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Ghost writer?

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  • Demisexual?

    Now I am one all for sex and its derivatives, but never have I seen or heard 'demi' used in context with sex. Construed properly, that would mean half sexual or of inferior sexual quality (my interpretation). I am not so old, but am I so far behind current trends that I have missed a new genre of sexuality?

    Lydia, I hope you can help me with this.
  • Never fails to amaze me, the quality of the advice this forum.
    But what's the point if it falls on deaf ears?

    I was hoping that was the subtext.
  • "Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity."
  • Demisexual just means someone who is attracted to another from a romantic attachment. Well documented. Just listening to Alanis Morisette. Her line, 'what I need now is intellectual intercourse...'(isn't it ironic..?).

    To know there are women out there with such depth of emotions. To be able to link up with such women who are living authentic lives. Those are the ones I wish to emulate. Wonder if they ever read their fans' messages... or whether those words fall on deaf ears too?
  • Is this demisexuality a same sex or opposite sex romantic attachment?

    Personally I've never dabbled in the intellectual side of intercourse :)
  • *Recollects lewd but appropriate response to C2*

    *bites typing finger just in time*
  • I don't know what an authentic life is.
  • You think these women are living a more real life with a far superior depth of emotion than any other?

    Utter crap.

  • I don't know what an authentic life is.
    It's just a silly soundbite. 'Authentic' means real or genuine and not counterfeit. Life is life. You are either alive or dead, so a counterfeit life is impossible. Ergo: we all lead 'authentic' lives.
  • It sounds more like something you'd find in literary fiction.
  • Oh. So just life then. That's what I suspected.
  • Demi Moore is very Demisexual. Just thought I'd add something intellectual into the mix.
  • edited November 2016
    (May have written this about 5 hours ago and forgot to hit 'post comment' *coughs*)


    Are you still writing your first draft? And haven't written 'the end' yet? If so, I wouldn't worry about anything else about from writing and finishing just yet.

    After that I'd worry and focus on research once you are at the editing stage - when you have a full first draft.

    Lots of people don't have any knowledge of relationships or connection but still write about them. And IMO (and experience) you can only learn writing skills and techniques from reading, listening (or NOT listening) to advice, getting your work critiqued and just experimenting yourself.

    Personally, I have never been in a relationship and struggle with social-anxiety, yet I've written characters who are in relationships (one of them even has anxiety issues). I have no experience of any of it myself but it fits both the story and the character/s.
    And I do worry that what I write isn't 'authentic' because of that lack of experience but I get others to read it for me once I've finished writing.

    Dwelling and overthinking just stops you actually putting words to paper.

  • Dwelling and overthinking just stops you actually putting words to paper.
    I agree. Get the first draft written, put it away for a little while as you work on something else, then go back and see what works and what doesn't.
  • Or spend your entire time dodging the actual writing and creating while you intellectualise the whys and wherefores of going this way or that. It sounds to me as though you're not committed to your novel, your characters or your plot, and without those, you will not progress.
  • Well, after reading your advice I contacted the fiverr seller to see how the land lies. After reading a sample from her, I decided it was so badly written that it wasn't worth pursuing.

    Thus I have sent PaigeElizabethTurner my draft to get her opinion of this, and I also intend to send some scenes off to the assessment service on this website.

    So I have listened to your advice and, after investigation, found that it was sound. So once I get the assessments back, I will be able to tell how to proceed with things.. in the meantime, yes, I should get on with things, and try to complete the draft so that I can edit it from that point onwards. Thank you again for all your inputs and advice. It has given me the proper context once more. Just a bit of insecurity at my own worth as a possible writer...
  • We're all insecure, it goes with the territory!
  • edited November 2016
    And indeed Lydia is a woman of her word.

    I have received the draft and will do what I can in my small way to assist a fellow writer. Yes, we all have insecurities, and sometimes we MIGHT be able to use those to our advantage if we can put them to paper for the right readership. I certainly have mine. I guess we all learn to live with them.
  • Waiting now for PaigeElizabethTurner's assessment. After careful consideration, I think I should adapt my writing towards that of someone like Martina Cole. She's from my background, so I understand the characters more. And relate more easily to the situations they are struggling with, which are similar to my characters' circumstances.

    Feel I have more elaborate, complex language than what she uses in her books, which might confuse that readership. So, if I am to reach out to an target group who might more readily understand the tales and themes that I am wishing to portray, then I am going to have to sacrifice some very good sentences, and even some of the related themes, because judging from the books of Martina Cole that I have read, the readers of her books don't have such a sophisticated understanding on life, as I am trying to endow my characters' with, just as I cannot embrace the more refined, sophisticated language of say a Lionel Shriver, whose books delve into the darker recesses in life that I was wishing to explore.

    Realising that I don't have the necessary framework for that audience so, assessing the situation more accurately now, I think modifying my language and themes to suit a grouping more in line with my background, which is all I know, might prove more successful in my overall plan at attempts for a career as a writer..???
  • "judging from the books of Martina Cole that I have read, the readers of her books don't have such a sophisticated understanding on life"

    How on earth have you reached that conclusion?
  • I am not too sure if 'complex language' would win over the casual reader. For literary or non-fiction, yes, but general paperbacks? Hmm.

    Who was it that said, something to the effect of: 'if a simple word will fit, use it'?
  • Never make assumptions about potential readers, they are invariably wrong.
  • If I may make a suggestion, Lydia?

    I notice that you write incredibly long sentences here on the forum. They don't always translate well into fiction, and can be quite confusing. It may be a useful exercise to try to vary sentence lengths and to try not to over-elaborate if something can be said more simply. That's one of the arts to engaging a reader.
  • I think I just bit through my tongue...



  • I notice that you write incredibly long sentences . . .
    Ah, yes. I remember in Frank McCourt's 'Angela's Ashes' one sentence careered on for a whole page and into the next; I couldn't fathom when it might stop, so it gave me an idea to try that within my own writing, but I don't think I ever really got the grasp of it so I've just settled back into my own peculiar way of expressing myself both in fiction and personal letters, and even in shopping lists where I tend to gabble on a bit -- oh that's what I'm doing now! Sorry!!
    :\">
  • I think the best thing to do is to get the first 9000 words assessed using the service on this website. Once I have a proper evaluation I can then analyse which direction to go in after that.

    Being in the dark as to my skill at story telling and as to whether I have the imagination to infuse the subtext to life and relationships, I cannot make a proper judgement until I have an expert's eye on these factors. So that's what I should do before making any big decisions about my idea.
  • Good plan, Lydia 1960.
  • Excellent plan.
  • Seems like a positive move, Lydia. I'm sure many of us would be eager to learn of your findings and whether a professional view gives you the impetus to keep forging ahead as an 'authentic' writer! All the best.
  • Just an additional question. Thinking that, to spice up the plot, to make it more saleable, I should include sexual references to make it more realistic and in line with real life. Rather than some sort of fairy tale where no one mentions these things? Also, if that be the case, it might be better, with this story line, to aim it at the straight community, because I believe it would read better to them, predominantly women one assumes..? So maybe, indeed, I would be sort of in Martina Cole territory? It's where the sales are too, if you can 'pull it off...?'.
  • As an aspiring sex goddess, I can easily advise that 'sexual references' do not make a book saleable -- the story does. Well-written sex is not about descriptive interaction, but the innuendo and suspense of what MIGHT happen that draws a reader in. Granted, E.L. James sold heaps with her descriptive sex, but she is not exactly recognised as a 'good' writer. (My impression from media reports).

    I think at this stage, Lydia, wait until you receive the assessment and THEN you will be in a better position to determine the direction of your novel.
  • I get what you are saying, and believe that my story has emotional depth to it, so the odd graphic reference to sex or hints at that, would be within that context. Bit more acceptable with that premise, to illustrate the difference between one character and another, and to give a context, too, of the background of that character and why he is motivated to do this, with the proviso of the 'transformational arc' and the twist in his personality towards redeeming this. Not acceptable..?

    That word I used, earlier. Demisexual. The idea of needing a romantic attachment before a sexual reference can be gained, is the intention of the three characters involved in the love triangle. That's the premise within which the sexual references would be based. The contrast between the one motivated by sex, and those motivated by an emotional need. The idea of 'longing for someone who longs for me..'..
  • Not every plot, every book requires a sex scene. You mentioned Clare Lydon. Her books do contain sex scenes, graphic lesbian sex scenes. If the plot demands it you have to include it. If your novel isn't about that kind of relationship then don't. You don't add elements just to tick a box.
  • The impression I'm getting is that you haven't got your characters or plot fixed in your mind. You're manipulating paper cut-outs on a paper stage to fit what you think someone else would prefer. You want to shoe-horn in things that may not naturally belong there, just to satisfy a particular audience, but what about the story that you want to tell?

    As ever, you're over-thinking the peripherals without actually doing the writing.

    Characters have their own voice. To some extent they tell you where they need to go, or what they need to do. That means they have taken on life. Paper cut-outs don't have that life - they are inanimate, and will appear so on the page.

    Sexual references fit where they fit; they are not globally necessary.

    'Once I have a proper evaluation I can then analyse which direction to go in after that.' - you decide this, then immediately go back to over-analysing again, with no new information upon which to base your findings. You haven't even sent the 9k off yet. Let us know when you have the results.
  • Not quite sure graphic sex would be needed. Just the occasional hint at it to illustrate reality. And to compare one characters POV to the others. To set the contrast.

    Am going to send those pages off today for assessment and have been informed I can send the synopsis with it to indicate the overall plot. Just felt this might be an additional ingredient to give it the appearance of actual, real life, without overdoing it. A character whose persona is directed to the physical act, watching and observing the other three characters and their attempts at emotional bonding, and realising that his experience is the lesser one, due to influences in his past, and his awakening to this need too...
  • Good - send them off now!
  • *goes for a lie-down*
  • Don't feel disheartened if the edits are full of red pen. In fact, the more the better! If you ever receive feedback and it says "perfect, don't change a thing!" (especially on a first draft), then bin it and ask for someone else's feedback. Critiques should be littered with red pen - mistakes, corrections, opinions, questions, praise, confusion. It's a long process, not a "correct these two sentences and you're done" - expect a lot of back and forth.
  • Am ready and prepared for that. What I desperately need IS that feedback so that I can more accurately make decisions on which direction I ought to take my story to wring its fullest potential... believe I am getting a more concrete image in my mind now..
  • Lydia - writing should be fun - I did a bit today and thoroughly entertained myself.

    Even when it's hard work it's still enjoyable.

    if you're not enjoying it and constantly fretting and worrying then you probably shouldn't do it. There's enough to fret and worry about in the real world - writing is supposed to be escapism and fun if it's not then perhaps you need to take it less seriously.
  • Just being overstimulated by things in my environment that aren't stimulating to me. Trying to calm my nerves so I can function better..
  • 'Over' stimulated, by things that 'aren't' stimulating?

    If there's one thing you do on this forum, Lydia, is make us think. THAT is a doozy!!
  • Sensory defensive. Can't cope with noise, moving images..
  • Just wondering about my pen name. LH Thorn. Thinking it might be too negative? The logo too. Of thorns?

    Is it too late to change my name to a more positive one? Considering it is romance I wish to write about, albeit with the addition of hints at life's true nature.. better to emphasise the pleasant fragrances than the thorns...? To concentrate on being upbeat than negative? Especially with the demisexual aspects I wish to explore in my writings...?
  • Honestly...NONE of this matters! Write the book, it's as 'simple' as that.
  • But people are drawn to a writer's name. And that's why you have logos. To attract people to your brand. If it is contradictory to what your writing is about, it will put potential readers off. Would changing my pen name, logo, now before my book is launched and I have established a following, be okay?
  • I hate being negative, but please stop asking for advice then telling people they are wrong. People are not bloody drawn to a name. If you're called Fecky McDanglybollocks then maybe someone won't buy your childrens book...but other than that it doesn't matter. Writers don't have logos! They have books.

    I don't think of kings when I read Stephen King, I don't think Rowling can't write serious books because she's rolling down a hill, I don't think I'll be reading royalty porn when I read a Dick King Smith.

    You are concentrating on the useless stuff.

    Like when beginner writers panic about front covers and final formatting before they send to a publisher...all stuff out of their hands!

    I'm serious, you're never going to get anywhere if you don't stop concentrating on useless details! I'll bet anything on it, positive attitude or life experiences you quote otherwise!!!

    Two or three people are going to agree with me, and then you're going to say "oh, I see" as you always do, say you agree and then in two days ask another random question!
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