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Most people call their dogs Rover or Fido, well I once had a dog who I named Sex. He was so embarrassing. In those days you had to have a Dog Licence so I went to the post office to buy one. I told the man I would like to have a licence for Sex. He said 'I'd like to have one too.'
Then I said 'but this is a dog.' He said 'I don't care what she looks like.' Then I said 'you don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine. He said I must have been some kid.
When I got married and went on honeymoon I took the dog with us. I told the hotel receptionist I wanted a room for wife and me and a special room for Sex. She said every room in the place was for sex. I said you don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night. She said 'me too'
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began the bloody dog ran away. Someone asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the competition. He told me I should have sold tickets. But you don't understand I said, I had hoped to have Sex on the television. he called me a show-off.
When my wife and I seperated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I told the Judge I had Sex before I got married. The Judge said 'me too.' Then I told him after getting married Sex had left me, he said 'me too.' Last week Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking aroung town for him. A copper came over and asked 'what are you doing in this alley at four am? I said 'looking for Sex. My case comes up on friday.
Sorry, still don't get it, Carol. In Liverpool we groan if the team loses. But we also have a great sense of humour, and like the others who responded I thought Marc's story was hugely funny.
So it was you in that alley that night, Marc. I only popped in for a pee and got collared for loitering.
I hope you're going to own up and get me off the hook.
A guy in a carpark in Perth was calling his dog, and I reckon he hated women. He kept shouting:'Bitch! Bitch!' Now in rural New Zealand this would be perfectly acceptable (see 'Footrot Flats') but in urban Scotland, it didn't go down so well!
Comments
Then I said 'but this is a dog.' He said 'I don't care what she looks like.' Then I said 'you don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine. He said I must have been some kid.
When I got married and went on honeymoon I took the dog with us. I told the hotel receptionist I wanted a room for wife and me and a special room for Sex. She said every room in the place was for sex. I said you don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night. She said 'me too'
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began the bloody dog ran away. Someone asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the competition. He told me I should have sold tickets. But you don't understand I said, I had hoped to have Sex on the television. he called me a show-off.
When my wife and I seperated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I told the Judge I had Sex before I got married. The Judge said 'me too.' Then I told him after getting married Sex had left me, he said 'me too.' Last week Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking aroung town for him. A copper came over and asked 'what are you doing in this alley at four am? I said 'looking for Sex. My case comes up on friday.
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It's a great joke, for heaven's sake. Am passing it around. Thanks Marc.
I hope you're going to own up and get me off the hook.