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Christmas "trying not to patronise" thread
I am not sure how this will come across to people. Probably mixed reactions - as we know it's often difficult to portray what we really intend on a forum. I am writing on the "writing problems" category, as I am having a problem writing at the moment and I wanted to acknowledge that and to also acknowledge that I am sure there are many others feeling the same, but perhaps not wanting to voice their thoughts.
It's Christmas, and usually at this time of year I am well into the festive spirit with shopping like crazy, making sure I have all the foodstuffs that I know won't even be eaten, but have to have because its Christmas, playing carols and singing with the kids etc. etc. I have to admit that I can hardly believe that it is 2 days before Christmas and I haven''t even put up the tree this year. I have presents not wrapped and every advert on the TV for the "magical" day leaves me feeling more useless and unworthy of my family and friends. "Do what YOU want to do- not what you think you should do" they keep telling me. What do I want to do ?
I do not wish to be patronising and I am not looking for sympathy. I am also hoping that I am not spoiling others preparations and excitement.
Just expressing what I am feeling at the moment in the hope that it may help someone else who possibly feels the same.
I will be at the carol service tomorrow night at church, I will be opening presents with everyone on Christmas day, and no doubt I will be playing charades. But it will be an "unreal" experience.
Why? I don't know. Am I just a miserable old grouch who needs to "pull herself together" ? I am trying to, though not very successfully. There are many, many people with many, many more problems than me. Am I just selfish and self centred ? Probably.
(5 years ago I went and volunteered at "Crisis Christmas" in the shelters in London, sleeping on someones settee and realising that a lot of other volunteers, though doing a vital job for the people using the services, were also doing a bit of self therapy . I couldn't do that over the last few years for numerous reasons.)
Despite this doom and gloom I am writing, I do wish everyone an enjoyable and peaceful Christmas. I hope that the real reason for the season shines through for whatever reason you celebrate !
With love and best wishes, to all
Lexia x
It's Christmas, and usually at this time of year I am well into the festive spirit with shopping like crazy, making sure I have all the foodstuffs that I know won't even be eaten, but have to have because its Christmas, playing carols and singing with the kids etc. etc. I have to admit that I can hardly believe that it is 2 days before Christmas and I haven''t even put up the tree this year. I have presents not wrapped and every advert on the TV for the "magical" day leaves me feeling more useless and unworthy of my family and friends. "Do what YOU want to do- not what you think you should do" they keep telling me. What do I want to do ?
I do not wish to be patronising and I am not looking for sympathy. I am also hoping that I am not spoiling others preparations and excitement.
Just expressing what I am feeling at the moment in the hope that it may help someone else who possibly feels the same.
I will be at the carol service tomorrow night at church, I will be opening presents with everyone on Christmas day, and no doubt I will be playing charades. But it will be an "unreal" experience.
Why? I don't know. Am I just a miserable old grouch who needs to "pull herself together" ? I am trying to, though not very successfully. There are many, many people with many, many more problems than me. Am I just selfish and self centred ? Probably.
(5 years ago I went and volunteered at "Crisis Christmas" in the shelters in London, sleeping on someones settee and realising that a lot of other volunteers, though doing a vital job for the people using the services, were also doing a bit of self therapy . I couldn't do that over the last few years for numerous reasons.)
Despite this doom and gloom I am writing, I do wish everyone an enjoyable and peaceful Christmas. I hope that the real reason for the season shines through for whatever reason you celebrate !
With love and best wishes, to all
Lexia x
Comments
I'm not making light, here, Lexia - I speak as one who knows.
I've done Crisis too in the past - an "interesting" experience to say the least! Was at the main shelter 5 years ago so may have bumped into you! :-)
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((llexia))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I wish you peace, on Christmas Day and every other day.
I may find it all reads very depressingly, but as I normally write up-beat articles, it will be interesting to see what happens.
I'm not making light of our lack of Christmas spirit, but writing it down often helps.
Go with what you want to do- it doesn't matter if the tree isn't up- it is just a symbol.
Just do what you want.
The real important thing is being together and knowing how much you care for each other.
Big hug (((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Take care, try to do things you enjoy, let others do the decorations, etc, if that's what they feel like doing.
(and you have managed to make the tears roll down my face even more...but with a little smile behind them now !) ;)
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{x Lexia x}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
(posh one this time)
I have sent cards to friends, bought a few pressies. Quite honestly, I'll be glad when it's over and the family get out of the house - back to work/school, whatever.
I usually enjoy the magic of Christmas, and celebrate it for all the right reasons - this year I have lost all interest, like so many of you who have already posted here.
The tree is sitting in a box (we use an artificial one) - stepson and his baby daughter arrive this afternoon - perhaps someone will put the tree up. We can't have lights/dangly decorations, since the kitten will climb tree and chew electric cables - he seems to enjoy that (he ate the wire to my son's headphones last week).
I'll treat my dad to a lovely Christmas dinner, because he deserves some attention; that's about the extent of my effort. Roll on 2009 - there's lots I want to get on with.
For what it's worth - I sincerely do wish you all a very happy Christmas and the peace you seek.
However in cutting back, there is still fun to be had. If the people of the World Wars could do it, so can we. That's my feeling on it.
Yesterday I saw the remains of the packet of marzipan after Mum had covered the fruit cake with it. So I took that marzipan and divided it into bits, then moulded each lump into a shape...a curled up cat, a dolphin, a star, an art palette with a paintbrush. When Dad got home from work, he was really pleased with it, and all the bits of marzipan between me and my parents got eaten! Dad's been chopping up old bits of wood for the fire for the coldest nights and when we're cold, instead of turning up the heating we grab a sweater instead.
I don't know what I'll do next. I'm just playing around in between the first chance I've got to relax all year. I think dad's planning to transfer the old childhood slides to video and when we do, we'll have a grand family screening of all embarrassing times, though in the meantime we can still use the old projector.
For a Xmas present from my parents, I've asked them just to actually play some board games with me, as that's something they never find time to do during the year, so I look forward to that.
When the doom and gloom sets in, I think of a poem I read often when I was a child.
Don't worry, don't worry,
It'll be alright,
Step out of the darkness
And into the light.
For worry casts shadows
Of mountainous size,
Enshrouding our molehills
In fearful disguise.
Will the birds sing tomorrow,
Will the sun disappear?
All the worries of millions
Won't hasten them here!
Lovely poem TJ.
I had a surprise Christmas card from a "Postman Matt"..never before. I don't know who he is. It was nice a jesture though. Small acts may be more uplifting ...
Best wishes to all and peace on Earth.
Have tried to phone her 16 times to explain, but she's not asnwering. Have texted too.
Ever feel you've stepped into a pantomime? Poor step-mother is all I can say, if Cinderella's family were anything like this one!
Anyone else feeling like the black sheep who stepped in a cowpat and indavertently wrecked everyone's Christmas? :(
Mrs. Brady has a lot to answer for because it aint all beer and skittles in the real world - and remember, she had Alice to smooth the path for her. (What exactly does 'beer & skittles' mean anyway?)
Not exactly the same but shows how a spiral can be formed ... a spirit person wrote to me and asked me to get a bear for his human companion for Christmas and he would send the money. The human wrote to tell me he had approached her for money and said it was a gift for me, his way of getting round it. When it arrived, I wrote and said money safely here, please say thank you to (spirit) for me. He wrote back, don't thank me, it came out of her funds, tell her. So I did and said (stupidly) it had been arranged which launched into a tirade of why didn't he use his own money and not mine and what did he want it for and so on and so on ... until suddenly she said 'I don't know why I am making a mountain out of a molehill over this, his arrangements, his needs, forget it.' That is what will happen with all this, too. Give it time.
(It isn't very nice giving a present to everyone else in the family and leaving one person out.)
Sorry to hijack your thread, Lexia. Hope things are okay with you.
Yes it's the build up that really gets to me too and it all goes so quickly.
Anyway - time to put this thread to bed (bring it out next year maybe, when we can all have a good laugh about what misery gut's some of us were ! ;) )
Am off to look for the New Year threads now ! xx
I'm going to look forward to starting 2009 as somehow it feels rather 'cleansing' (which is daft really i know its just another day).
This is one reason i love TB and all who frequent (or lurk as is their want)- you know that at any given time there is someone who will understand.