Lipograms - complete

Jay Mandal

Jay Mandal

No.253 17th September 2007 – mostly finished
Lipogram – without the letter ‘b’ Word search OK? Y
Word Count 238

“This is stupid. We’ll get caught.” Peter was two years older than me.

“You’re just chicken,” I said, as I reached out again with the stick.

“It’s only a school cap.”

“It’s mine!”

“You can have my old one. Come one, let’s go home.”

“What, and let Anthony think he’s won?”

“He has won. He always does.”

Reluctantly, I turned away and followed him. “What d’you think Mum’ll say?”

“With any luck, she won’t notice. And, if she does, we’ll just say it fell into the canal.”

“I suppose there was a tornado/hurricane in Ipswich,” I said sarcastically.

Peter sighed.

“Stupid cap, anyway.” I swished the stick through the (stinging) nettles. Not a good idea in short trousers, I found.


When we got home, my legs were red and itchy.

Mum looked up from a pile of ironing. “What on earth has happened to you? Oh, never mind. I’ve some good news for you. You’ve passed your Eleven-Plus, and are going to the grammar school in the autumn!” She frowned. “Try to look a little pleased.”

The grammar school’s caps were even worse than ours. I didn’t stand a chance.

“Mrs Smith is very disappointed. Her lad didn’t get in.”

“Anthony? Anthony Smith?” Peter turned to me. “Don’t you see, David?”

“See what?” I said glumly.

“The schools are at opposite ends of the town.”

A slow smile spread across my face/I started to smile.

((“)Grammar school, eh?(”))

The End


Problem words: but, bit, be(en), September
I wonder if Ipswich actually has any canals.

Jenny

If it doesn't, I think we should campaign to get it some!

Tash

Nice story Jay! 
There is a canal in Ipswich - the Alderman Canal.  It used to be part of the River Gipping and is near the Portman Road football ground.

Jay Mandal

Thanks, Tash. Anyone else want to add a complete lipogram here? Or to add to the combined-effort one?

Tash

Here's mine - I did b as well, I hope that's okay! My tricky words included bit, been, better, borrow, bold - and many many more!
Word count 483 Word search OK.

I wish you could have seen that woman who moved in opposite.  Why?  Well, you just should have that’s all.  I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.  She’d got more front than Clacton and her lipstick was plastered on that thick I reckon you could stick her to the wall.  Yesterday she came up to me, cheeky as you like, and said she’d got designs on my other half.  Yes you heard right, my Jim.  Well, I told her, I said she ought to keep her hands off him or she’d find herself in a mess and she laughed out loud.  No, she said, you’ve got it all wrong, Flora, I just want to loan him for a spot.
A spot of what, that’s what I wanted to know and anyway as you know, my name isn’t Flora, it’s Nora. I pointed this out to her and she just laughed, well it was more of a giggle really, and said that Flora or Nora it’s all the same and then she asked if I wore wrinkly stockings.
I ask you!  Anyway in the interests of good relations, I sent him round just as soon as he got in from his allotment and got him to take some spring greens and half a dozen onions (well what do I want with the maggot-infested stuff?).  He took his tool kit with him as well just in case and that was the last I saw of him.
No, that’s right, I haven’t seen him since.  He was there all night.  Mind?  You’re joking aren’t you?  She can keep him and welcome.  I had a nice quiet evening in front of the telly without his cigarette smoke choking me all night.  And when I turned in, I read my novel without him moaning that the light was keeping him awake and I had enough covers to keep me warm.  And when I got up, I didn’t have to stand outside the loo with my legs crossed for half an hour waiting for him.
Oh hang on a tick, that nice fireman wants to talk to me.  I expect he wants to ask me some questions after that explosion last night.  No, love I didn’t hear a thing.  I thought it was funny when my pictures fell off the wall and all the ornaments on the mantelpiece fell over, then I thought it was most likely one of those earthquakes.
You reckon someone over there hammered a nail into a gas pipe and then lit up a cigarette?  No, I can’t say I knew her very well – I only met her yesterday.  I think my old man might have known her though . . .  This?  Well no, I’ve no idea how it got there.  Jim’s hammer.  Must have fallen out of his tool kit as he rushed across the road last night . . .

Jay Mandal

Hi, Tash. It's a bit late in the day, so you'll have to excuse me. What exactly happened with the hammer?