my girlfreind is going to quit writing

Will

Will

hello, how can i stop my girlfreind from quitting writing?
It is her hobby, but she works too and we have children and i try and give her time but she is still not happy and keeps saying she will stop. but this will make her less happy.
How do i help her?

Carol

Say okay, you understand and agree entirely with her decision, and ignore it.
A writer has to write.
I bet it won't be long before she's writing again.

Flick

It's hard to fit writing in when you have a job, kids and a partner. I stopped for a few years when the kids were little. My time went entirely to them and I don't regret it at all. She might be better to leave it for a while. It's easy to pick it up again. When you feel guilty for the time it takes up, you don't write effectively anyway. Let her make her own decision on this. The fact that you are supportive means everything

bochok

Will, I gave up writing for 18 months, as I thought I couldn't do it and there were just too many other things that needed to be done.  I thought I'd wait until my kids had left home before writing again.  One day I realised I just couldn't wait that long - I just HAD to write.  So I started again.  Sooner or later your girlfriend will probably feel the same and will return to writing with renewed enthusiasm.

Isabella King

Carol's right. She may well give up for a while. I did when my girls were young. They took up so much of my time, for so many years that I didn't even have time to think about writing but, as Carol says, if it's in her blood she'll come back to it.

Unless it's her job she's not happy with...

Nefertari

You sound such a sweet boyfriend caring about your girlfriend's happiness like that.
If she really wants to write then she won't be able to stop herself, don't worry.

dorothyd

Let it go for now.  I wrote, non stop, until I had to do two jobs to earn a living, so it went and it went until my daughter was seven! Then suddenly it all took off again.  The writer is always there.

Carol

I recognise a lot of what's been said already Will. I was writing continually as a teenager and when the need for getting a job and other life requiring demands took priority, I stopped- for 20 years!
But it came back and I knew I had to start writing again.
I've gone slowly because of the needs of my family and children-some with special needs- so I've had a long term plan to allow myself to do a bit more each year as they've got older.
I'm now getting more time as they have now begun senior school.
Just carry on as you are supporting her, as said we all get highs and lows and just can't carry on.
As said don't make an issue of it, and she'll soon be writing again.

Daisy

I agree with all the above.  The thing about writers is that they never give up writing.  They might have a long break sometimes when other things in life have priority.  The urge to write always comes back and usually with renewed vigour!  During the break she'll be gaining all sorts of other experiences that will give inspiration and insight in the future.

TaffetaPunk

My guess (for what it's worth) is that if she's not writing then she'll read - a lot.  Once she's had a break, the urge will creep up on her from behind when she's not looking, and she'll grab a pen almost without thinking about it.

Allie

Sounds to me like a cry for help. Maybe you do try to give her as much time as possible, but in my experience it's what is perceived to be essential housework but isn't that takes from writing time. My solution was simply not to do it. If that suits you, why not encourage this attitude in your girlfriend? If it doesn't, maybe you could pitch in and help a bit more?

Marc.B

Maybe for the time being she does a break from writing, A break, not Giving Up. You could suggest 'little writing exercises' along the way. Watching something on tv, write what you think would/could/should happen next. A picture, a shopping experience. Only 500 words max.  All helps to keep your hand in.

Liz H

I've given it up many times for various reason, busy with housework and children, just lack of time and also because I've always felt my health was against me. This year I've not been too well and I've felt my age is against me now too. I wondered whether I was actually wasting my time and what little energy I had.

I've read a lot this year. This last week
I've  actually felt a bit better, found I missed writing and so taken it up again. I've decided to write because I enjoy it, to write for me.

I agree with the others, perhaps she needs a break. If so she will come back to it with renewed enthusiasm. It's nice to see you are so supportive of her.

Jay Mandal

Sorry, Liz, to hear you've not been well, but glad you feel a bit better.

Will - I don't know what she writes and whether this will help, but you could say that, if she writes 100 words a day, she'll have nearly 40,000 by the end of a year. Not a bad total, and not a great deal of time required.

Woll22

Sometimes a wee break from writing is not a bad thing - so easy to become stale and lose your edge.  A month or two's break maybe what she needs to take a fresh look at life. Why don't you take her out somewhere, a nice weekend away,perhaps if the kids have friends, why not a couple nights sleep over for them or perhaps grandparents might like a chance to have them. I bet you after a spell away, she will feel refreshed. Nothing to stop her taking a notebook with her to jot down the odd idea. I will put my money on it that she will be itching to get to the words processor by the end of it.