Publishing and dirty laundry

lexia

After weeks of reading, but little writing (apart from in my head) I promised myself that I would devote today to some serious writing on one of the many projects I have in process, specifically the follow up to “Crossing Borders”. But I am in a moral dilemma, which is this:
When is it acceptable to publish autobiographically about situations and family life, and at which point does it become airing your dirty laundry in public ?

I have again had to think of this issue after reading about Julie Myerson's latest book.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lost-Child-Julie-Myerson/dp/0747591903/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236252422&sr=1-2

My thoughts on this http://wwwbrendaabouelola.blogspot.com

Jay Mandal

Ben Elton. I'll see if I can find something about what I mean.

Jay Mandal

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Inconceivable-Ben-Elton/dp/0552146986/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236254338&sr=1-6

- see main review.

I think it was based on the author's - and his wife's - own experiences. I think he may have got into hot water with his other half.

Baggy Books

Celebs seem to want to air their dirty laundry while the stains are still wet.

Isn't it a personal decision which only the author can make?

If the only motivation is to get something off the chest, then an interval is
needed. But if it's a valid experience, why wait?

Jay Mandal

Yep, me again. (Don't worry, I think I need another sleep so I'll probably disappear soon.)

What was I going to say? Ah, yes. Not terribly relevant but, if you write sex scenes, everyone's convinced they're 'real'. If you write a murder mystery, no one expects you to have done the deed yourself.

Autobiography. Author's perception of what happened. May not coincide with other people's perceptions &/or it may hurt them. Difficult. Much easier to pretend you're writing fiction. Have you asked the people concerned?

Carol

We all use our own experiences in some way in our writing, we put the emotions/dilemmas into our characters.
I have no problem with real life experiences being put into a book which will help other people going through similar things.
Re Myerson, I do think that is a line that I personally would not cross. Another writer might feel okay with doing that, and such things must be with what each person feels comfortable with, and anyone affected by that writing doesn't have an issue.

dorothyd

it's down to personal lines not to be crossed, Lexia. Although Henry said he would Tell All, I was not surprised to find there were things he would not discuss, even after all this time, things that he said would still cause hurt. I think that is where the line is drawn, saying so much and then wondering if it would cause hurt. I overstepped that line in an article about my marriage breakup, my daughter got hold of it and was horrified that it should have been written, let alone appear in print. I had overlooked that. Consider who might read it and be hurt by it and write within that parameter.

Stomper

Hi Lexia,

If you feel there is a story to be told in your life, then go ahead and write it. It doesn't matter when the events were, last week, last year or last decade. It's all down to how passionate you are about putting them down in writing, so go ahead in my opinion.

heather

Only you can decide what you're happy with, Lexia.

We may be writers but we are people as well, and being 'a writer' doesn't excuse us from the normal considerations we would show to other people. You clearly think this yourself or you wouldn't have asked the question!
If these are people you care about, then maybe think about how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot. Would you want your family to feel like that? Have you asked them how they would feel? You may find they wouldn't mind at all.

Julie Myerson overstepped the mark in my opinion, in publishing personal details about her son that he didn't want made public, but every case is different.

lexia

Thanks for all comments here, people.
I had three quarters decided to not do the follow up - but (as indecisive as I have recently become...) I have changed my mind - again !
My family and friends are behind me in continuing/writing it.
Heather - these are all people I care about, which is why I am in a quandry over it. I would have written "novel style" and changed names, but Crossing Borders was written in the first person and it would seem strange to do the "what happened next" using "characters". I have started to use the terms my daughter, my son, my stepson etc but it's not really practical.
Hey ho.....
..... back to editing ;)

Carol

Then go ahead Lexia, you have the support of your family and friends, so you don't have the dilemma of no support. Good luck.

heather

Absolutely - if they don't mind then there is no reason for you to worry!
Good luck

lexia

Myerson is on the Tonight programme now !!!!