Feeling like giving in

Emma B

Yesterday was a very bad day.

I got home to two rejections, one from TAB, one from Woman's Weekly. Then I spent 45mins trying to get my laptop to work so I could at least plod on with NaNoWriMo.

Got all upset last night. Am I wasting my time with all this? I just seem to be hitting a brick wall and at the moment I can't see myself getting anywhere with it.

Carol

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Emma))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Go and make yourself your favourite drink and grab a bar of chocolate. Eat and absorb the feel good feelings.
WHAT YOU ARE FEELING AT THE MOMENT IS NORMAL!!! :)

Take it from all of us, the brick wall really isn't that big, and it's actually just paper, and you can just walk through it or climb over it.
Believe in yourself.

Red

No don't give up. Never give up. Determination is an amazing thing. We've all been there and done that. But put it down to experience, take it on the chin, pick yourself up and grab the bull by the horns and crack on.

You're not wasting your time; whatever you write is part of the learning process because you learn more about yourself as a writer. Doesn't matter whether it's good or bad or indifferent. That's how we all become better writers.

Liz

Everyone feels like that from time to time Emma. You'll feel better soon, I guarantee, as soon as you've written another story hope will re-surface and each story you write will be better and have an even better chance.

Good luck for next time, and send the stories out again immediately while you write the next one.

collide-o-scope

But tomorrow is another day :-)

It may not be that your work was not good enough - work is rejected for reasons other than poor quality. Perhaps you didn't write it in the style they are looking for. Studying the market is one of the fundamentals of any writing tutorial and I was on the People's Friend website recently and they can't stress enough the importance of studying back issues so that you can tailor your submission to fit in with their style. Apologies if you have done this already. It could also be that someone else has submitted a similar article or maybe it just wasn't for them. Rejection doesn't automatically mean poor quality work.

I certainly wouldn't throw in the towel.

Good luck.

flyingtart

The funny thing about rejections is the way they gang up on you and all arrive together. At times like this remind yourself why you're doing it. Think how much fun it is, creating worlds in your head. That's very special, and nothing can touch it.

niddy

bad luck Emma, I had three rejections this week so you're not alone - never give up even when frustration hits you again and again. I was readig womagwriter blogspot last night, an interview with a novelist, very inteesting to read that she wasn't succesful for a long time but kept going.

keep going and neer give up

Summer Solstice

The number of times I've decided, "that's it, I give up" when I've had a wad of rejections ... then one or two acceptances have started to come in and I've been frantically scribbling to catch up on my "given up" time! Did somebody say TAB are doing their mass-mailing of rejections at the mo? Ohhh, and our post hasn't arrived yet. I may be in "giving up" mode again later. ONLY KIDDING! Keep writing :-)

*SA*

I've said on another thread that I've just sent off my novel to agents, and out of 8 I've had 2 rejections up to now. I was upset yesterday, but keep myself going with the rejection statistics of others who've since made it big -- Twilight had 14 rejections before an agent picked it up; everyone rejected Harry Potter before JKR was picked up. Goes to show that even the best of us have a tough time of it.
Don't give up. Use this hardship to fuel your writing, and I'm sure your determination will pay off.

(((((emma)))))

*SA*

Amanda

hi emma have a big hug from me. I've felt like that for months now but without the benefit of finishing pieces that are good enough for publication. I applaud your efforts and the fact that you have got work 'out there'. there will allways be people who don't like what you've written but there will allways be editors that will. Be brave, send it out again and eat chocolate...

big hugs (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((emma))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

St Force

Never give up, ever. Thats my moto. Perhaps you can write about this on paper? Then when your laptop is working add it to your NaNoWriMo story?

forget-me-not

Don't give up Emma, we've picked a hard course of life with this writing lark, but if you keep plodding on you will get accepted. Rewrite and send them somewhere else, what isn't right for them could be perfect for someone else.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((EMMA))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

doodle

We all get days like that Emma, I had a rejection from Womans Weekly yesterday, but I was saved from a downer because Writing Magazine turned up in the same post and so I had new competitions to get on with. If I'm having a 'bad day' writing wise I get round to all those little household tasks that I really hate instead - descaling the shower head, de-dung-ing the garden of cat doings, defuzzing the skirting boards, whatever. Then when I'm feeling more into my writing I can get on with it knowing that at least the house is tidy!!!

josiehenley

Hi Emma, I’ll add my support to the others (isn’t that great about TB?). We are the downtrodden and isolated, but together we are strong. Rejections can feel like hell but you have to use them to make you stronger. I read that Stephen King had a rejection spike when he started out, like one of those spikes that business people use to put receipts on, and each rejection he added to it made him more determined, and each acceptance went up on the wall.

In 2006 I had a blitz over the summer and wrote and submitted 19 stories for competitions. Only one came back as a winner, but that made all the difference. Legend published the story in their 2007 collection and then the following year published my novel. But I still remember how hard it was to keep on sending those stories out even with the knowledge that they would likely come to nothing. And believe it or not it’s still hard to write now because the self-doubt remains even after a success like that.

Onwards and upwards troops! Things can only get better.

Hugs to you Emma.

Betsie

Emma - think of your rejection slips as a badge of honour. Only people who actually write something and send it out receive a rejection. Lots of would-be writers never even get that far. It means you are not a procrastinator - you actually get something done and send it out. Keep at it and one day you WILL be successful.

HisanoXelax

*hugs Emma* it's okay, just a few bugs on the windshield.

Rosalie

Can only echo what the others say. Rejections are horrible. You sort of get used to them but they never stop hurting and as someone said, they always seem to come in bunches. Even when you've been published you still get them and suffer enormous crises of confidence. I am reading a biography of Virginia Woolf, one of the greatest writers of the 20th century. Although she wasn't rejected (she and her husband bought their own printing press and set up shop as publishers!) she suffered terrible doubts each time a new book of hers came out. She battled on for years despite debilitating illness. That cheers me up (a bit!) when I'm feeling down.

Woll22

(((((((((big hugs from me too)))))) It all goes with the territory and according to my WB tutor, writing is a great way towards your own character building. Sheer tenacity does win through in the end. My aunt [incidentally one of my god parents] always said that practice makes perfect or near enough. Just believe in yourself, positively and good luck

Emma B

Thanks everyone. I just always struggle with this time of year so all of this does not help. I'm going to have a relaxing evening I think. I'll feel alright soon its one of those things when I'm this way out I'm my own worst enemy.

Thanks to all, I don't know what I would do without TB xxx

Daisy

We've all been there and know how it feels, Emma. I hope you'll feel a bit stronger and more positive after your relaxing evening. It's a right pain and so discouraging, but the rejections are part of the journey if you're a writer. I think if they come with some useful feedback it's more helpful. Just let them make you even more determined!
Big hug from me too (((((Emma))))

shadowpen

[quote= Daisy]We've all been there and know how it feels[/quote]

True...so true...Look at me I've been on the verge of giving up for the past five years...still here...still pounding away at the keyboard. Think of it this way, it's helping you develop a thick skin, so you can cope with all those jealous b****** that will say terrible things about you in blogs when you earn your fifth million.

Stirling

Don't give up Emma.

I'm finding out right now that between essays and being unemployed (first time for me), writing is saving my sanity!

Joanne

I can only echo what others have already said. We all hit that brick wall sometimes, lose faith, and question whether we should bother carrying on with the writing at all. I really enjoyed reading a post by Cally Taylor on Womagwriter's blog this week, and she too talks about the point when she felt like giving up.

http://www.womagwriter.blogspot.com

Carol

That was a good piece Joanne- I read it yesterday and it does make you feel better.

ceka

Wolfie - yesterday (I was bemoaning to KateyAnne) I had THREE rejections.
I am not giving up: all three will be out again by the end of the week. And no doubt they'll be back by New Year.
How long have you been doing this?
Exactly. Not very long.
Never give up. You just haven't hit a sweet spot with anyone yet, but you will - even though it'll take time.
I know perfectly well you don't really want to give up, anyway. You need that cup of tea, a good scream (we're listening) and then you need to sit down and try again. Write by hand if you have to, who says you need a computer to write!
You can do it. Nobody said it would be quick or easy. The more you write, the better you get, the better you get, the more you send out, the more you send out - by the law of averages - the chance of you getting a 'winner' is much higher.
Now - blow your nose. Chin up. Grit teeth in determined fashion.
Repeat after me: I can do this, I can do this, I can do this
Good luck. Thinking of you. We've all been there ... and we all still get rejections too - only we call them 'rewrites' or something if we don't like the word!

Stan2

It is always too soon to give up!

Stan2

So NEVER give up.

Carol

Ever.

ttofee

Emma, have been there myself - I just think what would I do if I didnt write - which I didnt for quite a few years, having given up. Keep plugging away - it'll come togethr :)

dora

This title reminds me of that song "Feel like making love ...." :) Ooh now, there's something to write about.

Tanya

((((((((big hugs))))))))

I'm sure you'll get a lucky break soon, so don't give up. As Betsie said it's only the people who submit their work who can get a rejection slip, so even though it's a negative blip - and one that can change into a positive - at least your work is being submitted and being given a chance :) Those who don't submit won't get anything in return for their efforts, so you've already achieved more than them by having the courage to send your stories out in the first place.

Lolli

Emma. rejection is not failure. Only those who don't try fail. You are tryint, ergo you cannot be a failure. I know itr is hard for oyu ar this time of year, Have you got one of theose sad lamps? Might help. As for the rejections coming together that's down to the stupid post office strikes. If the psot hadn't been messed up they'd ahve probably coem two weeks apart and it wouldn't have felt nearly so bad.
In teh words of teh song:

Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, start all over again! (must have been written for writers) You can do it gal, and get your laptop fixed :D :D

Kangaroo

Hi Emma, try thinking of it this way; you're narrowing down the field of magazines that would be interested in your writing. I don't know if that will help. Goodluck!
(((((((((((Emma)))))))))))))

josiehenley

I love the idea of rejections being a badge of honour. Yes indeed! They are proof that you’ve got off your backside and over to the postbox. This thread should be read by anyone who’s having self-doubts, there’s a lot of good stuff here.

doodle

Hope you have a better day today Emma B. Wise words quoted on todays diary page are from Franklin D Roosevelt "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on". And a quote from Marty Feldman "The pen is mightier than the sword and considerably easier to write with"

Winter does seem to make everyday things seem a bit of a slog at times, I'm going to get an eco bulb, an energy
saving lightblub which is said to 'closely replicate daylight' (said by those who are charging 9.99 a pop for them I hasten to add - they're unlikely to say nah, they're rubbish) Anyway, I am going to try one. I'll let you know if it's any good.
Lightblub? Did I type that? oh well, a lightblub is when life gets on top of me and I have a quick cry to relieve the pressure. Call My Bluff anyone?

Marc.B

Em, if I could sing this I would:

Don't give up
'cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'cause I believe there's the a place
There's a place where we belong - in the sometimes lonely world of writing

Marc.B

febes

I know it may not feel like it, but would like to say 'Woo hoo! You got a rejection!' I am not stark raving mad. Just very pleased that your work is out there, trying to make some money for you.

Don't give up!

As Dory in Finding Nemo would say:

Hey Mr Grump Gills
You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
What do we do we swim, swim, swim
OH HO HO How I love to swim
When you WAAAAAANNTTT to swim you want to swim

Emma B

Wow febes that made me smile!!

I am feeling a bit better. I've had a good rest and am giving myself a bit of a kick. It is the time of year too. I thought about getting a sad lightbox thing but theyre like £100 and only work if you suffer from SAD and I'm not even sure if it is just down to that.

The laptop problem is sorted anyhow. The OH and I treated ourselves to a new one. I know it is a bit of an extravagence but the wedding is costing less than expected and a laptop is a necessity for us!!

I don't know what I'm doing with NaNo at the moment with the days of lost it would be a good achievement to pick it back up and catch up, either way I am not going to give up on my writing, it helps keep me sane and is part of me.

Thank you all so much xxxx

febes

Glad it made you smile Emma.

So glad you won't give up on your writing.

Piper

[quote=febes]Hey Mr Grump Gills
You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
What do we do we swim, swim, swim
OH HO HO How I love to swim
When you WAAAAAANNTTT to swim you want to swim [/quote]

WOOOO!! Go Dory!! I always say that to dad when he's down, Cheer up mr gumpy giles...

Emma, I hope you feel, and things improve soon. :)

josiehenley

I sing that just keep swimming song to myself sometimes too! Love the 'don't give up song' I have a copy of Tracy Chapman singing that at the Nelson Mandela concert and can still hear it in my head. lovely

robin1

Take it from me that is no reason to give up.

As has been said it is a wall, but one you can get through with a little perseverance you will get through.

I am hoping to get through myself...If I fail to do so I am very much considering going at it with hammer. Then it'll break...lol

Good luck though, but you wont need it.

:)

Phots Moll

All the best writers get rejects.

ceka

(You lot are all out of tune)
Kick on, Wolfie. Your time will come

Randomguy

It's a tough one, getting knocked back all the time. I've had so much of that, but this year has been special, with lots of stuff happening, but I am under no illusion that next year, I may not see anything happen... Will it feel bad? Yeah it will, because it doesn't matter what you did, or at least for me, it only matters what you are doing.

So write for yourself. Write to make yourself laugh or cry or feel sad or happy. Write because it's raining outside. Write because the clouds are pretty tonight. Write because something you have seen affects you deeply. Write because you want to be silly.

Just write. Just write.

ceka

All true, RG. Very true, and I'm sure many of us do

Enjoy the writing journey, everyone, because that may be all there is.

But still, those who wish to be published - dream on, write on, kick on

niddy

with you there ceka, after a successful year, I received three rejections this week - was I downhearted, not a bit of it, all will be sent somewhere else another womag or even a comp if a story fits the bill - the more rejections the stronger my determination is:)

magic15

Hi Emma

I feel that way most times, I have sat by laptop and tried to write but failled, I have the idea but the motivation or inspiration lacking the main thing is to perserve if you quit then your book will never written and there's a saying 'Write or get written of'. The main thing is keep reading lots of genres even the ones your not going to write about, just sit and think and do research if necessary that I what I do.
At the moment I am trying to write a childrens story that is a detective thriller however I feel I am like you only going round in a circle at present either writing or not so to speak so take a deep breath and then commence.. let me know how you do just out of curiousity.
Anyone got anything else to add, just getting a bit fustrating at times.
Phil.

SusieM

I've just got my first two rejections of the year and if it wasn't for this thread, and a few others, I'd have felt like Emma did in November. With all the advice and encouragement from fellow TBers I'm a lot more philosophical than I would have been a year ago. When I've had rejections before it's taken me a couple of weeks of sulking and despair before I've picked myself up and got back to writing- now I just get on with it.

I particularly like PM's message: 'All the best writers get rejects.'

I don't contribute much but I do soak up all the advice and support. Thanks :-)

louise

At least you're getting rejections. I send submissions and then.... nothing. I'm honestly thinking of hitting the submission malarkey on the head and concentrate on self publishing for good!

I don't think it has anything to do on whether we're good or bad, but that agents or whatever are so bloody arrogant they don't think it matters if they acknowledge us or not. {Having a moment, soz}, as for your rejections I DO feel for you. It's demoralising, but we're all in the same (rocky) boat - although mine's submerged at the moment.

Join me in vodka and chocolate?

SusieM

Mine are short story rejections, Louise, I wish I could get to the stage where I was getting rejections for the novel. I'm on the third draft but haven't done anything on it in ages (I'm not sure if subconsciously I'm scared to finish it and risk the rejections or I'm just the best procrastinator in the world).

It's bad that you're not even getting acknowledgement, I'd not thought about that side. Then again, if they are that arrogant would you want them representing you anyway? Good luck with your book, whichever way you decide to go.

I'll certainly join you in vodka and chocolate. Here's to us. Chink glasses.