September's Writing Magazine Ghost Story

Schumi

Schumi

Last night I read the winning story for the annual ghost story competition in this month's magazine. First of all, I didn't enjoy the story, but also, I became aware of something regarding the narrative. Here are two examples, but I want to make it clear that I am not making a personal criticism to the author of this story. It’s just my views and nothing more:

'I was actually so sure it was wrong that, already, I could feel myself calming down after the initial shock. I knew I was pregnant. Had known for months."

"He waited. Didn't rush me."

This is not the first time I have seen this sort of laziness creep into writing. A book I recently finished reading had similar sentences structured in the same way. Has it become unfashionable to put an 'I' or a 'he/she' at the start of the sentence? Cutting these simple but vital words from the language makes a piece of writing seem rushed and more akin to the contents of someone's notebook.

Viv

I have no real problem with it either. In many ways it brings a touch of intimacy to the writing, and makes it less formal, as if really talking to the reader. It reflects the way people actually talk and think.

Stan2

In conversation and in our thoughts, we don't insert pronouns all the time do we?

Hippo

I have to admit I do the same, ie miss out pronouns.  I agree with others above, I don't think it's a bad thing and can achieve a particular effect.

I thought it was quite a clever story, if a little disturbing.  It made me think, which is a good thing.

Lin

I usually love these competition winners, and aspire to be able to write as well as the winners usually do; I too was disappointed with this one.

Betsie

I don't have a problem with the lack of pronouns in this particular instance as the writer is 'inside the character's head' telling it how it was said.  Also I think we have to allow for the writer's 'voice' i.e. personal syntax. 

bookworm

i read the winning story twice . the first time i  thought it was rubbish but i read it again and hate to admit it is really good . it is just the way the character thinks and talks . i have now started on my own ghost story now .

we all talk differnt and writing is different .

sallyannie

I enjoyed it a great deal because it was such an original idea.
As for the lack of pronouns, I'm guilty of it too but it's in keeping with my writing style.

TaffetaPunk

It was original, and it's also a very nice idea - a phantom pregnancy with a real phantom.  I think it's beautiful.  I didn't think the story was scary, though, not in the least.  If it was supposed to be scary, it failed, because I thought it was nice.