(With profuse apologies to Mr William Cowper)
I'm a writer who still knocks on doors;
My truth there is none to dispute;
That whatever the agent deplores
Good writing will always bear fruit.
The publishers wait for your gold
But don't let their rules hold you back.
Take heart, gird your loins, and be bold!
They'll soon see that you've got the knack.
Don't submit? Never mind, nothing's barred -
Not really, where talent's not dead.
If a one-page synopsis is hard,
Write a two-page extension instead.
It is true all good writing will win.
Be a faintheart and you won't succeed.
Do your best, write some pearls, send them in,
And the best-seller lists you might lead!
(This little gem was found in Prunella Crabtree's attic when her effects were being sorted out. It was in a pile of rejected typescripts, which she is said to hjaunt.)