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Hello! I'm new to writing and to the Forum.
I've used the name Codger because I am in fact a codger in my 86th year. I'm a writer with a small 'W'. The stuff that I write is intend to make folk suffering from ill health to smile and maybe even laugh now and then. This they frequently do. Whether this purely out of politeness is what I'm here to find out. I would appreciate your help.
Example:
I do my shopping all online
It’s easier to do.
Except for just one little thing
I’m going to tell to you.
The problem that I have I fear
Is a misbehaving mouse.
It orders stuff I shouldn’t have
For delivery to the house.
I do my best to grab it back
Come back here I wail
But now it’s gone all wireless
And it doesn’t have a tail.
It wanders up and down the aisles
Clicking there and here
I try to keep it well away
From where they keep the beer.
It knows I’m diabetic
But it doesn’t give a fig
Clicking on the chocolate
Has me looking like a pig.
And so I’ve had to cage it
When I go to shop online.
The keyboard now it has to be
Though it takes a bit more time.
Comments
Memory loss is a frightening thing,
The pain you can't explain.
When you love your faithful little dog,
But can't remember her name.
I think I once knew your father.....went by the name of Old.......
:-*
Welcome aboard!
Correction:
"The Old Codgers", a fictional pair who commented on the letters page from 1935 to 1990.
I should never have Googled them. That was worse than being told there was no Father Christmas.
"Oh dear me, I'm afraid I'm one of those. Logged in May 2017, got a lovely welcome, them disappeared. :/But I have been busy and must have written over 200 poems/rhymes since them. Now I'm newly subscribed to the mag and determined to put myself around a bit. I'll be 88 later this year so I'm running out of time! "
I thought I'd bring this thread to the top again to alert those of you who might not see his post on the other thread.
Thinning Skin.
I think I'm becoming invisible,
I recognize all the signs.
My skin has now become so thin
I can almost see inside.
So seek out the advantages.
That's what I always do.
Like when I do my weekly shop
I'll no longer have to queue.
I won't be done for speeding,
No police would ever dare
To say he stopped a motorcar
And found there's no one there.
There is of course a drawback..
I can hardly bare to tell.
They won't know if I've past away
Until I start to smell.
(Who said that I always did anyway?👿)
An example:
ALTERNATIVE DIET
No matter how often I eat five veg a day
My Body Mass Index stays just the same way
If they fed us less data but gave us more food
I'm sure it would improve the Nation's mood
All these diets and methods of keeping us slim
Can be replicated by going to the gym
So take any diet book off your shelf
And eat one page a day to improve your health
Keep it up, Codger. People with disabilities need all the fun they can get.
I don't remember your name. Have you changed it since you were last here? Or maybe you left before I joined.
Why do my lungs get all the care?
I've other organs inside there.
I know it's all because I smoked
And poor old lungs there nearly choked.
So now they reckon they'll pay me back
By causing me to cough and hack.
And give me many sleepless nights
Including exacerbation frights.
I'm sorry lungs I didn't know.
Deterioration was so slow.
Fun poems, and i bet you will come up with more ideas soon.
And had some funny things to say.
Which now because of how things be,
Would be regarded non-pc
She had some problem with her health,
And sadly lacked much earthy wealth.
But always battled on despite
No NHS was then in sight.
Unlike old Mrs Whats-her-name
She never would admit to pain.
Who she described with little stealth
As much enjoying her bad health.
Very good.
She never would admit to pain
Unlike old Mrs Whats-her-name
Who she described with little stealth
As much enjoying her bad health.
Then all three lines to do with Mrs Whatsername are together. I hope you are going into retirement homes etc and reading these? Or would that be impossible for you?
Some lines stood out: I'm sorry lungs I didn't know. Deterioration was so slow. - This made me gulp and a bit and think of my father and uncles who all suffered early deaths due to smoking.
As for: As much enjoying her bad health. - That line could have been written about my late mother!
p.s. I enjoyed Noodlehendon's poem too
A fag behind the bike shed,
Wasn't that great fun.
So long as no one split on you,
And went and told your Mum.
They said 'tud stop me growing.
Maybe they were right.
I must admit I'm challenged,
When it comes to height.
I wish my Mum had found me,
Behind that bike shed when,
I puffed on my first Woodbine,
When I was only ten.
Liz, maybe if your son watched some medical footage about the damage smoking does, it would make him think.