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Writing?.....Well bloody lucky you!!
So, as i'm more a viewer than a contributor of the wonderful Talkback forum many of you will not know that i am a soldier currently out in Afghanistan. Now, the other day...week...month, i forget when it was, i wrote emphatically about how a particular incident with Mr Taliban had inspired me to write. It was brilliant, i had never written so much in my life....okay not true, but between lulls of firing off a few bullets, i had furiously poured all of my anger into the writing pad (i actually think Nano and the 3 day novel comps would have had their work cut out!!). So you can imagine my dismay when upon returning to my little piece of home, a camp bed with tarpaulin for shade, a truck which cleans out Portaloos decided to reverse into said Portaloos and proceed to push them onto my makeshift palace, i think you get the picture. It just so bloody well happens that my notebooks were strategically positioned where no nosey Squaddie could get his hands on them, but alas not escape the dredges of human waste.
*In conjunction with British Army policy, to prevent the outbreak of disease all items of clothing etc. spoilt by human faeces must be incinerated in situ.*
Well, i complained furiously and told the powers of be to stick their policy where it would hurt the most, not really thinking how i was to save my blessed poo and pee stained pages anyway, but i fought them to the bitter end, the end being petrol and a match. To save face and my reputation as a rough tough soldier i sniffed back the tears, commenting that something was in my eye, and turned away from my smouldering notebooks.
So, if you are writng...well don't store them next to a portaloo, because it causes a whole world of........!!
*In conjunction with British Army policy, to prevent the outbreak of disease all items of clothing etc. spoilt by human faeces must be incinerated in situ.*
Well, i complained furiously and told the powers of be to stick their policy where it would hurt the most, not really thinking how i was to save my blessed poo and pee stained pages anyway, but i fought them to the bitter end, the end being petrol and a match. To save face and my reputation as a rough tough soldier i sniffed back the tears, commenting that something was in my eye, and turned away from my smouldering notebooks.
So, if you are writng...well don't store them next to a portaloo, because it causes a whole world of........!!
Comments
I'm doing Nano but the shit I'm putting on the page is of a different kind. ;)
Is there anywhere else you can safely store anything?
Feel for you. Good luck!
Stay safe.
You can try, Warchild, but it can only ever be a sanitised version of the original.
But you will come back again from a sortie and be in the same mood, need the same outlet for your emotion - and that one you will write straight from the heart ... and store in waterproofs Nowhere Near a Portaloo.
PS, wasn't Portaloo one of Nelson's sea-battles?
Keep at it, Warchild, we're rootin' for you ...
Some TBers above have caught onto the thread of humour running through your opening post, and it is funny when you put it like you did. Have you thought of coming at your wartime experiences from this angle. It looks like you could carry it off and it would certainly be different from the writing of other troops who 'put it all down in writing' against the day it's all over. Of course you would have to be sensitive, treating with injuries and loss of life in a humorous book, or humorous articles for the papers.
Just a thought.
Good luck.
Hope you can protect the next ones, or as said find a way to send them electronically.
All the best.
Oh and look on the bright side, while your writing may have been the next Booker Prize winner, it might also have been the on that the agent called a pile of sh*t. At least that's one less rejection letter! :)
PS i DO sympathise with you really. I just lost 6000 words of purple prose last night, because the computer shut itself down!!!
Ok so you've lost your work...maybe you could use the emotions you are feeling about your lost work to write something else [that is a fancy way of repeating what people have said about using your experience in your writing].
But it's not the end of the world [as the Lost Prophets say] although it may seem like it...it happens to us all.
Afghanistan - and I think it's difficult writing sat at home!
Keep at it - don't give up.
It's a good point that those of us who can write and keep our work safe are lucky - there are people who've lost their homes or suffered other misfortunes for whom this just isn't possible.
(And were Wellington Boots worn at the Battle of Portaloo? Can't believe it was on dry land, with a name like that)
Warchild, we're all hoping you'll do some more writing, cos Dwight's right - as he so often is - your line in humour is great, and particularly under the stresses you're under, admirable.
(Tosh, put me right: is an Admirable the leader of the Portaloo crowd or the wet bunch?)
Admirable? Portaloo? Surely you must be referring to the Time Lord himself, Doctor pWho and the Turdis?
Is that admirable or admiral? ;)
I deny it - I am not Tony's mum!!!
Damn! you've discovered my secret. Now I shall have to kill you and eat you!
[quote=Dwight]Been reading too much Dan Brown, perhaps?[/quote]
surely thou jesteth! his stories are ok, but not unmissable
So sorry, Warchild.
This is called 'Going Off Topic'
We did try not to do it, but have got carried away again.
Back on topic please, this is Warchild's Fred
(Looks round to see if Ceka is watching and as she isn't ... :rolleyes: )
(Suspects Ceka is about and quickly switches into posh mode)
I say, Lolli. Your mama and papa wouldn't approve of you articulating in that common manner.