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Hospital notes
Im Trying
May 2007
edited May 2007
in
- Reading
Comments
Im Trying
May 2007
Thought I'd share these with you. They are actual extracts from patient records
1. Patient refused autopsy.
2. Patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Note: patient here-recovering from forehead cut, became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
22. Skin: somewhat pale but present
23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Island Girl
May 2007
Hi IT. Yes, extremely laugh-out-loud funny but I'm afraid I have to tell you that our resident comedienne, Jenny, beat you to it.
See post: "Genuine or not?" 04/04/07 20:44:36
Sorry IT, but don't let that put you off, please keep 'em coming. :)
Im Trying
May 2007
Mi mam alwayz sez I woz slow
Island Girl
May 2007
Well, you just pull your socks up, young man! Spit that hayseed from your mouth and wake up to yourself. Hehehe
Im Trying
May 2007
Not the seeds I worry about IG
Island Girl
May 2007
I'm too afraid to ask!
Tessa Tangent
May 2007
No. 7 appears to be my case-notes from 2 years ago. So much for the Hippocratic Oath.
Jenny
May 2007
I wonder if it was a Talkbacker who was "x-rated and sent home"!!
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1. Patient refused autopsy.
2. Patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Note: patient here-recovering from forehead cut, became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
22. Skin: somewhat pale but present
23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
See post: "Genuine or not?" 04/04/07 20:44:36
Sorry IT, but don't let that put you off, please keep 'em coming. :)