Bear

Vintage, dear. We don't use the word 'old'.

Tristram_Shandy

I always used to write the dots as Lizy suggested, and I think I must have based that on how the ellipses appeared in certain books. Maybe. Not entirely sure where it came from. But a few weeks ago I saw something that suggested it's more correct to place the dots as Mrs Bear says, and I think I might be converted to that.

Tiny Nell

I've seen them both ways in traditionally published books. Confusing . . ./...

Tristram_Shandy

It could be house styles. There may have been a rule at one time (like double spaces after a full stop, and underlining words to be italicized) but printing preferences became more relaxed. What I saw recently was a very long list of submission guidelines for a particular publication, which insisted on the dots without spaces, apart from one after the final dot if the next sentence follows in the same paragraph. It really can be confusing. But the no spaces approach might be a safe bet.

Mrs Bear

Well, if you put a full stop after the three dots - no, why should you? The three dots are there to say something's missing... I think the full stop thing is a hangover from earlier days.
I suspect many of the old rules of typing have gone by the board now.

Tristram_Shandy

No, you shouldn't put a full stop after the dots. The dots themselves do that job. I've never seen it done that way.

danfango

Is the dot-space-dot-space-dot thing used when text has been omitted from quotations? To show that something's been cut for editorial reasons rather than it just being a verbatim quote from a very hesitant speaker?

e.g. 'In a rambling acceptance speech, the author thanked a number of people: "I couldn't have achieved this without my family, my agent, my editor . . . and the TalkBack online community, of course!"'

A normal ellipsis would suggest there was simply a pause (possibly for dramatic effect) after "my editor".

I think it's more common to use square brackets in those circumstances, though, i.e. [...]

Tristram_Shandy

The dot-space-dot-space-dot version -- to signify a pause or trailing off, rather than omission -- appears in Stephen King's "From a Buick 8", which I'm reading at the moment. So I reckon it's more a house style thing than something more technical -- at least in contemporary printing.