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Deleted

edited January 2017 in Writing
Deleted: Posting deemed offensive. Apologies to those so offended.

Characters stories often take their own twist; some might be philosophical, others filled with love and romance; and still others might exhibit a bit of a chip on the shoulder from past experiences. Characters speak with their own voice that is not necessarily the voice of the writer, yet the writer must be held accountable for all that their characters do and say. A writer rarely sets out to upset or dismay readers, yet that might often be a consequence of broaching sensitive subjects. My thought prior to posting the deleted excerpt was that some readers might have identified in being oggled in such a manner. It appears not. Again, my apologies.
P.

Comments

  • As a hairy-assed guy, I hate it when women objectify me...
  • What are you doing here already :-))
  • Is this character young say early twenties and inexperienced Pet?

  • Also, is she supposed to be a bit of a bitch? All that complaining about men, then she implies that all housewives are obese...seems a bit hypocritical.
  • edited January 2017
    Also, from a man's POV - if we're looking at boobs, we're looking at boobs. We'd still look at the "obese" housewives on the topless beach.
  • edited January 2017
    Many obese topless women on beaches aren't necessarily housewives

    Tbh when I saw the title of this thread thought we might have had another opportunity to discuss incontinence pants
  • I'd have said the character was objectifying herself; she differentiates between her ogle-worthy looks and those of everyone else - ie (in her words) the horde of obese housewives. She hates the once-over, but associates it with being deserving of the attention. Confusing or confused?
  • Oh dear Mrs Bear

    Was it something you said?
  • Oi, what you deleting for?! A good writer kicks about until it's ready, gives it a damn good hiding! Get on with it, slacker.
  • PET obviously thought better of it, whatever it was.

    I would like to stress that I've only had academic interest in boobs, obese or otherwise, since my Hormone treatment.

    Does that contribute to the discussion?

    ;))
  • Confusing or confused?
    Totally! I obviously missed the original post!
  • Ditto, but as this is TB the post will probably run and run.

    For the record, i have gone off men, so snail has nothing to fear.
  • No fear of being 'oggled' then Lizy?


    How about being boggled then? Fancy that instead?
  • It doesn't matter if they do or not, PET! This is your character! They can think what they want. Any comments I made were just made to check that was your intention - screw what anyone else thinks, it's your story!
  • I didn't think it offensive - I thought the character was confusing. Doesn't mean she can't be confusing, though; characters are allowed to be less than perfect.
  • Ah. Now we have a semblance of an original post, i see that my own contribution was more apposite than i intended.

  • For the record, i have gone off men, so snail has nothing to fear.
    Good news for me on an otherwise gloomy day

    I respect your decision and realise that it would be churlish of me to suggest that chance might be a fine thing.

  • Like Mrs Bear, it was confusing, not offensive. :)
  • Thanks to all for the comments and encouragement. I think this serves as a classic illustration, both to myself and other readers, that what we see and write from our head is not necessarily received in that way. I have previously alluded to my use of sarcasm, and again, it is borne out that we (I) must be acutely aware of how our readers will react to certain scenes.

    For me, nothing is lost. The whole writing experience is a learning exercise. Just look at the amount of effort Lydia1960, for instance, puts into achieving her ambitions. What I have learnt from this simple 'contentious' post, is that not only did the subject paragraph ring alarm bells, so did the context of the novel in its entirety.

    While none of us 'fully' trash our work, I have just flushed 70,000 words into Bill's recycling bin. Sure, I'll pull out a few gems and a couple of scraps, but I feel gratified that views expressed in this particular thread have made me take a more objective look at my work.

    Now I will go for an emotional hit of the Jaffa Cakes!!
  • Got to remember that when you post something on a writing forum, it's ALWAYS going to get picked to pieces. Doesn't matter how good it is. Seriously, pick your favourite sentence, paragraph, or chapter from a book - something you think is PERFECT and post it here. Guaranteed one of us will be able to pick it to bits...according to our opinions.
  • Last night at the editing workshop, one of the writers commented, that when a friend read through her manuscript she highlighted a number of issues.

    Basically what was in her head had not completely made it to the page, although she thought it had...

    We also agreed never get rid of it all, but bung it into another file for later. :)
  • In the same way that a camel is a horse designed by a committee, so a piece of writing will be turned into something other by every reader who sees it.

    One of the things writers often forget is that you are the only person who will ever hear your work in your voice, the way you intended it to be heard. Every single reader does a voice-over, in effect, and you cannot possibly cater for all of them. Do it your way, and to the best that you possibly can, and that's all that you can hope to do.
    It's in part why it's so hard to put your work out there: it will never be only yours again.

    There are times when we need someone else to hold up a light to our work, because we have become too close to it. Doesn't mean you have to ditch the lot, or that you've got it all wrong; you may only need to re-work a couple of lines or paras to change the whole tone of the piece.

    Nothing written is ever wasted: and as someone once said, every day's a school day.
  • edited January 2017
    No! Don't bin anything, PET.

    If your writing has created opinions, that's good. What would be awful is if everyone was in agreement that it was bland.
  • And at the end if the day, they are only other peoples opinions which, if youhave any sense, you willbe selective about those you pay attention to and those you do not
  • In a small way i experience what Mrs Bear describes every week, through the variety of comments on my blog. Every reader sees something different, and often not what i had intended.
    PET, sarcasm is very difficult to convey in writing.
  • PET, sarcasm is very difficult to convey in writing.
    That! might be the truest word you've said on here, and I'm not being sarcastic. In face-to-face reality, one understands another. Facial expressions and mannerisms generally telegraph one's intentions, or true meanings behind their words. And of course some will will easily grasp underlying meanings, whereas others won't. I save this as part of my forum learning experience!!

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