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P'raps we should have a little On The Side comp here, to see whose entry we liked best! My filing system has completely failed me, I can't find my entry anywhere and can't even remember what I called it so I can't 'search' for it! I seem to recall it was a YA entry, possibly somewhat overdramatic!
All was still, yet even through the silence the surroundings seemed to heave with uncertainty, matching the slow rise and fall of her chest. Snowflakes drifted down from a grey, sullen sky full with ice and slowly covered our tracks through the deepening drift.
Her eyes were glassy, yet despite my malice, they remained bright. I tightened the wire around her throat, yet I could not extinguish the cool arctic light in her eyes, nor soil her palliative expression.
Snow crystals glittered momentarily as they melted on her skin and slowly dripped into the snow.
A crow in the distance broke the silence. The glow gradually diminished in her eyes; her irises shrank to deathly dots. She was dead, and yet she stared at me with the most beautiful expression; the lingering candescence of pure God given light.
ceka, it's in a supplement called Review that looks like newspaper - ie not glossy!
Heather - Yes, the 6 winners names are all there - the overall winner is called Diane Coulson
Lorna hit the switch at the second attempt. Rubbing her eyes under the harsh glare of the strip light, she peered grudgingly at the clock. Little hand hovering over robin, big hand fast approaching wren. Five thirty. The damn chirping would start in a minute, and her head hurt, but you cant say no to a present from your kids, can you?
Cold feet slapping on an even colder floor, she auto-piloted her way towards the fridge and the promise of tea. The lobster magnet leered as she swung open the door and grabbed the milk. Stupid goggle-eyed thing. Stubbing her toe as she turned, the bottle slipped from her grasp and fell, exploding on impact. The body lay across the lino, wrapped in what looked suspiciously like her spare duvet, the semi-skimmed already dripping through the blood from an exposed knee, and forming a sickly pink puddle beneath.
As one of the 'lower down the list runners up' I don't think my entry was necessarily dull.... but I'm sure you didn't mean it like that Dorothy! :-)
I have to disagree with comments so far about the winning entry. Its simplicity of style is its strength - it seems to me that is what the judges are looking for. It certainly doesn't 'tell'. As I read I wanted to know who were these three people? what was their relationship to one another? and what is special about Rosy, because clearly something is. It poses questions, it doesn't crowd you with information which is something the beginning of a novel should never do, and its composition is just about perfect. That's why it won. A good thing we don't all think the same though isn't it - now that would be dull!
the thing is ... we are told endlessly to capture the reader in the first line if possible, certainly the first paragraph. That one did not capture me at all. I thought it was dull, I could not have cared less who the people were or what they were doing, it simply didn't capture the imagination.
Now, if Rosie had been drowning in the pool ... and no one was diving in to rescue her, I would have been interested to read on! I am sure there were far more interesting starts than that.
Funnily enough, I read again the winning entry and the image of Rosy dancing in the empty swimming pool on a cold day has stuck with me - and maybe that's what caught the judges' attention too - in which case yes, it is a strength. It didn't make me want to read on immediately, but it did get me thinking.
As you say, D, just as well we're all different!
[quote=dorothyd]Now, if Rosie had been drowning in the pool ... and no one was diving in to rescue her, I would have been interested to read on![/quote]
Aye, I'd have been keen to read that opener, too, dorothy!
Am happy to email my entry, but not going to publish it on here. I trust you lot... [email protected]
Didn't bother me putting mine on here, as I have no intention of using it anywhere else. It was just written for the competition, pretty much like the OWC. Maybe your entries are already turning into full scale novels? Hope so. Best of luck with them.
so when is the next comp? I entered the one where 'tip' was the word you had to use. I though my attempt was quite good but clearly the MoS didn't. Bloody Right Wing press!
50-150 words opening to a novel, introducing the word SET (eg it could be a set expression, a set-to, setting off, or used as an adjective, noun or verb), to be typed or clearly written, with name, address, phone number and email address all on the same page - to The Mail on Sunday Novel Competition, P O Box 150, Rochester, Kent, ME1 9AG.
Closes Friday 29 October.
Well, it's the morning after the day before and I'm still on a high after the celebratory lunch for the comp winners! We had a good time, didn't we Dudess? There were several agents/editors there so hopefully have made some good contacts. The judges were great, not at all full of their own importance or anything. I had thought perhaps Fay Weldon would be a bit formidable but she wasn't at all, she was really sweet, and they were all so interested in our writing and what we had to say. The food was lovely but I was so busy trying to keep up with all the talk and attempting to big up the novel that I forgot to eat most of it. Unfortunately I didn't forget to drink the wine so I was probably wittering nonsense by the end! They moved us round between courses so we got to talk to almost everyone. The highlight for me was being presented with my prize by Debborah Moggach as I do love her books, and spent quite a long time talking to her as well. On balance, very well worth entering this one. Even if nothing else comes of it, it's a day to remember.
Oh, it was a brilliant day indeed, and I had a massive headache on the train home. No, not a lush, but think the comedown from such a great event had me a bit unsettled. I nipped into town today to buy my e-reader (Samsung E60) and trying to download a book onto it!
Will post this evening, as just about to leave work now :)
Thanks everyone, and it was great to meet you yesterday, D....hope you've had a spend on your book token! Was great to be greeted by such lovely and friendly people who were so encouraging about our works-in-progress/completions, plus the Polish food was gorgeous! I barely had time to eat the beetroot salad, or fish cakes, but I was damn well not going to speak to anyone during the cheesecake :) Now off to write, edit and e-read!
The winner of the 2010-2011 competition appears in The Mail on Sunday, 28th August 2011, Review Section, page 12, along with details of the 2011-2012 competition.
There is a new discussion for the 2011-2012 competition.
Was not that impressed with the winner. Nothing really special about it, but good luck to her anyway. Did not recognise the names of any of the 6 finalists this time.
Comments
Frozen breath coiled into the air.
All was still, yet even through the silence the surroundings seemed to heave with uncertainty, matching the slow rise and fall of her chest. Snowflakes drifted down from a grey, sullen sky full with ice and slowly covered our tracks through the deepening drift.
Her eyes were glassy, yet despite my malice, they remained bright. I tightened the wire around her throat, yet I could not extinguish the cool arctic light in her eyes, nor soil her palliative expression.
Snow crystals glittered momentarily as they melted on her skin and slowly dripped into the snow.
A crow in the distance broke the silence. The glow gradually diminished in her eyes; her irises shrank to deathly dots. She was dead, and yet she stared at me with the most beautiful expression; the lingering candescence of pure God given light.
Heather - Yes, the 6 winners names are all there - the overall winner is called Diane Coulson
Lorna hit the switch at the second attempt. Rubbing her eyes under the harsh glare of the strip light, she peered grudgingly at the clock. Little hand hovering over robin, big hand fast approaching wren. Five thirty. The damn chirping would start in a minute, and her head hurt, but you cant say no to a present from your kids, can you?
Cold feet slapping on an even colder floor, she auto-piloted her way towards the fridge and the promise of tea. The lobster magnet leered as she swung open the door and grabbed the milk. Stupid goggle-eyed thing. Stubbing her toe as she turned, the bottle slipped from her grasp and fell, exploding on impact. The body lay across the lino, wrapped in what looked suspiciously like her spare duvet, the semi-skimmed already dripping through the blood from an exposed knee, and forming a sickly pink puddle beneath.
I have to disagree with comments so far about the winning entry. Its simplicity of style is its strength - it seems to me that is what the judges are looking for. It certainly doesn't 'tell'. As I read I wanted to know who were these three people? what was their relationship to one another? and what is special about Rosy, because clearly something is. It poses questions, it doesn't crowd you with information which is something the beginning of a novel should never do, and its composition is just about perfect. That's why it won. A good thing we don't all think the same though isn't it - now that would be dull!
Now, if Rosie had been drowning in the pool ... and no one was diving in to rescue her, I would have been interested to read on! I am sure there were far more interesting starts than that.
As you say, D, just as well we're all different!
Aye, I'd have been keen to read that opener, too, dorothy!
Am happy to email my entry, but not going to publish it on here. I trust you lot... [email protected]
Closes Friday 29 October.
Will post this evening, as just about to leave work now :)
Thanks everyone, and it was great to meet you yesterday, D....hope you've had a spend on your book token! Was great to be greeted by such lovely and friendly people who were so encouraging about our works-in-progress/completions, plus the Polish food was gorgeous! I barely had time to eat the beetroot salad, or fish cakes, but I was damn well not going to speak to anyone during the cheesecake :) Now off to write, edit and e-read!
There is a new discussion for the 2011-2012 competition.
Winner: Marion Richards
Runner-up: Edward James
Third: Paula Greensted
Equal Fourth: Marie Golding, Lynda Tavakoli and Alison Wilkins.