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Feeling a wee bit blue - what would you feel if someone did not wish you a happy birthday etc?
You may think I am behaving like a childish spoilt brat but I feel a bit blue. Yesterday it was my birthday, OK and my mother's was a month ago, right. OK, she gave me two cards, fair enough but even if she has never been able to buy anything big for me, she usually managed to buy something I would like or find useful to open on the day and I have always been very grateful for that fact. When I became incapacitated and unable to buy anything for her yet managed to give her a card and wished her a happy birthday? That did not happen either although she did ask if I had opened the two envelopes on the sideboard. I told I would be doing so now that I had brought her tea in. Mum had decided that to buy a new TV and that I would contribute a certain amount of money. That seemed to be agreeable to me although nothing in my wildest dreams did I expect her not to bother with mine despite the fact that as I slowly recovered, I got up and helped her with odd jobs etc, in fact when she was out shopping one day and I was at the height of my illness with convulsive shivering, I got up to feed the cat although I felt like hell at the time. You may think this is crazy but I feel I am being punished for what happened or it is related to the fc so she reckons I am undeserving for anything else even though I paid for it. I really thought this had all been resolved and she was turning over a new leaf. She told me how at the time I was so ill, she was so worried, well the rest is best left unsaid what is going on fully in my mind at present. I cannot imagine my father would have allowed this to happen after all that I had been through and still tried to do things to help her out. You may well be laughing at me when I say this but I thought, whatever Deity that is up there, had given her a dammed good bollicking in its own fashion
Comments
What to happen exactly? Not sure I can follow this at all and can't believe that dreaded filing cabinet farce is still on your mind.
At least the cat got fed.
Wish everyone would forget my birthday. Hate being reminded another year has passed.
The only person doing the punishing is you because you let it get to you. The weekend I have had has had me in tears more than once for one reason or another, but I got up today, put on my positive face and got on with it, stop dwelling over stuff that isn't important.
The art, the skill, the secret of The Law of Attraction is BEING GRATEFUL for everything you have, from the fact you are alive and have each day to live to what you ave in your life. You still have your mother. Mine died of cancer, she was unrecognisable at the end. Be grateful! You have a home, possessions, money, cat, mother! And, let your father go. Putting my spiritual hat on for a moment, you are clinging to him and he cannot progress, cannot do what he has to do in the Realms whilst you hang on by gripping his memory so tightly and dragging him into every posting when you complain about your mother. I could do that with my ex, but I don 't. I know how much he is responsible for and I don't hang on to the feelings, it isn't worth it.
For your own PEACE OF MIND, LET IT GO!
All of us who have lost parents or loved ones feel the same way but would they want it being a brake on our lives? If your dad could be back for one more minute would you want him to see you like this or full of joy and appreciating what you have, what he can no longer have?
[quote=Woll22]since he has gone, some of the fun has gone from those sort of anniversaries.[/quote]
Yes I'm sure it has and there is little you can do about it but look forward. Those good days and anniversaries didn't exist once, that's why the become anniversaries, days to remember when something began. So make some new ones. Enjoy life and make days that you want to celebrate again.
The other thing the Law of Attraction does is give you what you think and feel. Feel hard done by, you will be.
Feel positive, you will overcome it.
Ok now I really have to say something else, no-one can stop you from grieving, I think you are blaming your mother instead of dealing with your own issues. Come on Woll you are a mature woman, you can get above all this. I know I sound harsh but it's only because I don't want to see you waste your life and make yourself ill. Trust me it isn't just you that gets talked to like this, one of my best friends once called me to say goodbye, she had had enough and it was a last ditch call before she killed herself, tough love kept her my best mate.
I lost my dad at New Year, my mum is not herself and is in a home, I have no-one left other than hubby and the kids and trust me as much as me and my mother didn't get on, I miss how she was.
I'd be terribly upset if my mother didn't buy me a birthday present - but that's because I have a very special relationship with her.
Woll, these emotional wrangles occur too often. You have to either learn to deal with them or do something about it.
Posting on here may help purge your emotions initially, but it changes nothing.
Find a picture of a beautiful place, pin it up and when she gets to you, go away and look at it, visualise yourself there and it will all fall into perspective. You allow it to become huge when it is minor. That's proved by the length of your titles for your posts, sooooooooooooooooooooo long, which says you are making this a major, major thing in your life. The rest of us use short titles (as you should as a writer, BTW...) which reflects the difference. The birthday is gone, there is the rest of the year to live through, why brood on it? It has been years since I even got a home made card, a family tradition all our lives, but do I let it get to me? I do not. You even dragged in the fc story yet again, which says you are not, in any way, letting it go, are you?
OK, we can only say so much. The rest is up to you. But if you continue like this, you will be ill. For sure. You will waste hours, precious hours you can never get back, brooding on injustices as you see them when they are in fact no more than the pinpricks of life which we all have in different ways. We've all told you this before, you said, yes we are right, you will do something about it and here you are, same story, different title, same you, making yourself ill and depressed over - what? Be reasonable with yourself!
You want to present yourself to the world as a businesswoman running a research business, how can you do that when small things get you into this state? You need to be an example to others around you, you can't do that if you are constantly in a state over small things. Seriously, that is what you are doing, agonising over the small things. Heavens, what will you do if there are BIG things? Fold up and give up?
Are you not better and bigger than that, Woll?
Where are you posts on here about writing, about your business, about your ambitions? If you don't write about them you won't live them and they won't come true. How else did I get a series off the ground? By flat out working at it, believing in it, dreaming it. Two Mondays' time I will be giving a talk at a prestigious literary festival on my book. Now THAT is one good feeling, one that will take away any daily aggravation.
YOU could feel the same. All you need to do, is do it!
Take care ;)
Don't expect anything from anyone, then you'll always be happy.
Birthdays mean different things to different people.
You can't under-estimate how someone looks forward to hearing from a friend, knowing they've remembered. Or not.
Don't expect anything from anyone, then you'll always be happy. [/quote]
No you won't.
Everybody likes to be treated now and again, and who better but a best friend, or a loved on to provide that.
If you're able to shut people out like that, then you're not really happy, you're just managing to get by.
When they do send something, it is a lovely surprise. I'd never demand it of them.
I hope you'll post something about that. It sounds really interesting. How exciting!
And yes, I will be posting on there!
Just been asked (literally, 10 minutes ago) to talk to a writers' group on the Sunday too.
I get the impression you just wanted to share your anguish, get it off your chest so to speak.
From other posts you've made, I think you struggle with your relationship with your mum, don't you? It's hard, I know.
I really hope you can find a way to deal with the problems you see and those you feel.
(((((((((((Woll)))))))))))))
It's how the chocolate gingers'll end up that I'm worried about.
Get writing. Get working on your research company. Get busy with Life and then the other Life won't bother you so much.
Enjoy those chocolate ginger panties too -- sorry, getting confused here :)
Yay, sussed it!
Go out and enjoy life, celebrate for a whole birthday month (preferably wearing more than just your new black pressie).
Rosalie - I can't resist stationery either!