Stomach or stomachs?

Tiny Nell

This is the line:

'They each leaned back in their seats with a hand on their stomach.'

There are two people, but each uses only one hand and each has only one stomach...

My proofreader says it should be 'stomachs'.

Claudia

I agree with your proofreader. It's a bit unclear in its current form and sounds like they're sharing a stomach.

Tiny Nell

Yes, the more I look at it, the more I think it should be plural.

Baggy Books

I agree.

It would help if they were cows.

Tiny Nell

Ha! That's what I was thinking.

Mrs Bear

If you had, 'They leaned back in their seats, each with a hand on his stomach,' that would be two people, each with one stomach.
'Each leaned back in his seat, a hand on his stomach,' - one person, one stomach.
'They both leaned back in their seats with their hands on their stomachs' - two people, two stomachs.

casey

Mrs B is right. much clearer if you change the whole sentence.

Tiny Nell

Mrs Bear, you always manage to see things so clearly. I sent it to be published before I saw your comment, but I think I'll re-publish it with your phrase. It will only take a day longer.

MarkHempshell

Just change it to hands on their knees. As well solving the problem it may add an element of intrigue as the reader wonders which hand went to which knee!

Onlinegenie

I agree with Mrs Bear. The only problem would arise if one of your characters were male and the other female.

Tiny Nell

I've just re-submitted my proof with Mrs Bear's line.

*wishes there was an acknowledgements section in book*

snailmale

Two people apparently sharing a stomach have a good chance of being Siamese twins.

Tiny Nell

*re-thinks plot*

Mrs Bear

I've just re-submitted my proof with Mrs Bear's line.

*wishes there was an acknowledgements section in book*

*blushes modestly* No need, TN!

Lizy

There ought to be a TB medal for helpful souls like Mrs Bear.

Tiny Nell

(*) for Mrs Bear.

Mrs Bear

Coo, thanks ever so - it looks lovely against the fur, you know!