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So I've sort of written a (e)Book

edited January 2013 in Writing
Hey ho!

Last year I ... well I had a bit of a mental breakdown to be honest, it had been a long time coming.

My wife suggested I blog about what I was going through and what had gone on.

What came out was a little different to what she was expecting as I poured out everything I had ever held back, things I had never told anyone and things I had never admitted to myself.

The blog ran for a few months over the summer and I did 53 entries in all.
What I sort of accidentally published on Amazon (I was off work due to snow and on an up) Is 50 of them, a foreword by my wife and an update at the end.

The contents are a bit "dark" but cover infidelity, substance abuse, domestic abuse, unplanned pregnancy, grief and a few happier entries for good measure as well.



  • A very brave act - and as the review suggests, writing about it is therapeutic.

  • Thank you

    Its written under a pseudonym and all of the names are changed but I'm not ready for the fall out of naming and shaming
  • [quote=Baggy Books]writing about it is therapeutic. [/quote] I've often heard that said about a variety of emotional traumas - did you find that to be the case?
  • Yeah I did, like I said there are things in there I hadn't admitted to anyone myself included so getting it out was a relief.

    I used to "joke" writing it was like picking scabs off my soul, some of the entries knocked me for six and brought it all back and pushed me further down the spiral of self loathing.

    But then I'd get up the next day and write another one and then another one, once I started it just sort of poured out of me.
  • A brave step to take JJ. ((JJ))
  • Just on the writing, I like the economy and clarity of it. The bit that I liked best was watching the stars at 3 a.m on a summer night. It helped you rise above the shitty job. I hope the writing helps you rise above the rest.
  • James, I've just read the first few pages of your book via the 'Look Inside' facility and I was fascinated. The writing style is natural - warts and all - presumably because you've taken it directly from your blog entries.
    And that's my only criticism. I found it hard to become immersed in the story you are telling because of the distraction of the unedited writing. And I think that's a real shame, because your 'voice' is great. I think you should consider having the book properly proofed and edited – because it has the potential to fly.
  • Thank you all so much

    Claudia -

    I wrote vast swathes of it basically off my rocker, I have tried to rewrite bits but sort of can't bring myself to do it or can't say what I needed to any other way
    I guess I might be too close?

    I know it doesn't flow at all it jumps back and forwards and wanders off track, it is mostly because they were blog entries but again its how my brain works(worked).
    I never sat down to write any one entry on purpose (I wrote 90% of it at work in outlook)
    I would open a window and just sort of write.
  • Sounds amazing, JJ. Might be worth going back to do some editing in the future when you feel you can cope more with the content.
  • [quote=James Josiah] I have tried to rewrite bits but sort of can't bring myself to do it or can't say what I needed to any other way[/quote]

    I'm not sure that an actual rewrite is what is needed. Part of the fascination of the writing is because it's not always coherent and the reader feels immersed in streams of consciousness. BUT - it would benefit from a professional edit - even if it's just the basics like the punctuation.
    I hope you will be able to consider it at some stage in the future.
    In the meantime, good luck with it.
  • A compelling read, JJ.

    I think it will do well, regardless of editing. That sort of stream of consciousness writing, I suppose, is the only genre that can just about get away with those mistakes which reflect your state of mind at the time . . . that's not to say it could be even better with a little attention.

    I hope you found this a cleansing process. Once it's out of your brain and on paper, you must feel liberated. A line has been drawn under what has happened and you have a clean slate from which to move forward.

    The best of luck with it.
  • You don't need to rewrite it, JJ - it says exactly what you want it to say, cleanly and openly. A bit of editing - by someone else - would tidy up the bits of punctuation that have gone astray, and the occasional shift between 'he' and 'you' - that sort of thing, that doesn't alter anything that you've said, doesn't tart it up in different words other than your own honestly expressed ones, but could take it to another level.
    Well done. Everything you've written - I've done the Read Inside thing - shows how much you've grown and learned and unlearned along the way. That person is part of you, but only a part: what you add next is up to you, but I think it could be good.
  • Congratulations James J, I applaud your bravery. Writing this stuff down is a brave act of confronting your demons so from here on things can only get better.
  • Thank you all so much :)

    I'm proper choked up here.

    I shall look for someone impartial to have a scour over it and right the wrongs, I'm led to believe that an update book on kindle is free to replace?
    Wouldn't want to have to ask people to re-buy it because of my tardiness .
  • I do agree with these comments. I was really impressed by your writing style when I read your blog posts and I agree with what the others say, if you can somehow get an editor to work with you. Your writing deserves it, if you know what I mean. Some editors will do deals and I dunno - could you see if any live locally and offer to do their garden or something in exchange for the editing (I'm just tossing out ideas here)?

    Best of luck and stick at it.

    You could get it up on smashwords as well. Smashwords is easy if you've already managed Amazon and you can upload a new version of your book anytime you like.
  • [quote=Lou Treleaven]Might be worth going back to do some editing in the future[/quote]

    I was about to say the same as Lou - give yourself a few months and revisit when you're stronger.
    Well done, though - you're a brave chap.
    And your wife sounds amazing too - you are lucky to have a partner to whom you can show such soul-searching writing.
  • JJ. Haven't had a chance to read this yet but I take my hat off to you. Wish I had the same bravery.
  • Thank you all so much

    It is in the hands of a proofreader as we speak, so I will re-upload the altered version as soon as its done (I am told that people can refresh their copy foc)
  • Look forward to reading it, JJ!
  • I'm so glad you've made that decision, James. Please let us know when the new version is uploaded because I will certainly buy it.
  • edited January 2013
    I'm sure you'll feel a great relief from putting your emotions on paper. Very brave, and good luck with it.
  • 29th of January?
    Has it really been that long?

    It's been a hectic few months, the book has been proof read, updated, proof read and updated again
    I have had not one but two massive computer issues meaning I lost most (but not all) of the work I had done as well as all my login and password for sites such as this.

    so where were we?

    Ah yes the book, it is in the finest form it is ever going to be and up to date (as of yesterday) AND it's free until Sunday

    so fill your boots!



  • Hey! How you bin? Downloaded and dusted! Good luck with your promotion.
  • edited April 2013
    Hey pbw

    I've been ... busy, two new computers, new job, the flash project has really taken off. I can't really get over just how long it has been since I started this thread.

    So what have I missed?

    Oh and thank you, I would say "hope you enjoy it" but it's grim reading at times.
  • [quote=James Josiah]So what have I missed?[/quote]

    A gazebo.

    Good luck with promoting your book.
  • Thanks for the update, James. I'm having a few problems with Amazon, but will try later.

    Very best of luck with this.
  • Congratulations, James! Glad you stuck with it and got the updates sorted.
    Always back up your work so you don't lose anything in future (see my article in this months' Writing Mag!!!).
  • Thanks Lou,

    I now work using google drive it's free, easy and saves as you go along
  • Well done on the e-book. :)
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