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beginning
I am struggling with making the beginning of my novel interesting and eye catching. I am also wandering whether i should change it to first person or just change who's point of view the reader sees everything from.
These are the options that i thought about last night
Write it in third person as it now.
Write it in first person from my main character's viewpoint or from a neutral character's viewpoint
Perhaps even start it with someone telling their children the story of...
any ideas?
i hope this makes sense.
These are the options that i thought about last night
Write it in third person as it now.
Write it in first person from my main character's viewpoint or from a neutral character's viewpoint
Perhaps even start it with someone telling their children the story of...
any ideas?
i hope this makes sense.
Comments
Loved Hatters Castle. Started with a light warm breeze wandering about. The book finished with a light warm breeze, having touched Brodie's castle, chilling, and moving on.
One can learn a lot from the experts.
I think a book written in the first person limits what others think and do because how do know what others are thinking.
I agree with Carol, it's difficult to say without knowing more but the main thing is making it attention grabbing.
Depending on the genre will also affect the start. If it's action, for example, make sure the reader understands that from the outset. I think the crucial thing is to make sure it's a moment of change whatever genre it might be.
And as Dorothy says, Show don't tell - get the reader involved from line one. Tell tends to keep a reader at a distance.
Good luck.
Beginnings - always a right pain in the bum to get right. Part of me would also recommend you just get on and write it and then come back when it's time to edit and revise. We can all fall into the trap of tweaking and revising and fine tuning our beginnings and not get the rest written.
tracy have you been reading Dwight V Swain's book Techniques of the Selling Writer? It was given to me by a friend and read a tiny bit on the chapter about Beginning and that was the main point, change. But i was too tired to read much more!
I will start the edit tonight and try and work a bit on the beginning. Last night i did write out a bit of a plan that is better than what i had so perhaps it will work better.
Oh, its a fantasy but starts in a small village in the north of England, the first scene is in a pub. I'm thinking of setting the ordinary scene of a pub and then the change comes in...it should work, hopefully. But that's for tonight.
No I haven't read that particular book. My main experience has been trying it the hard way, I'm currently revising my historical fantasy which has gone through several changes to the start and has changed quite radically which is also why I'd recommend getting most of your book written.
But change is crucial - try not to take too long to hook the reader. Get a cracking first line or two and within the next few paragraphs indicate where the story is going. Try not to hang around too much. You can certainly keep any mystery and drop loads of clues which would also intrigue.
Basically, I'd say think - big, fat juicy plot worm that hooks the reader from the outset so they have to keep reading because they need to know what's going to happen.
Wishing you well with the writing tonight.
Here's a little morale booster - as an agent said to me, a significant part of the author's life is revision, revision, revision. So, take your time and know that if it keeps changing you most certainly aren't alone. If I hadn't lost track of how many revisions I'd done I'd let you know. ;-)
Excerpt from 'The Last Laugh'.
What are they talking about? (Keep it clean.)
Wine tasting?
Take 'Pride and Prejudice'.
http://www.online-literature.com/austen/prideprejudice/1/
Page one draws the reader in rather effectively, don't you think? And a fair bit of exposition and characterisation can be included too.
So situations like the front door opening, breakfast table announcements, boss summoning employee. All ripe for exploitation. When you think about it, if your opening gambit is less dramatic than one of these, you may not be starting your story in the right place.
My personal preference is nineteen eight four 'and the clocks struck thirteen'. You know you are dealing with something extraordinary.
The dark October night air smells of dampness and mildew. No flicker of light breaks through the moonless night. No brightness in the choking air. Rain hangs suspended in the heavy stillness. My footsteps crunched through the frozen ice and mud. No sound disturbs the gnarled and twisted branches of the leafless trees. There is almost no sound, only a ghost, and a wisp of a sob on the breeze. A murmur grows louder; someone is scrabbling against metal, someone struggling to breathe. (bound, copyright feona bowey - so don't think about it lol!)
Criticise at will! What I am going for is the build up of a creepy/gothic atmosphere to build up suspense and tension. By the end of the chapter there will be a murder.
Actually, I think that semi-colon is wrong . . .
Dwight, thanks. I would always start my essays at school with someone talking if it was that type of essay. I was also told its good to start with dialog and i do prefer it, it gets the reader right into it. anyway I better go and do some writing. Its already 22:30!
Good night all
thanks for all the help.
keep the comments coming
But I agree with Tracy. I wonder how many rewrites JA did before she got it word perfect like this. I hope you will consider a dialogue opening for your novel as one of your options.
Dwight, I looked back at the book. The 'universal truth' line is narration (more Austen speaking than anything else in her ironic tone!). Now in the BBC drama it was dialogue, but not in the novel. The novel contains two sentences of narration, then the dialogue begins with Mrs Bennet.
I'm actually struggling to find a novel that begins with dialogue. I think I'll take a look in Waterstones later (probably get kicked out too!).
[quote=Stirling]Criticise at will! What I am going for is the build up of a creepy/gothic atmosphere to build up suspense and tension.[/quote]
May I be so bold as to praise your idea yet suggest my opinion for improvement of impact?
These [ ] brackets denote omitting your words, these { } denote suggested replacement words.
The dark October night [air smells of] {oozes} dampness and mildew. No [flicker] {glimmer} of light [breaks through] {penetrates} the moonless {hour} [night. No brightness in] {smothered by} the choking air. Rain [hangs] suspended in the heavy stillness. My footsteps crunch[ed through] the frozen ice and mud[. No sound] disturb[s]{ing deliberation of} the gnarled and twisted branches of the [leafless] {naked} trees. [There is almost no sound, only] a ghost, [and a] wisp of a sob on the breeze. A murmur grows louder; [someone is] scrabbling against metal, someone struggling to breathe.
Thus it reads:-
The dark October night oozes dampness and mildew. No glimmer of light penetrates the moonless hour, smothered by the choking air. Rain, suspended in the heavy stillness. My footsteps crunch the frozen ice and mud, disturbing deliberation of the gnarled and twisted branches of the naked trees. A ghost, wisp of a sob on the breeze. A murmur grows louder. Scrabbling against metal. Someone, struggling to breathe!
Obviously you will prefer your own style of word. Hopefully the shortened, staccato, pace helps paint the scene you require.
Good luck, it will be interesting to read your final edit.
The pub patrons were chatting cheerfully to each other when Anna walked in on her usual Saturday shift. A few people looked up and waved at her during their conversations of the previous days farming successes.
Hey Anna. Youre a bit late this morning. But dont worry I got on fine without you, A tall, dark-haired youth said.
Oh, hi Tom. Yeah, my alarm didnt go off. Dont know why.
Anna quickly tied up her unruly auburn hair as, Lizzy, the owner bounced in from her office.
Anna! Was there a traffic jam or something? she asked with a quirky smile.
Unlikely. Just a dumb alarm.
Right. Well Jimmy would like a pint and some breakfast. Hop to it.
Yes maam! Anna saluted, laughing.
Uh, excuse me.
Anna turned on the spot and found herself staring into the most striking blue eyes shed ever seen. Stepping back, she surveyed the young man in front of her.
How can I help you sir? Anna asked, wandering if he was even old enough to be called sir.
Im looking for a Anna Parker. I was told I could find her here. The young man brushed his hand through his straw-coloured hair absently.
Youve found her. Again, how can I help you? Anna asked, puzzled. Why was a stranger asking for her?
Just this, he leant in closer and whispered, Be at Finigans house at noon. He turned and left without waiting for her reply.
Wait! Why?
Did I hear that right? Did he say Finigan? Tom asked.
Yeah.
You do know what Finigan is, right?
Of course I do!
Then you will forget what that boy said. Finigan is dangerous.
You dont think I know that? I-,
When you two have stopped bickering, there are customers to serve! Lizzy snapped from behind them.
Anna nodded and promptly set about readying Jimmys breakfast. But she couldnt get those eyes out of her head. They were so blue! And he must have been about seventeen, Tom and her age. What was he doing here? No one ever came here for holiday. Besides, school started tomorrow. There had to be a good reason and Anna was going to find out. In three hours time when she cashed up she would go to the old mans house.
"Where's the damned hotel?"
First person present book, very difficult to write - when I tried marketing it with Transworld, it came back with the comment 'you grab the reader by the throat and drag them into the story' but it was too wild for them. Blue Moon published it in the end.
It never hurts to start with dialogue if you can, it snatches people and makes them read on.
First person can, I think, be different because in essence, the narrative is dialogue, or certainly the way the person thinks and speaks. A good first person narrative really gets us inside the character and the same I think should go for dialogue. Good dialogue, well-written can show us much more about a character than resorting to telling us about them.
I certainly think it's better to involve some dialogue as soon as you can, rather than have paragraphs of exposition, because as Dorothy says it snatches people, involves them in the story rather than keeping them at a distance.
Jemma - I think you should be wary of posting extracts too soon because it's still a work in progress. Get it written first because although this isn't a critquing site, if people say too many different things or are too critical, it can become too easy to be disheartened. One of the things I've often heard is that as writers we shouldn't show our literary baby to others until it's at least a finished first draft and I think that's good advice. The more you write, the more you'll see things that need to be fixed and I would, if I was the betting kind, put a huge amount of money on your beginning changing significantly and more than once.
If you really have the need to hear any comments, tread warily and trust your instincts too. It's your book and it's your voice you need to develop. The first draft will never be the finished draft.
Best of luck and happy writing.
Tracy :)
I agree with the need for dialogue, a reader needs a pair of eyes to see the world through. Pages of exposition irritates me. Dialogue quickly follows what I post.
Spot on about dialogue Tracy!
Just picked up my 'read at lunch time' book (been reading it for something like six months now, I rarely go to lunch alone)
The Drumbeat of Jimmy Sands by Murray Davies.
"What's this? An army funeral? Full military honours."
Can I ask? Is the the second or third edit of just this opening scene?
How much of the rest of the story have you written?
If you really, really feel the need for input on these opening lines, I'll reluctantly make a comment but only if you really, really want some feedback at this stage. ( Do you think that's enough reallys? ) And so long as you remember that it is only you who knows where your story is going at this early stage and if I give an opinion it's only my personal opinion and some might say I talk out of my bum. ;)
I will definately be thinking things over tonight.
Stirling, I think you're doing a pretty good job here, although I think you have a tendency to overwrite a little bit, and this comes over to me as feeling a bit agonised over. Just tell the story, and keep it as simple and visual and easy to read as you can.
When my partner vetted my book before we printed it, he told me to take out the 'fancy' words, change carricks for ships, change mazer for goblet or cup. 'Don't show off; he told me. 'Just because you know it and think that way, doesn't mean everyone else knows. KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid!' (We use that throughout our business dealings, when we refer to it as KIFS, having found customers are pretty stupid at times.)
You can write relatively simply and keep the story moving, it just means stripping out a lot of unnecessary words. When you revise your book/story/article, make sure you come to it with fresh eyes, having put it away for a month or more.
Try the One Word Challenge every month. Writing a piece in 200 words makes you evaluate every word you put down. It's very good practice and costs nothing but your time.
You are right there Stirling, I also find that dialogue is quite minimal compared to other genres (which is fine with me, I don't actually like dialogue, especially if it is first person narrative).