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To wear or not to wear- HAT is the question
Is a stepmother of the bride expected to wear a haughty hat or a flashy fascinator? Or should she fade into the background?
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yes dorothy the 'real' me would say ha ha and buy the biggest hat i could find (and preferably poke out someones eye with it!!!) but being a well behaved peace maker type I tend to take on the role of grown-up in the face of other peoples family feuds. I want to do my partner (father of the bride) proud as its his Big Day too and I get on fine with my stepdaughter and her groom and want to make an effort for them. However, I know from experience that I will get plenty of abuse from the brides mother whatever I do. (The groom has given instructions to two of his bouncer friends to watch her for any sign of trouble). I'm not really a hat person but suppose I should take my credit and not be just another guest. Oh dilemma! I should really like to be invisible for the day but I know that's such a feeble copout! Thanks for your comments, I'm sure I shall have the most WUNNERFUL time...:D
But this September I have been invited to a wedding in the role of 'supporter of the mother of the groom' (honestly). Said mother of groom, my best friend, is nervous because she will have to meet all her ex-in-laws for the first time in years, so I am going to be there as someone to lean on. No colour restrictions this time, though, so I will probably wear my favourite colour, red!
If I were you - I'd wear whatever makes you feel comfortable, confident and proud.
Good luck. :)
you're right shellw - but I don't want to relax too much - I want to see those punches coming! :D
Fascinator it is Carol, I'm going to find one to make me stand six feet tall - well bigger than my 5feet 2 anyway...:D
Thes have headbands attached and would be an alternative
some were £69!!! The one I am considering is £22, still a fortune for something I'll maybe wear only once. My favourite headwear are my Minnie Mouse ears which were £4 from the Disney Store, they are complete with a red/white polka dot bow and will be worn on the Hen Night! If that doesn't get me used to something daft on my head I don't know what will :D
I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. I'll be wearing a hat. My role is 'crazy cousin' so I can wear pretty much anything I like.
Well done Norwich City (not a supporter of them myself but know how good it feels!)
Black?
A couple of weeks ago I was in almost the same position as you now find yourself, DS. I was stepmother of the groom who (whom?) I've raised since he was four years old. Still, I was naturally worried and very tense in the lead up to the big day, not helped by the fact that his maniacal biological mother made quite sure she was involved, boots 'n' all, in much of the organisation, which put me on the back foot right from the get go. After all, it's the bride's day and what is there for a mere stepmother to the groom have to do with anything?
Like you, I was conflicted. Do I play my usual meek role of easy going "add on" parent who slinks around the peripherals of the event by not making waves and leaving the spotlight clear for the so-called "real" parents, or do I throw my ample chest out, push my way up to the mark and make it look like I more than belong? In this country we are, thank goodness, much more relaxed about etiquette so unless it's a particularly posh affair, the general rule of thumb is that no headwear is worn, so that's one hurdle I fortunately didn't have to cross - whew! (Glad you now have your headgear sorted)
In the end, I smiled a lot, laughed a lot, stuck 'very' close to those near and dear to me whom I knew would give me some psychological support (real or imagined) and basically bluffed my way through the entire day. To cut this very long story short, I dug my heels in and no, I did not fade into the background. You go, girl!!!!!
and a black fascinator to complement OH black tails (the silver grey goes with his top hat and gloves). My generation would not have dreamed of wearing black to a wedding but these young things....well.... the bridal gown has a black bodice and an enormous ivory skirt and the bride will quite possibly be wearing big black biker boots underneath. On the bright(?) side my somewhat thrifty OH pointed out the additional benefits of a black fascinator - "you'll be able to wear it for funerals!"...:D
IG - thanks for your words - good to hear from someone in the same boat, your phrase 'slinks around on the peripherals" struck a chord. Doesn't matter how long we're around (in my case nearly two decades) we're still the add-ons who don't really belong. I'm going to take your lead and stick my chest out and be proud (and who knows, I might even stuff the chicken fillets back in...;D)