Something missing?

TaffetaPunk

TaffetaPunk

Hi all,

I'm hoping some of you may have some ideas.

I'm typing up a novel at the moment, and have just been through what I've done so far with a red pen and handy proof-reading symbols.  But the trouble is, all the action seems to be happening too quickly.  There's something missing within the text and I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.  All the characters are there, the descriptions are there (though that's what I struggle with most), but the timing seems wrong.  Maybe I shouldn't analyse it until a couple of months after I've finished typing it, but in the meantime, I'm stuck wishing I knew what the problem was...

Carol

If everything is happening too quickly, is there any linking scenes that could be used to slow the pace a little, or just to alter the speed so you don't slow it too much. It is a good idea to give things a break, and allow things to mull over in your brain.

lucyg

Write down the list of events and then give each one a time when it occurred. This works for me in similar situations.You realise whether it is possible for things to have happened in the space of time allotted.

TaffetaPunk

It's kind of like that, but it's as if, when I read it, something just isn't quite right.  I think I do need linking scenes, but I don't want it to look like padding, as that would kill it.  Perhaps, as it's from one character's PoV, I should do what I was thinking of doing, and write it in the first person, see how it turns out.  I've written the epilogue in first while the rest is in third, and I was able to instantly get inside her head and write as though I were her.  Perhaps that's the answer.

I'll carry on as I am for now, and leave it a while.  If I'm still stuck as to what it is, I'll come back and grill you again!

Jacey

Subplots are handy for slowing down the main action.  Could you introduce one, or if you have one, make it a little more complex?

TaffetaPunk

I do have a subplot, my character's nemesis from their teenage years - two women hating each other is such fun to write!  But I didn't think it was going anywhere, except I did, finally, work out why they hated each other.  Maybe I could develop that a bit more?  I was going to make it more sinister, but it didn't work, so I think I'll leave it in and try the more 'everyday' approach.  Hatred is hatred, after all, and is still fun to write!

Carol

If you found out why they hated each other then that sub-plot has somewhere to go, and I'm sure it will allow a number of points of conflict and angst along the way.

TaffetaPunk

Yep - thanks, guys!  I appreciate the advice.  I'll carry on as I am, just for now, and when it's finished, I'll leave it a short while and then write the first two or three chapters in the first person - see how it turns out.  But I've already got ideas for how it'll look, and as my character is very flamboyant (you couldn't miss her in a crowd!), it should be easy enough.  I love her, anyway, so it should be interesting to get inside her head a bit more.  But, and don't ask me where this logic comes from, I want to get it down more or less as I wrote it (with some editing along the way), so I have it on my computer (and my OH will put it onto a disk, as before).  That way, I've still got all my original ideas without having to go through it all again and remember what I missed out and what I've added.  Hmm, does that make sense?

Carol

Perfect sense. Go with it. I believe we should trust our instincts. Good luck.

sal

I had exactly the same problem a few months back with some fiction of mine. According to the publisher, it was the lack of a time scale- 'the following week'  'Three hours later' or 'It seemed a lifetime but only hours had passed since...' is a very important part of a novel.  Another point made was my 'lack of emotional depth' Hope this helps.

TaffetaPunk

Yep, I do put 'the following week,' etc, but I think I'll do what I was planning and rewrite it in first person, then the emotion can come through more.  I do think that's what's lacking more than anything, though I've tried to put it in as I've gone along.  Writing her in the first person will allow me to let her talk rather than relaying what she said, as it were.