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Inspired by this story - http://www.writers-online.co.uk/News/National_Crime_Writing_Week_-_WM_mini-comp_inspired_by_survey_on_how_to_murder_people/ - we're having a mini-competition. Post your most creative fictional murder method below...you bloodthirsty creative writers, you.
The editor will chose his favourite at the end of National Crime Writing Week and send them something random. The winner will be offered the opportunity (but won't be forced!) to write a short story involving the murder method, which we'll potentially publish on the website.
Have an inventive weekend.
Comments
I think I'm enjoying this too much!
One has been shaped to a deadly point and is used as the murder weapon, then it melts, so it can't be traced.
Once husband is asleep push him into pig pen where the inhabitants will consume the evidence.
It may be a good idea to take a walk whilst pigs are consuming hubby as they tend to be noisy when eating.
give someone poison birthday cake
throw them in a lake
bury them alive
warning there is bad language at the beginning of this song - tut tut!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFKUnfwBPTU
Keep em coming!
I wrote about this one in my English coursework last year. A bomb in a mobile phone. Once your've told the guy you're coming to kill him, hang up. Once he presses hang up... Boom! Giant hole in the head!
I got an A*. :-)
Thanks for that, stf - I needed to know (for my novel) what the current expression is for terminating a call on one's mobile phone. I presume you've got it right and this is legitimate street talk? If not and you made it up, please let me know.
[quote=carlradley]then it melts, so it can't be traced[/quote]
A variation on this, CarlR, was in a film I saw - ooh,must have been 40 years ago. It took the whole film for the guardians of the law to work out how the guy who died at the start of the first reel had been killed. He'd been shot with an ice bullet.
What about another phone method? Get message to local Mafia boss that your hubby is propositioning his attractive young wife.
They'll either die of boredom or shoot themselves to get out of it. Whatever. Job done.
It would take just long enough to get into the bloodstream so I would have had time to get out of the lift and disappear before the victim died.
... wondered where that was going for a minute Carol :) you saucy one, you ;)
"hides holiday photos up jumper"
Pick on someone with a severe allergy. Wait till they are asleep then place allergen as near as possible to them, and ensure that the epipen they carried has 'fallen' off the bedside table onto the floor and rolled under the bed - terrible shame! Go to bed after they have died and you have disposed of allergen in someone else's dustbin two or three streets away. Wake up next morning and discover their dead body. Distraught ring Police.
Inject air into the bloodstream of someone through a site where a skin break will not be noticed - under a toenail, for instance - or make it look as if one has had to take a blood sample. would be particularly good if they were in hospital and had already had a blood sample taken and had a cannula in! alternatively inject a strong soultion of liquid paracetamol - at least 12 tablet's worth (6g)
A bit harsh on the OAPs, I thought. :)
Someone takes a lift to the top floor. When it reaches the top, no one is inside... The floor of the lift swings open causing the victim to fall to his/her death. If that doesn't kill 'em the lift being called back to the ground floor will! If the lift isn't called and the victim only fell a few floors no one will find them and at the very least they will die from starvation!
I'll keep an eye out for you sneaking up on me now Lolli!
But just be careful they don't use their insulin against you in self defence (or was it self defence?) - it won't do non diabetics much good either.
You know your victim loves cooking, particularly crumbles, you switch one of hers for one of yours and just sit back and wait, hopefully they will think it was an accident.
Make it look like they tried to kill you. For example if you could control their car have they drive past you and off a bridge!
Then a distance away crash the plane in the sea and say they are missing.
There was nothing you could do. The cat is safe of course
chocolate chip cookies. Feed to victim then when he/ she dies from massive heart attack it will be put down to natural causes.
I was going to say wouldn't he notice how crunchy it was, then remembered my last attempt at mashing spuds, and thought better of it. :)
1. Wait till it's Winter and really cold and snowy.
2. Wait till night time. Make their cocoa. Let them drink it. (Context and setting looks better with the empty cup on the side table, next to the TV widger).
3. Shove their precious cat/dog out at night and tell the old skinflint that Moggie/Pooch has gone missing.
4. Go to the back door/patio doors with them to help them find the animal and then push them outside (DO NOT go outside yourself and leave footprints in the snow).
5. Lock the door.
6. Leave them to freeze to death and unlock the door before dawn.
7. Go back to bed, follow normal morning routine, and 'discover' them at daylight.
8. Ensure their medication for Alzheimer's is clearly on view somewhere.
His? Anyone in the frame PBW?
I think the trick is to get the powdered glass down to a really fine grain - as in powder. That way it is less likely to be obvious when you eat it and more devastating to the intestines. I dunno...serve it with jug loads of gravy, crispy sausages, meat, yorkshire puds...whatever detracts from the potato itself.
Not anymore. He divorced me for being 'old and frumpy', so it's too late now. Still.... (as Shrek would say)
Make sure you don't!