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Opinion sought

edited June 2014 in Writing
I have a story which was to be included in my ready-to-go new collection. It's all been proof-read and edited, but both proofreaders have said they didn't understand it. No one else has read it. I summarised it to my husband and explained the psychology behind it and he said it made sense - but he hasn't read it. Maybe the psychological aspect isn't clear in the text and is just in my head...

Is there anyone who would be interested in reading it and giving an honest opinion as to why it doesn't work - or indeed, if it does?

Whisper your email address and I will send it as an attachment. It's 1700 words.

Thanks. I would appreciate any feedback.

Comments

  • I'm twiddling me thumbs at the mo if you'd like to send it to me?
  • That would be fab. On its way...
  • I've sent you a PM with my e-mail if you want another opinion. :)
  • Thanks, everyone!
  • I'll pm you TN
  • Having re-read it through several times more, I have now added a few more phrases to make clearer the MC's state of mind and also the crime that has taken place. I've sent you all the original version, but I think I have worked out what was wrong. It'll be interesting to see what you make of it!
  • I've emailed you, perhaps too late!
  • Thanks, all, for your input. Much as I love all you TBers, I won't request any further comments than those already offered as it might over-complicate things. I get easily confused!
  • Thanks, all, for your input. Much as I love all you TBers, I won't request any further comments than those already offered as it might over-complicate things. I get easily confused!
    Please yourself!

    [-(
  • I said: 'I won't request any further comments than those already offered' by which I mean I am happy to receive them from all those who have contacted me on this thread... just in case you thought I meant that I didn't want to hear from you. I do. If you are happy to give feedback, that is.

    Hope that's cleared that up. :-??
  • I am too late - again!

    "sobs"
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