Welcome to Writers Talkback. If you are a new user, your account will have to be approved manually to prevent spam. Please bear with us in the meantime

Need Ideas For This Chapter Of My Horror Novel

I am currently writing the first chapter of the new novel I am writing. The story line is that a 15 year old girl has nightmares while in a comma yet she doesn't know that to the end. The climax is she gets to scared she tries to kill herself and we see a glimpse of her at the hospital almost dying. A few nightmares later she awakens to her friends and family surrounding her hospital bed. and she discovers what happened. Please read the file attached as this is what I have done so far would love some ideas or improvements. I'm also not sure whether I should keep each nightmare as separate chapters.
Thanks for your help and support.

Comments

  • I've not read the extract, but I see a number of spelling, grammar and style mistakes in your message. If you can eradicate all of these from your writing, that would be a great start.
  • Hmm. It might be a virus for a start so I wouldn't be downloading that, 
  • I think you need to reassure members that you're genuine, beamaiedwards before anyone is going to risk clicking on your document.
    With all due respect, I have to echo what GeraldQ has said about the errors in your post as it doesn't inspire confidence. 
    You say: ' I am currently writing the first chapter of the new novel I am writing.'
    Do you therefore have published novels that you could tell us about so that we know you're genuine? 

  • What they said - members of this forum interact with each other, not simply come on here for free advice.
    If you're genuine you are very welcome, if not, not.
  • Hello, Bea, and welcome.

    Would you like to leave an introductory post so that the members know a little bit about you?

    We tend to get lots of spam which is why we are wary of clicking on links.

    Hope you return to the forum.
  • I suggest not having chapters of 15,000 words, and changing the ending to something a little less cliched than the mc waking up to find it was all a dream.
  •  :D 
  • Oh. Our new friend didn't come back...
  • It would appear not.
    Can you imagine if someone had taken the trouble to download and critique her chapter/s?
  • Well, PM seems to have read some of it.
  • But PM's comments refer to the information given in B's opening post. I doubt if she opened the link.
  • Claudia said:
    PM's comments refer to the information given in B's opening post. I doubt if she opened the link.
    You're right, I didn't open it. Even so, I believe I've given good advice.
  • Oh, you certainly did! Shame B never came back to read it.
Sign In or Register to comment.