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Leave Bulwer-Lytton alone!
It's time someone spoke out against the condemnation directed at Bulwer-Lytton because of the beginning of one of his novels - the infamous "It was a dark and stormy night etc." What's so wrong with it? Agreed, it would be better if the darkness and storminess were conveyed rather than stated baldly but there must be more inept beginnings. Let's stop pouring scorn on poor old Edward.
I've come across a worse example. Here are the opening lines of "Dead Certain", by Damian Flowers:
"Inspector Craddock surveyed the body as it lay among the wedding debris, a smug grin on his face. He already knew the murderer was Agnes de Quincey, thanks to the silken name-tag clutched in the fingers of the dead groom. All he had to do now was prove it by interviewing 349 witnesses.
"'Well, here goes,' he muttered."
Comments
First you have to find what is right with it. And the answer to that is that there is nothing right with it. Its is wrong on every level. Bad writing is bad writing, no disguising it.
But he did give us the Bulwer-Lytton award, so it's not all bad.
So you are saying you have found a worse example of first lines. Implying that bad first lines are to be avoided and scorned. So why should we stop scorning those of Bulwer-Lytton? You make NO SENSE.
But some are darker than others, and in the summer it can be light till about 10 o'clock. The "infamous" opening suggests to me an autumn or winter night with moonlight and starlight blotted out by dark clouds. That possibly suggests that Bulwer-Lytton achieved what he set out to achieve (assuming I'm interpreting it correctly!) but I would still have tried to convey it differently.
As he was writing in the middle of the 19th century, when a lot of our current rules didn't apply, the criticism is actually taking something out of its natural context.
Does anyone know what the story went on to say, or does no-one bother to go any further? Was the rest of it as bad as the beginning is held to be?
But it is a good, handily succinct demonstration of how not to start your book nowadays, so probably likely to remain as a example.
I'm going to have to try and find the book and read the rest of the opening. Those few words aren't really enough to go on.
This makes no sense, either. What's more, I didn't say there was nothing wrong with it - in fact, I make that clear - just that it isn't as bad as all that.
I'm disappointed that none of you have written about Damian's example. Is it better? Never mind. I made him up.
The toilet light was dim,
Oh gosh! I heard a splash.
She'd fallen in.
(Found this written in my long-departed Gran's autograph book) Just sayin'. Teehee.
I suppose the dark and stormy night phrase became a clich