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I thought that maybe it was time to have a Poetry thread for all things... well, poetry. 

This might include competitions, publications, questions, opinions, examples, or anything else poetry-related.


  • edited February 2019
    I am going to start with a bugbear of mine: 

    21st century poetry which uses archaic language

    I don't know why it riles me so much, but I feel angry when poetry contains 'thee', 'thou' or 'thy' (often used incorrectly, by the way). 'O' is another, or when the verb and subject order are swapped a la Shakespeare.

    Just, no.

    I am glad to have got that off my chest.

    As you were...
  • LizLiz
    edited February 2019
    Oh, I agree. You won't find any published by a publisher that contains archaic language simply because someone 'thinks it's right'. 

    Another bugbear:

    'Poets' that change the order of sentences to fulfil rhythm or rhyme requirements. If you can't get it right, you're not a poet. If you can't say what you want within the structure YOU have given yourself, find another or say it in a different way or don't say it all.

    Unless of course it's to make a point. 
  • Absolutely, Liz!
  • O' thee sounds upset  :*
  • SKRIBE said:
    O' thee sounds upset  :*

    In more heartening news, The Caterpillar Poetry for Children Competition is up. It's expensive at 12 euros, but the prize is fab. I just spontaneously and frivolously submitted something.

  •  :D apologies ;)
  • I'd love on here a verse to write

    But worry that perchance it might

    Cause upset to the fair Brownlee

    and also bother Nell Tiny

  • I shouldn't laugh,
    my clever friend,
    but flipping words
    doth me offend.

  • But thou so picky shouldn't be

    when thou art reading poetry.

    We minstrels all our best do try

    and such harsh words bring tears to I.

  • *snorts and strikes heather off all lists*
  • Even the hit list?
  • Did someone say something?
  • edited February 2019

    I'm glad I'm off the naughty list as well :)

  • Now, I know you'll say it's not poetry, it's a song, but the same thing applies. Billy Joel's song Piano Man has the line, 'Making love to his tonic and gin.'
    No he isn't, Billy.There's no such thing as a tonic and gin. It's Gin and Tonic and always will be. That's bugged me for so long but now, like you Tiny Nell, it's off my chest and I feel better for it.
  • Billy Joel's off the list, too. *Doesn't actually know who he is so no loss*
  • heather said:

    But thou so picky shouldn't be

    when thou art reading poetry.

    We minstrels all our best do try

    and such harsh words bring tears to I.

    That's the funniest thing I've read today.
    If it's not allowed I don't want to play.

  • Am loving this with all mine heart

    Would I t'were cleverer at this art

    At poetry I'm not too hot

    Shalt thou forgive me? No, thought not.

  • If you do use 'thou' just now and then
    They tell you where to stick your pen. 😲
  • This has turned into a farce

    No pen is going up my ...nose?

  • Sorry πŸ™
  • Don't know what you're apologising for, Codger.
    This thread is such good fun - and now that there's another serious poetry thread for proper poetry discussion, I hope this anarchic one continues!
  • I don't think Tiny Nell intended her thread to go in this direction. But hey-ho:

    Blizzards said the forecast.
    And that is what we got.
    Sleet and rain with gale force winds,
    That night we got the lot.
    But there was a journey,
    That I just had to make.
    No matter what the dangers were that I found in my wake.
    There comes a time a man must show,
    That he really is a man.
    By striving to complete a task
    That very few others can.
    And so it was I found myself
    Battling through the storm.
    Leaving far behind me,
    Where I was safe and warm.
    Four score and ten years I'll have lived
    If I last just two years longer.
    But I know that I can do this thing,
    And reach that place out yonder.
    So on I press as best I can,
    Though my breathing now is bad.
    I must calm my mind and concentrate
    On the happier times I've had.
    At last I finally reach my goal
    And hear those words that please.
    "What is it we can get you Sir?
    Fish chips and mushy peas?

  • More than happy with the direction of this thread, Codger.

    Thanks for making it sparkle!
  • Love at first site.

    We fell in love immediately
    As soon as our eyes met
    That special day so long ago
    I never shall forget.
    At first I was so nervous
    And didn't know what to do
    But once I'd got her loaded
    It was obvious that she knew.
    I threw caution to the wind
    And now would have my way.
    It did not take me long to find
    That she was game to play.
    We surfed around together
    As happy as can be
    You'd be surprised if I told you
    The things she let me see.
    But now she's old and very slow
    I needed something younger
    By now I'm fairly old myself
    But still retain that hunger.
    I keep her quietly sitting here
     And see her now and then
    But I've move from Windows 95
    On to Windows 10.
  • I've lost track of what I'm doing here. I can't keep saying I'm sorry. Bye. :/
  • He he - nice once, Codger.
  • It’s a great idea to start a poetry thread, Tiny Nell.

    These are the rules I have set for myself over the years for when writing poetry:

    Use a standard typeface: Times Roman, Arial or Calibri, 12pt or 14pt.

    Double space between stanzas not lines.

    Unless it is a shape poem, all lines are justified left.

    Avoid archaic words like: Thou, Hast, Lo, O’er, Thee.

    Spelling, punctuation and grammar should follow the normal rules of modern English language.

    Do not invert the structure of a sentence just to achieve an end rhyme.

    Remember the five senses: Sight, sound, taste, touch, smell.



  • edited March 2019

    I saw thee coming o'er t' hill

    Your footsteps next I heard

    Your lips the tasting at thereof

    As sweet as lemon curd

    Lo! How I longed to touchest thee

    To givest thee mine heart

    But run a mile I did instead

    Remembering your fart

  • Naughty Heather!   >:)  :D
  • *Giggles* You are so good at this, Heather. If you are so good at deliberately bad poems, I have to think you are also good at good ones. Like piano playing. 
  • Don't count on it!
  • What makes a poem 'good' or 'bad'? Keeping to a set of rules, how it makes you feel, or both? Could a 'good' poem make me laugh out loud as Heather has just done?
  • It is a good poem, because it is deliberately making fun of the bad. If the bad wasn't so bad it wouldn't be funny. 

    Of course good poems can make you laugh. I spend half my life trying to write humorous but still good poems. 
  • I don't know what you mean! That's some of my best work!
  • She is telling me that I should read more and she is right. πŸ˜‰
  • Not at all! In fact, there is a limit to what you can read unless you are right by a library. Luckily over the years I've made on of those in my house as when it's your career you have to buy all new books in your field! It's a great resource. 
  • They closed my local library and built new houses on the site despite all opposition. They have called them Library Gardens, my suggestion was Library Close. Having a career writing must be very satisfying and would undoubtedly have been hard earned. My last rhyme contained the lines:
    Why has this landed on my plate?
    A mid-life crisis at eight-eight?

  • well that sounds more cheerful than end-life crisis...
  • heather is our very own Les Dawson!
  • Oh thanks a lot! *manually adjusts bosom*
  • LizLiz
    edited March 2019
    heather said:
    Oh thanks a lot! *manually adjusts bosom*
    *Wonders how you would adjust your bazoomers if not by hand* *wonders abut winches*
  • Not strong enough
  • heather said:
    Not strong enough
    Lol! I favour an over shoulder boulder holder. But only because it rhymes.
  • I'm trying to switch my imagination off. 🧐
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