Speaking in public - aaaargh!

LilyC

Wasn't sure whether to post this under Writing Problems or Writing Successes.

I absolutely hate standing up in front of people and talking, even about subjects I know back to front. I just don't have the confidence, and I blush, ramble and contradict myself. This is why I write instead; it flows, I can be me.

The thought of speaking on the radio, or even worse, on TV is terrifying.

I know I'm not even 'out there', but as a budding writer I'm thinking of the (potential) future!

Anyone got any advice, tips or hypnosis suggestions??!

(Will be back this evening - lunchbreak's over)

Carol

Difficult one as I usually don't find it difficult. Get nervous yes.
When I did a radio slot- five minutes in 2007, I just blotted out the fact there were a lot of people listening and held the conversation with the guy doing the show.

Mabh

I know what you mean, Lily, I'm much happier with the written word, too! However, I have in the past had to do the public presenting thing. I found the best thing was to be absolutely, 100% sure of your topic, and give yourself three subjects to talk about - no more, or you'll forget where you are. The most critical thing is that people respond extremely well to enthusiasm - you could talk drivel enthusiastically, and they'd love you for your passion and commitment. I still got nervous, but got to know that you usually end up getting a bit of a boost out of it.

Liz

Do it, that's the only way, it gets easier.

Learn what you are going to say, don't just takes notes. But learn it not word for word, in a general way, so that bullet points remind you of what to say. If you learn it off by heart if you go wrong you get panicked and stick at that point. If you've learnt it well and can say it differently each time then you will be able to just move on to the next point.

If you have to speak on radio or TV ask for what questions you will be asked and learn answers, in the same way as above so you don't sound rehearsed. Get your friends and family to 'interview' you. Gets kids to, they will see it as a game. Have a couple of spare things to say.

Smile, take deep breaths and speak slowly and clearly so people can hear you.

Carol

There should be courses for writers to take lessons in it. :)

Nefertari

And try Bachs Rescue Remedies to help you relax, it works for me.

Liz

There are courses, I just went on one!!

Jenny

Liz - perhaps you could persuade yourself that there was a competition with thousands of entrants, the prize being an opportunity to speak in front of an audience - and, to your delight, you were the winner!

Tessadragon

same here, i hate public speaking. I get through it by being entertaining, getting people to laugh and feel in with it. Like, anatomy presentations, having to talk about various disgusting diseases? there's always something light to be made of it when talking to collegemates.
There are, if you do feel desperate, often evening class kinds of things. Like, my local church has an advert in it for the local speakers society where people can go to learn about public speaking, practise and become part of an informal register, talking about the things they like (i.e. from there we had a speaker about Jane Austen.)

dorothyd

Not sure how often a writer needs to do public speaking, to be honest. But ... if you get a book published and do a book signing, that will get you used to speaking to the public, one at a time, as it were. My last talk (writing related) was to a local historical society on my favourite subject, The Woodvilles, went down a storm as I don't use notes, don't have to, they are so much in my head. My editor is talking about lecture tours but unless he wants me to discuss spiritualism or channelling from spirit authors ...I can't see me doing very much. Radio is easy, you talk to the DJ opposite you. Apart from that, I doubt you will be called on to speak to a hall full of people unless you become very famous and then you work toward it anyway. One fear ditched!

Jenny

We used to know an ex-nurse whose job involved visiting schools and giving sex education lessons. Not an enviable version of public speaking!

LilyC

Thanks everyone, lots of interesting points. I'll try to use them all!

I have built up the weeniest bit of confidence over the last three years as every month I train small groups of staff in how to write for the web, and how to use the system that lets them update our organisation's websites.

I did a talk last month to about 25 people about web accessibility and the speech-enabling system we had just signed up to. That seemed to go down well though I was shaking like a leaf. Nothing to do with local 'dignitaries and councillors', just... I don't know, getting it wrong maybe.

I have written a course on using the Internet to research your family history - haven't presented it yet, haven't had the time, but actually I'm not worried about that one because I am truly passionate about it. I also did a speech at the naming ceremony we held for our daughter at a wood henge - I think I was so proud of my baby, and getting it right for her, that I forgot to be nervous. I think what I need to do - when in a public-speaking situation, is try to associate with how I felt at the ceremony. That's why I think I could use a bit of hypnosis, or NLP.

My other problems are that I tend to say things that are inappropriate - that's either nerves or lack of respect! And Liz - no question of me being able to learn anything off-by-heart! I have never, ever been able to remember facts, that's why I hate exams. I'm alright remembering how to do things, but not necessarily the reasons why! Sometimes I seriously wonder whether it's a 'condition' of some sort!

Liz

i have the same condition Lily. If anyone asks me a question I become a complete and utter prat. I have no idea why. I lose the ability to be cogent.

Daisy

As Dorothy said, if you get a book published you have the chance to do author visits/book signings which helps to get you used to speaking about what you do and what you write. I've done a few visits/talks in bookshops (organised by publisher) and some school talks and visits. I do always feel nervous, but prepare as well as I can and try to think of just about every question I might get asked. There is nothing worse than being asked a question and flustering about trying to think up an answer! I would love to be able to feel really relaxed so I could enjoy doing this kind of thing - I'm working on it!

LilyC

I do sometimes get caught talking to myself in the street as I practise being interviewed!

Liz

in fact before my MA interview i thought they're bound to ask me my favourite children's authors or books, so learnt a list of five. Sure enough, they asked. Sure enough, I couldn't remember ANYTHING I liked.

Kaz

Excuse me while I go all Jane Wenham Jones, but I do find a couple of glasses of wine beforehand/ during helps.

Tessadragon

oh yeah, something i read in a book about public speaking: don't drink milk before public speaking. It makes the body produce mucus that makes the voice 'milky' and unclear and need to 'ahem' more.

dorothyd

no problem there, can't stand the stuff. Don't drink, so I rely on the other kind of spirits to help. I remember clearly going to my mother's funeral:
daughter: what are you going to say?
me: no idea
daughter: you're just going to wing it?
me: yes
daughter: hope you don't embarrass yourself and me
me: don't worry.
I knew the opening line and the closing line, the rest - came from spirit and from my heart. Afterwards an uncle asked me for a copy of the talk ... was shocked to find there wasn't one.

louise

The problem I find is that I can't pronounce words. I know what I want to say, and open my mouth and ioueiknfkdjla comes out.

Tessadragon

i'd suggest singing, Louise, such as finding someone who can play the piano, give them a songbook on the condition that you can come over for a sing along. When you're having to sing, you're learning to give each word the edges. Disney songs especially helped me, like tale as old as time, and a whole new world. Other songs are better sung without a piano, such as supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Liz

That is milk in anything even tea, and coke and coffee... caffeine things as well. And chocolate. Son has to give up all those things before doing stage stuff.

Author Online

I went on a course too - the most important thing is to breathe properly I was taught - it relaxes the whole body and stops you from sounding squeaky and high pitched ! Keep a glass of water near you so that you can take sips if you need to, and remember that you won't sound or look nearly as nervous as you think you do ! If all of that fails try and imagine your audience sitting there naked - that works for me every time !

pongo

Join a "Toastmaster" club. An American organisation that now has over 80 clubs throughout UK.
A real fun organisation that pushes your boundaries.
Once I wouldn't say Boo to a goose, (theoretically) have now spoken to audience of over 500. No problem.
See their website. Toastmasters International and find a club near you.

Carol

We have something like that here- it's called a speakers club. A family friend is a member, and a couple of years ago we had a member from there come and give a talk to our writers club- to encourage them to improve their reading voices.
Very useful, and it did help a few people gain confidence in reading aloud.

LilyC

Taking it all on board...

Thanks everyone. :)

Nena

LilyC, you have my sympathy. I hate talking in public. I've never done any talks as a writer, but I have given a few as an illustrator. I have found it to get easier the more I've done, but you do need to be prepared. (Although I even managed to fluff my way through a talk to 30 eleven-year-olds yesterday, despite having taken the wrong flash drive with me so that I didn't have my Power Point display as back-up...so I must be getting used to this public speaking business!)

Mabh

[quote=LilyC]actually I'm not worried about that one because I am truly passionate about it. [/quote]

That's it, Lily, that's the answer.

Good for you getting to Woodhenge, by the way. We got there a couple of years ago. What a great place to bless the bairn.

LilyC

Thanks Ginger. I'm afraid it wasn't THE Woodhenge but a henge made of wood in our lovely park, underneath ancient trees. They sometimes put plays on there too. A very magical place, as is the real one.

It probably wouldn't be so bad if I'm asked direct questions about a novel as I'm bound to be passionate about that, it's if they ask about me, and my opinions. I'm so fickle - I change my mind from one day to the next (Gemini thing again). Worse still, if they ask anything academic - I manage to misunderstand things and make a complete fool of myself.

Oh well. I'll just have to practise - and try the tips and maybe go on a course, and, and, and...

Wordy

I taught primary age children before I retired so people assumed I could give talks to adults as well but it is an entirely different situation. With children we often suggested if they were talking on stage that they needed to pitch it to the "deaf old lady at the back of the hall." On my first talk at an adult group I had several of those deaf old ladies in reality and they kept loudly asking their neighbours what had been said as the projector at the hall was incredibly noisy. After a few sessions like that I took to writing about my subjects instead. However, people then assume you can also talk about them and the vicious circle continues.

I find it helpful to have a drink of water handy and take regular sips, have key points on cards in large print for moments when the mind goes blank and to smile - hopefully not too manically. Encouraging people to ask questions also gives breathing space.

Good luck.