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To cut a long story short, I work hard and conscientiously at a busy and often quite stressful job as a secretary (working for and as part of a team), have had only one day off sick in two years and worry a great deal about keeping on top of things and doing good work. It was hugely demoralising, therefore, to hear from one of the guys I work for that the head honcho in our office had said to him, 'What does Helen do, anyway? She only works for you and B.' (names withheld!)
I know I should ignore this and believe in myself, as I know what the truth of the situation is, but it's very hard not to let it prey on my mind. What it makes me feel now, as I prepare for another week at work, is demotivated and as if a 'couldn't care less' attitude might not be the best way forward. If caring gets me this response, how could things be worse?!
As Sarte said 'hell is other people'. I only wish their opinions didn't matter so much to me. Ah well, I have to keep telling myself that I'm only in this job to give me time to write (and supposedly less mental stress, to give me the mental space!) - and try to let the rest of it be like water off a duck's back. And at least while I'm doing some mindless task, such as stuffing envelopes (because the department who should do it won't), I can think about my novel... It's all nothing compared to what others have to cope with, I know, but sometimes that's hard to rationalise to yourself.
Anyone got any good tips for how to cure myself of ingrained worrying? I don't want to reach 80 and say to myself, 'Crikey, I wish I'd worried less.' I'd like to learn how to do that now and stop wasting time and energy on pointless stuff.
Whatever you decide, I truly think you owe it to your own self-esteem and sense of self-worth to continue providing the top knotch performance you already do - whilst making progress on your own future plans behind the scenes.
I think the Doctor Pepper approach to stress relief is a good one, you know, from the advert - "What's the worst that can happen?". I'll be rootin' for ya!
Hell, I KNOW the NHS would fall apart in a day if all the secretaries walked out! You can normally tell which Consultants' secretaries are on holiday by the glazed expression on their faces and the pile of paperwork teetering on the edge of their desks and sticking out of their coat pockets ...
I used to give my firm so many hours and I actually ended up working myself sick! I wouldn't have time to eat and by the time I got home of an evening all I could do was get myself to bed. (I did this for years and actually ended up receiving 4 years worth of pay cuts! Talk about demoralising...and utterly stupid!) Now, I make sure I perform well during my working hours and I will occasionally put in some extra time - if vital.
The hardest part, I found, is dealing with your conscience. When I started leaving at 5pm each night, I'd have an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over me. Still, I had to be strong and remember that if I didn't look after myself my firm certainly wouldn't! Now, I have more time to myself which is so utterly precious; the thought of giving that up again for my work just seems completely mad!
Hippo, just hold on to what you know. You know that you have worked hard and have made sure the work has been done. You can prove that. These people that bitch and make hurtful passing comments are really not worth the time of day. I once had a colleague ask me what I did all day and I replied "it's called work. I'd sit here and show you but I don't have enough time to go through it all."
Thanks for the usual Talkbacker wit and wisdom (and long-distance cyber hugs) to cheer a girl up and make her realise she's not the only one! Oh yes, and fictionalising it all is a definite plan for the future.
I've felt better over the last two days, partly as a result of trying to care less and to take things less to heart, while still doing a good job, and partly as a result of sharing the comment with colleagues. The all round jaw-dropping confirmed to me that it's him (head honcho) that has the problem not me - as one of the other secretaries said 'You know, and we know, what you do.' Those who work directly with me do know what I do and my officers very much value my work.
The comment was passed on to me with the best of intentions (too long a story to go into), by one of the guys I mainly work for - I think he just underestimated how sensitive I am. You can be sure that having to deal with a teary-eyed female (and don't men enjoy that?!) will make him think twice about that kind of intervention in future.
I think it's the old, old story, as some of you have also experienced, of anyone who is good/efficient/dedicated being taken advantage of and taken for granted.
Mad DD, you're right to some degree - most of the officers we work for fall apart when their own regular secretary is off, even though the rest of us cover for them. My mum gave me a mug which says something to the effect of 'Secretaries are loyal, efficient, dedicated and secretly rule the world'!
I'll be sticking it out for the benefit of my writing for some while yet and then financial reasons will probably lure me elsewhere - living on a shoestring is starting to lose its novelty value! I've got about £3 to the end of the week for food beans it is, then.
PS Ironically, I work for a union - join one, just don't work for one (Carol, no, we have no JDs or reviews!!!)
Says a lot doesn't it. You work for a union, but don't have a job description-ironic.
It's taken me 49 years for me to learn this otherwise Buddhist response.... for it means, essentially, let them be themselves (their nasty selves, if you like) and you get on, pleasantly, with being YOURself!