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Just a body?

edited June 2015 in Writing
Chapter one - Written from Steve's point of view.
Steve thinks he's killed Lisa and dumps her unconscious body in the woods.

Chapter two - The first few pages are written from the point of view of some travellers who find Lisa's body and rescue her, but they don't know who she is until she wakes up and tells them.

Here's my dilemma -

In Ch one we know she is Lisa, so in Ch 2 we know who she is while the travellers don't.
Do I refer to her as "the body" or "the unconscious woman" until she identifies herself, or do I call her "Lisa" because we know who she is?

Comments

  • The body.
  • If it's first person in their POV then definitely 'the body' 'the woman' etc.

    If it's 3rd person and it's obvious to the reader this is Lisa you could say either 'the body' or 'Lisa's body'. I think I'd go with not naming her until she tells them, especially if it's not too long before she identifies herself.

  • I think that's what I'll do - leave it till she tells them - but calling her 'the body' felt wrong when I knew her name!
  • I concur.

    Sounds good. When can I read it?
  • In about a year, judging by my present snail-like progress.
    What with .... several details deleted .... and an apartment to sell, I am a bit distracted!
  • I agree wholeheartedly with the above. You know she's Lisa; we know she's Lisa; but if the people through whose eyes we are looking don't, then she's anonymous.
  • What Mrs Bear said
  • I've gone back and changed it so she's not Lisa in Ch 2 until she says she is. I shall read it owver in a few days and make sure it sounds right - unless anyone else wants to? There's not much of it so far and it's first draft, so it's totally unpolished.
  • I'll read it for you, Lizy. I'll pm you my email if you like.
  • I wouldn't call her 'the body' more than once (unless she's actually dead). Your description of her should change over time, echoing the way the travellers who find her gather more information about her. For example:

    the shape half-hidden in the undergrowth [when somebody first spots something lying on the ground] >>> the body [when they're near enough to see it's a person >>> the unconscious woman [when they can see she's a woman] >>> the woman [when she wakes up] >>> Lisa [once she's well enough to introduce herself].

    Always keep in mind who's 'telling' that part of the story (i.e. your viewpoint character) and stay true to what they know at that moment in time.
  • Lizy, if you need any help re the police or the investigation side of things, just get in touch.

    Nice explanation danfango
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