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Suggestions to avoid repetition
Two orangutans each hung by one incredibly long arm from a palm tree. In the hand of their free arm, they each clutched a side of Martha’s swing seat.
I'm not happy with the repetition of the word 'each' in the above extract. I had removed the first one, but it was suggested that it should be there. Any suggestions?
Comments
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In the hands of their free arms, they clutched either side of Martha’s swing seat.
(I think you need the plurals anyway, as otherwise it sounds like they're sharing the one arm.)
I think it'd be obvious the arm they hung from and the arm they clutched the seat with were different. 'Free' arm is less clear as they're both using both arms and don't have a free one.
Or:
Two orangutans each hung by one incredibly long arm from a palm tree. With their free hands, they clutched a side of Martha’s swing seat.
Two orangutans hung by their incredibly long arms from a palm tree. With their free hand each clutched a side of Martha’s swing seat.
Liz, the plastic orangutans are still holding up well under the circumstances, you'll be pleased to know.
Just to play devil's advocate for a moment, is the palm tree bowed or growing at an angle? They tend to grow straight upwards, and their vertical trunks don't have branches, so I'm wondering what the orang-utans are actually hanging from...
(That implies that Liz is a) an orangutan or b) lost. Sorry.)
Martha is a child who has everything -but company. She has a dream bedroom in a turret of Lottery Lodge (too detailed to describe here), a glass-walled circular playroom below it full of unique toys, a bathroom like an undersea kingdom, a voice-activated lift, a lit staircase where every step plays a different sound, a corridor where the walls are fish tanks, an internal chute... blah, blah, blah.
Her father employs a genius toy inventor. This unusual swing is just one of the many things in the grounds of Lottery Lodge. She also has a life-size (plastic) giraffe which is a slide and a see-saw for one which is an elephant trunk which goes up and down.
No animals were harmed in the making of this play area.
I changed my un-hyphenated version to a hyphenated one when the dreaded red wriggly line appeared under my original word choice and the suggestion offered was hyphenated. I then Googled orangutans to make sure and, lo and behold, there was no hyphen so I went back to my original unhyphenated version.
I hate hyphens.
Incidentally, does anyone else think Orang-U-Tan should be the name of a beauty parlour favoured by the likes of the Made In Chelsea brigade?