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Leave Bulwer-Lytton alone!

edited January 2013 in Writing
It's time someone spoke out against the condemnation directed at Bulwer-Lytton because of the beginning of one of his novels - the infamous "It was a dark and stormy night etc." What's so wrong with it? Agreed, it would be better if the darkness and storminess were conveyed rather than stated baldly but there must be more inept beginnings. Let's stop pouring scorn on poor old Edward.

I've come across a worse example. Here are the opening lines of "Dead Certain", by Damian Flowers:

"Inspector Craddock surveyed the body as it lay among the wedding debris, a smug grin on his face. He already knew the murderer was Agnes de Quincey, thanks to the silken name-tag clutched in the fingers of the dead groom. All he had to do now was prove it by interviewing 349 witnesses.

"'Well, here goes,' he muttered."

Comments

  • [quote=Lah-tay]What's so wrong with it?[/quote]

    First you have to find what is right with it. And the answer to that is that there is nothing right with it. Its is wrong on every level. Bad writing is bad writing, no disguising it.

    But he did give us the Bulwer-Lytton award, so it's not all bad.
  • Your argument is woolly. In fact you aren't arguing anything at all - you say your example is 'worse'. That means the Bulwer-Lytton example is bad. You said it yourself.

    So you are saying you have found a worse example of first lines. Implying that bad first lines are to be avoided and scorned. So why should we stop scorning those of Bulwer-Lytton? You make NO SENSE.
  • "It was a dark and stormy night " doesn't seem that terrible to me. It's not a fantastic opening, but I don't understand why it's often claimed to be the worst ever.
  • It's because all nights are dark, that's the main reason for the condemnation I think. It's like saying t'he snow was white'.
  • edited January 2013
    *edited as irrelevant.*
  • [quote=Liz]It's because all nights are dark, that's the main reason for the condemnation I think.[/quote]

    But some are darker than others, and in the summer it can be light till about 10 o'clock. The "infamous" opening suggests to me an autumn or winter night with moonlight and starlight blotted out by dark clouds. That possibly suggests that Bulwer-Lytton achieved what he set out to achieve (assuming I'm interpreting it correctly!) but I would still have tried to convey it differently.
  • Bulwer Lytton also coined the phrases, 'The pen is mightier than the sword' and 'the great unwashed' - just thought you might not know that.
    As he was writing in the middle of the 19th century, when a lot of our current rules didn't apply, the criticism is actually taking something out of its natural context.
    Does anyone know what the story went on to say, or does no-one bother to go any further? Was the rest of it as bad as the beginning is held to be?
  • No idea, mea culpa! However, as the very opening sentence, although it does convey darkness and storminess, it's not really an attention grabber is it? But you're right, in those days they tended to meander on for 15 pages before they got to the action.

    But it is a good, handily succinct demonstration of how not to start your book nowadays, so probably likely to remain as a example.
  • [quote=Liz]It's because all nights are dark[/quote] You never been out at full moon? Or where there are street lights?
  • Oh yes. But then you'd have a description, wouldn't you? It was so dark that it was impossible to recognise anything by street-lamp before it was swallowed by the mouth of the wind.
  • You could describe the level of darkness, but I'm not sure that would be any more attention grabbing. Dark and stormy shows it's not nice to be out in - maybe that's enough.

    I'm going to have to try and find the book and read the rest of the opening. Those few words aren't really enough to go on.
  • I downloaded it from Gutenberg Project a few minutes ago. As you read on the opening becomes quite interesting. I guess I am going to get much further with Paul Clifford than I did with my recent attempt to read Wilkie Collins's Moonstone
  • Oooh. I loved the Moonstone!
  • I recently read The Moonstone and The Woman in White for the first time and really enjoyed them. The characterisation of the chief villain in the latter was very good. I'm now looking for a copy of Lorna Doone, as I last read that so many years ago that I can't remember a single thing about it.
  • [quote=Liz]So you are saying you have found a worse example of first lines. Implying that bad first lines are to be avoided and scorned. So why should we stop scorning those of Bulwer-Lytton? You make NO SENSE. [/quote]

    This makes no sense, either. What's more, I didn't say there was nothing wrong with it - in fact, I make that clear - just that it isn't as bad as all that.

    I'm disappointed that none of you have written about Damian's example. Is it better? Never mind. I made him up.
  • Ha ha! I quite liked it!
  • The night was dark and stormy,
    The toilet light was dim,
    Oh gosh! I heard a splash.
    She'd fallen in.


    (Found this written in my long-departed Gran's autograph book) Just sayin'. Teehee.
  • I'm reading Paul Clifford (EBL's much-derided novel.) It's an overwritten indulgence in every literary lapse known to civilisation. But it's fascinatingly readable and I'm enjoying it!
  • IG- :D

    I suppose the dark and stormy night phrase became a clich
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