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I'll be dashed. Punctuation advice - again!
Below is an extract from a book of mine. My question is, can I used a third dash instead of the full stop as the speaker, Mrs Salt, is continuing her sentence?
‘Well, I’ve yet to meet anyone that actually understands the ciphers, but my husband, Paddy—remember I was telling you about him—’ Toby nodded. ‘Well, he was given that...'
Comments
I tend to put the dashes where dialogue is broken outside the quotes. This is how I've seen it done, usually. It makes sense as Toby's nod is disrupting the speech.
And yes, I also thought along Heather's lines with the question mark.
I'd go with the ? for the second dash, TN, or it becomes too breathy. While she isn't seriously asking a question, as she already knows the answer, she does elicit a response. Therefore the ? is required.
If you took out Toby's response, you'd have:
'Well, I’ve yet to meet anyone that actually understands the ciphers, but my husband, Paddy—remember I was telling you about him-well, he was given that...'
'Well' twice is clumsy. Mrs Salt would say:
'Well, I’ve yet to meet anyone that actually understands the ciphers, but my husband, Paddy—remember I was telling you about him—was given that...' And I'd still use a ? after him, before the dash.
‘Well, I’ve yet to meet anyone that actually understands the ciphers, but my husband, Paddy—remember I was telling you about him?’ Toby nodded '-was given that...'
So no punctuation after 'Toby nodded'?
Or
Well, I’ve yet to meet anyone that actually understands the ciphers, but my husband, Paddy—remember I was telling you about him?’ Toby nodded - 'was given that...'
:-B
If you want him to be nodding while she is speaking without even the slightest pause or acknowledgement of the nod, then you will need the dashes, or some other method such as brackets.
Yes, Mrs Salt has a good (but broken) heart. Poor soul. I'll give her a new sentence. She'll appreciate that.