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More Ramblings on Another Wet Day

edited March 2013 in - Writing Tales
I was wondering if anyone on Talkback has ever used their writing to gain revenge on anyone. I'm thinking mainly of basing an unlikeable character, for instance, on a real person. You wouldn't dare use his or her name, of course, no matter how true the representation was but it's fun to use an anagram. I did this once to someone at a publisher's because of the way she handled - or rather, didn't handle - my submission. Luckily, she had a name that leant itself to anagramatising and I applied it to an unpleasant character in my next novel.

Some writers say they find dialogue difficult. If you watch any soap operas, you'll have noticed how prone they are to standard pieces of dialogue that crop up again and again. I sometimes think it should be possible to write an entire script consisting of nothing but soap cliches: "The only person you care about is yourself"; "Why wouldn't I be?"; "That was a one-off: it can never happen again"; "It just happened"; "We can talk about this", etc. Some of these sayings are ones that people never actually use in real life. I'm a big Coronation Street fan but it isn't the worst offender.

Apparently, publishers and literary agents have an aversion to cliches in the submissions they receive but, if writers manage to avoid them and all the other literary sins, how, in addition, can they grab attention? I was wondering, too, if anyone on T.B. had ever used tricks to stand out in the submissions pile. I've read of people who, incredibly, will enclose a Kit-Kat, for example! Mind you, I once tried something that some people might regard as equally ridiculous. Apart from trying humour (a dangerous one, that), I once pretended to be my own P.A. After devising an authentic-looking letter heading, I wrote a covering letter saying I was sending the submission on behalf of my boss, who was away on business. The idea was to stand out from the rest by being different. They probably saw through it. I know better now.

(Don't worry about what you say being read by agents or publishers: I'm sure they're far too busy helping their clients and going through our submissions to read a writers' forum.)

Comments

  • [quote=Lah-tay]consisting of nothing but soap cliches[/quote]

    "Woss gaaaaiiiin on"

    I sent a script to the BBC and it didn't make the grade. Fine, they get a lot of submissions, and first time out with a script I wasn't expecting much, however, the standard reply was going on (gaaaain on) about looking for originality, fresh voices etc. but really, have they listened to some of the 'new voices' plays 'comedy' they churn out lately?
  • [quote=Lah-tay]If you watch any soap operas, you'll have noticed how prone they are to standard pieces of dialogue that crop up again and again.[/quote]

    When I was first married I did a degree by evening class. During the holidays I was sitting in the living room reading one of my course books while my wife watched Brookside. After a while I asked "Why does every sentence in this programme end with the words 'It's doin' me 'ead in'?" She hadn't noticed till I pointed it out. Once I'd brought it to her attention she found it so irritating she stopped watching.
  • Corrie seem to like sentences with variations of

    "rubbing your nose in it"

    Can't think why.


    [quote=Lah-tay]I was wondering if anyone on Talkback has ever used their writing to gain revenge on anyone.[/quote]

    Writers do it all the time. I've even seen a story by one Talkbacker about another Talkbacker, made up a story based on someone they didn't get on with on Talkback. Thankfully, that writer doesn't share their thoughts on TB anymore. Praise be.
  • [quote=Onlinegenie]while my wife watched Brookside. After a while I asked "Why does every sentence in this programme end with the words 'It's doin' me 'ead in'?"[/quote]

    We used to watch Brookside as well, and that line was used a heck of a lot. Eastenders is another culprit for this. I've lost count of the number of times that the character Phil Mitchell has said, "Sorted!" or "Leave it out!"
  • [quote=dora]Writers do it all the time. I've even seen a story by one Talkbacker about another Talkbacker, made up a story based on someone they didn't get on with on Talkback. Thankfully, that writer doesn't share their thoughts on TB anymore. Praise be.[/quote]

    I suppose we all draw inspiration from different sources.
  • [quote=Lah-tay]I was wondering if anyone on Talkback has ever used their writing to gain revenge on anyone.[/quote]
    Authors have been doing it forever, J K Rowling confessed to doing it. It's not new.
    Said by Geoffrey Chaucer as played in the film A Knights Tale: "I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity."
  • [quote=SilverLinings]"I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity."[/quote]

    I love that, SL.

    I might have a tattoo.
  • [quote=Tiny Nell]I might have a tattoo. [/quote]
    No, No, Nell - they call them 'ta'oos' now. You really must keep up with the soap-speak!

    In his article, the man Archer says he's used people he knows as the basis for characters. Yes, I did read it (mostly). I don't dislike anyone enough to subject them to my novelising.
  • [quote=Lah-tay]I was wondering if anyone on Talkback has ever used their writing to gain revenge on anyone.[/quote]

    Not..exactly. But kind of. In things I've written I have often written despicable characters/unlikeable/dangerous characters and found that their habits, manners etc are similar to people I have known and have been unlikeable/dangerour/bullying. Sometimes I don't even do it on purpose! It just kind of slips out that way and I think it can be cathartic to give unpleasant people their comeuppance, even if it's only in fiction.
  • Little Nell: I might have a tattoo.

    I have heard they are addictive, have one and you will want another!
    I was recently sitting in a hospital waiting room with my husband, there were two men opposite, their faces were tattooed with only a small amount of untattood (if that is the right word) skin around the eyes. If they were after attention they were certainly getting it.
  • Must make a list of people I think deserve to suffer "Writers Revenge".
    Starting with my first mother-in-law.
    HA!
  • [quote=Lah-tay]I was wondering if anyone on Talkback has ever used their writing to gain revenge on anyone.[/quote]

    Lots of writers do it. Particularly repulsive people get their just desserts. I've only ever turned situations into stories; never people into characters. I had a story accepted earlier this week based on a rather vile bunch of people who did what humans do very well: they prejudged. And prejudice is one of my pet hates, so it will always find a way into my writing.

    [quote=Lah-tay]Apparently, publishers and literary agents have an aversion to cliches in the submissions they receive but, if writers manage to avoid them and all the other literary sins, how, in addition, can they grab attention?[/quote]

    That's easy. Write a story that blows everyone else out the water. If you have the talent, then let it speak volumes.
  • pbwpbw
    edited March 2013
    [quote=Lah-tay]Talkback has ever used their writing to gain revenge on anyone[/quote]

    Surely not?

    Brilliant, brilliant post,Lah-tay. Most writing advice books I have read say it's a Very BAD IDEA to enclose extra items with your submission. Another quirk that brings agents out in allergic reactions, I've read, is presenting your manuscript written in green ink. Apparently it's not unknown. There seems to be a fine line between "quirky" and "nutter".
  • [quote=B Darter] their faces were tattooed with only a small amount of untattood (if that is the right word) skin around the eyes[/quote]
    Pandas in reverse. How gruesome, to go through life looking like you're an oil worker whose just taken off your goggles and not bothered to shower.
  • [quote=pbw]There seems to be a fine line between "quirky" and "nutter".[/quote]

    *worries*
  • [quote=pbw]B Darter wrote: their faces were tattooed with only a small amount of untattood (if that is the right word) skin around the eyes Pandas in reverse. How gruesome, to go through life looking like you're an oil worker whose just taken off your goggles and not bothered to shower.[/quote]

    That is a brilliant description for someone who is 98% tatooed.
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