a ? syntax query

mema

I'm writing a piece on joys of being a new mum. Apart from having a dilema about using informal language, as a non-native English speaker I've got a problem with the flow/syntax. I wrote 'Why babies don't come with instructions?' because it flows well, but a friend who read the piece says that is should be 'Why don't babies come with instructions' - which, I agree, is correct but doesn't read that well.
Do I have to correct it or would it be acceptable in a half serious half informal entry to a writing competition?

joanna

Jan

Morning Mema,

Why babies don't come with instructions. This is a statement not requiring a question mark.
However, should you mean to be posing the question then;
Why don't babies come with instructions? is the correct form.

You mention the intention is to be informal, perhaps the sentence could be written;
"One might wonder why babies don't come with instructions." or "It is a wonder that babies don't arrive complete with instructions."

Just my "five pennarth" I'm sure others will have more helpful suggestions.
Good luck.

mema

Morning, Jan

thanks for your reply.
I inteded this to be a rethorical question rather than a statement or true question. Unless, of course, this can be written 'Why babies don;t come with instructions.' without a question mark and have the intended meaning.
The whole piece is rather informal and direct; a kind of 'a confession of a new mum'.

joanna

heather

As a rhetorical question it has to be the way your friend suggested, mema, or it doesn't make sense, as Jan explained.

In a question like this the verb always comes directly after the who/what/why/when/how in English.

(I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong about that!)

Dudess

I prefer the title "Why babies don't come with instructions" particularly if your piece has the purpose of explaining why they don't, as opposed to asking why they don't. I prefer choppy writing that doesn't conform to old rules, except when writing business letters or asking for employment, but for entertainment you can chose whichever style you prefer.

Carol

The only way I would use your sentence would be this way...

'Why babies don't come with instructions I'll never understand.' It's being a little self deprecating, but it makes the statement you're intending, and should allow you to go on from there.

But technically what Jan said is correct. 'Why don't babies come with instructions?'

mema

thanks, oh good people of Talkback :))
so it has to be the way my friend and Jay said. It's not a title and it doesn't fit into the piece if I write it any other than a question way.
I prefer 'choppy writing', like Dudess and I hope the judges will like it.
joanna

Jay Mandal

Wasn't me, but I agree with Jan. A direct question will need a question mark, as he's shown.

Stan2

I like Carol's version - that keeps the grammar correct and still retains the meaning you intend. In the original sentence 'don't' should come before 'babies'.