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Would you use 'a' or 'an'?

Tiny NellTiny Nell
edited September 2014 in Writing
Here's the line:

Jake managed a ‘mmm’, twisting his lips so that no sobs would escape.

I'm wondering about the 'a' before 'mmm'.

Comments

  • snailmalesnailmale
    I'd go for 'a', TN
    You're indicating a sound, not the single letter. You wouldn't say 'an miaow', although you would say 'an em'.
  • snailmalesnailmale
    ...although, thinking about it ;'an mmm' doesn't seem out of place in this context.

    *slinks off, confused*
  • Baggy BooksBaggy Books
    Would he be twisting his lips to make that sound?

    An for vowel-like sounds - an envelope, a package etc.
  • WordyWordy
    If you try reading it aloud it is easier to say "an mmm" even though it is not a vowel sound. I can see why you are confused TN.
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    edited September 2014
    If you read the line (as a reader would) the way you've written it, it sounds correct. If you read it with 'an' it jarrs - which would take a reader straight out of the story.

    Wordy posted while I was writing my post - he's right - when you read it aloud 'an' sounds OK. But how many readers would read it aloud?
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    Yes, because to say 'mmm' involves making a little vowel sound first...
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    How about leaving out the 'a' or 'an'?

    'Mmm' Jake managed, twisting his lips so that no sobs would escape.
  • danfangodanfango
    I like Claudia's suggestion, but I'm still quite distracted by working out what somebody twisting their lips would actually look like.
  • neilneil
    A gurner?
  • LizyLizy
    If you say it out loud, an is correct in my opinion.

    Or like Claudia says, write it differently to avoid having to choose.
  • Mrs BearMrs Bear
    Because the sound you'd make for mmm begins with a vowel - a kind of uh sound, you'd use an. I think I'd press my lips together to stop a sob from escaping. If I twisted them I'd leave little gaps.
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    You have to imagine a child trying not to cry. It's almost as if they are chewing like a camel when you watch their lips - but I can't write that as it's a serious scene! 'Twisting' seemed right to me, but now you've all taken against it, I'll have to think again. Not promising anything...

  • heatherheather
    If I were saying 'mmm' I would start as though I were saying e.g. mouse.
    And you wouldn't have an mouse.
    If he is saying ummm then put the u in, otherwise go with a.
  • danfangodanfango
    You have to imagine a child trying not to cry. It's almost as if they are chewing like a camel when you watch their lips - but I can't write that as it's a serious scene!
    :-S - that sort of thing? I can picture it, but I'm not sure 'twisting' is quite right.
  • neilneil
    How about:

    Struggling to control a sob, only the merest 'mmm' sound escaped Jake's trembling lips.
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    Mmmm, maybe. I wanted something a bit more physical than 'trembling', a real effort with his mouth, something like 'contorting', but that's just a bit too gymnastic!
  • neilneil
    OK, try struggling lips. ( Not you personally of course, could frighten the binmen)
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    Oh, I already do (frighten the binmen), Neil!

    'Struggling...'?

    *chews it over*
  • neilneil
    I knew there was something, TN, about you and the binmen - or was it just the bins.

    PS Before some bright spark points it out. I've used struggling already in the sentence. Woe!
  • LizyLizy
    Contorted his lips?
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    'Mmm' Jake managed, working his lips so that no sobs would escape.
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    edited September 2014
    twist… synonyms: wind, curl, coil, bend, twirl, entwine, interweave

    struggle… synonyms: move violently, thrash about, resist, fight back, kick, great effort

    work… synonyms: labour, effort, exertion, toil

    contort… synonyms: twist, screw up, warp
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    *lies down and covers forehead with a damp cloth*
  • LizyLizy
    *pats Tiny Nell's hand and brings restorative cuppa*
  • Mrs BearMrs Bear
    A little warning: all those of you who have been practising twisting, curling, struggling, or indeed contorting in front of the mirror - the wind will change and you'll stay like that. :-S
  • ClaudiaClaudia
    *lies down and covers forehead with a damp cloth*
    This is what happens when you ask a bunch of writers a question about writing. #:-S
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    I know! And I've gone and done it again... b-(
  • LizyLizy
    edited September 2014
    A little warning: all those of you who have been practising twisting, curling, struggling, or indeed contorting in front of the mirror - the wind will change and you'll stay like that. :-S
    Mrs Bear - I am the one who is going to double her clutch of grandchildren very soon, yet you are being very disciplinarian at the moment. Lines on another thread, tutting on this one ...
    or is it the rose (imagine acute accent) talking?

  • Mrs BearMrs Bear
    That's a cute accent you've got there Lizy.
    Nah - I just like being bossy once in a while.
  • LizyLizy
    That's a cute accent you've got there Lizy.

    The moment I typed it I knew - I just knew . . .

  • BetsieBetsie
    'Mmmm' murmured Jake, lips pressed tight to contain his sobs
  • neilneil
    A good one, Betsie. Cue Tiny Nell.
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    Yep, like it...
  • LizyLizy
    Thank gods for that!
    Now we can move on to TN's next dilemma

    :-B
  • Mrs BearMrs Bear
    edited September 2014
    When TN wrote a poem that she wasn't sure about,
    She came to see her Talkback chums, and put the question out.
    'My lines won't scan, my words won't rhyme, please help me! Save the day!
    Or else I will be called upon to throw the thing away.'
    They scratched their heads, and chewed their pens, and gave it all they'd got,
    And with their mighty brains engaged, untangled TN's knot.


    :D
  • heatherheather
    But foolishly they didn't think to take away her pen
    And back she went to rhyming and got knotted up again
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    :))

    Bravo!
  • LizLiz
    It's that hair. I'm positive that if you shaved your head you'd never get tangled again.
  • Tiny NellTiny Nell
    edited September 2014
    No sooner said than done.

    *smears wax over head and rips*
  • LizyLizy
    *screams in sympathy*
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