› ›
Welcome to Writers Talkback. If you are a new user, your account will have to be approved manually to prevent spam. Please bear with us in the meantime

WHAT A CARRY ON!

Marc.BMarc.B
edited January 2008 in - Writing Tales
As the Panto season is over how about we start a Carry On?: 'Carry on up Your Talkback.' The setting is a cake factory somewhere in England. It's owned by Bunn E Gal (played by Jenny, Carol) We can have Skulky Stan - in charge of tarts. Marc the Manager - trying to run the place and keep order. Chip in with your own characters and what you do. Scene 1 on bakery floor.

Marc: 'Oooh, Miss Bunn, look at the size of your baps!'
Bunn: 'Ere, stop messing abart you cheeky devil. I've 'ad one in the oven for a long time'
Marc: 'Mind you I do like a Victoria Sandwich, Victoria. come over here. I fancy a nibble'

Comments

  • scratchscratch
    Arthur [union shop steward]: 'Ay up! Yer can't say that - that's sex-u-al 'arrasment, that is! I'll 'ave all me comrades out t'gate if y'carry on!'
  • Marc.BMarc.B
    Eccles (as in cake) 'Ere Mr Marc, can I be sexually 'arrassed too. I puts 'oles in doughnuts all bleedin' day I does withart so much as a peep?'

    Arthur Slabb: 'Ek as like Ms Eccles, thy thinks y'r bad examle on the rest as like. As rep for ty Cake Cutters and Dough Kneeders I must lodge complaint in't strongest possible terms.' Eeee as like.
  • CarolCarol
    " Now this is our main floor, as you can see everyone gets on extremely well." Bunn E Gal was escorting a grey suited woman, her hair was done up in a bun, and she wore black framed glasses. She stood poised with her pen and notebook.
    " Everyone this is the time and motion expert that the Board have called in, to help improve production. Miss
  • Marc.BMarc.B
    edited January 2008
    Brother Slabb: 'Time un't motion, No one consulted t' union. Eck as like, this is a threat on't current working practices, this is.'

    Harry Ardunn: 'I'm in charge of currents, wots the problem? Oooo , miss,' looking up at T&M lady's head, 'who did your bun?

    Enter onto shop floor Sam Skidd. 'Eee gaffer, lavvie won't flush. I been in there for an hour checking runners and riders like and 'ad to use me hands to unblock pan. Also, soaps been nicked again.'

    Bunn E Gal. 'Mr Skidd, go back to yopur workplaceand continue filling and cutting sandwiches this instant'.

    Eccles: 'Sam likes a good filling, d'nt ya Sam.' tee hee.
  • coopercooper
    Just wanted to say hi to Marc and congrats on finally getting out of the clutches of the old system.

    Will have to think about this thread for a while.
  • JosetteJosette
    Dishevelled worker rushes in, closing her umbrella and showering everyone with rainwater. Her name is Nora Lottuptop.

    Nora Lottuptop: 'Sorry I'm late Bunn. I missed me bus an' ad to walk. It's teken me awers. I'm soaked to me pants!'

    Bunn: 'Ithought you only lived in Clakett Street'

    'Nora: 'Yea but first stop is end of Jackson Street, then opposite Morrisons.. I had to wait ages at Park Road lights, the'd been an accident.'

    Aurthur: 'You don't have to follow the chuffin' bus route Nora when you're not actually on the bus!'

    Nora looks confused and crestfallen.

    Bun: 'Go and get your overall on Nora and stop chuckin that wet brolly about.'

    Nora disappears to get changed.
  • scratchscratch
    Arthur [shouting to all across the shop floor]: OK bruthers! Aahm callin' a meetin' at t'cycle sheds in ten minutes!

    Nora [dashing out of the ladies doing up the last button]: I'm not yuh bruther! I'm a girl, you plonker!
  • Marc.BMarc.B
    Arthur: 'Blummin' wimmin's rights, Ilkley Moor b'tat I say.'

    Bunn: 'Here Mr Slabb, can't we sort this out without you adopting that position?'

    Arthur: 'What position would like to adopt then Bunn? arf arf'

    (raucous laugh from workers)

    Bunn: 'Oooo, Mr Slabb, I'm so embarrassed I'll have to pop out for a bit.'

    (even louder laugh)
  • coopercooper
    Enter poptart who has just had a bit with Bunn.

    Poptart: 'Arthur I want to put a clainm in for being toasted without marmite.' Poptart was actually quite posh. (not that Victoria Beckham knew anything about it)
  • Marc.BMarc.B
    You really must see this thread as an excercise in characterization, storyline/plotting, use of double entendre and humour. Now let's pick this up and see what we can do. Coops, try and develop Poptart but what is his/her gender?

    Arthur Slabb: (shop steward) 'okay bruvvers, it's one out - ALL OUT!'

    Nora, holding two ring doughnuts up to her eyes: 'Ooo, Mr Slabb you do like getting them out don't you.'
  • Marc.BMarc.B
    It's all going a bit strange.
  • Marc.BMarc.B
    This is a test
  • doradora
    When does Panto season start again?
  • NefertariNefertari
    October isn't it?
  • CarolCarol
    Only three months to go.
  • Stan2Stan2
    Enters Pea Nutt with his cousin But Ter.
  • Stan2Stan2
    Albert Square (foreman) 'Why are wearing those silly hats?'
  • Stan2Stan2
    But Ter: 'Because Pea is a Nutt'.
  • CarolCarol
    [quote=dora]When does Panto season start again? [/quote]
    [quote=kateyanne]October isn't it? [/quote]

    Oh no it isn't!!!!
  • doradora
    I think if you look at the noticeboard Carol you will see it is written, that it is.

    Look behind you!
  • CarolCarol
    Where? ;)
  • Stan2Stan2
    Over there!
  • Stan2Stan2
    'In Ware?' shouted the shop floor girls.
  • Stan2Stan2
    .
  • doradora
    Going dotty Stan?
  • Stan2Stan2
    'Ah!' exclaimed Mr Dot Ty from Hung Hi.
  • Stan2Stan2
    At that moment along came Miss Lon Ley from Heartlepool who was crying.
  • Stan2Stan2
    edited July 2009
    She so wanted to meet Prince Charming. Then she saw a smiling frog so she ...
  • Stan2Stan2
    kicked him and said...
  • Emma BEmma B
    Haven't seen Mark on here for a wee bit
  • Stan2Stan2
    We hope Mark doesn't wee here for a bit! ;)
  • Stan2Stan2
    Meanwhile, in the land where the bongo drums sound...
  • Island GirlIsland Girl
    [quote=Stan2]Enters Pea Nutt with his cousin But Ter. [/quote]
    When my daughter was little she had lots of imaginary friends. Two of them were Peana and Budder.
  • Jay MandalJay Mandal
    Not the land where the Bong-tree grows, Stan?
  • Stan2Stan2
    They grow whenever the bongo drums sound!
  • Stan2Stan2
    And wherever the Rang goes atan.
  • CarolCarol
    except when it's raining when it goes Pitter and Patter...
  • Stan2Stan2
    And the crows natter and ratter.
Sign In or Register to comment.