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Character Speech and Action.
I am just wondering if there is a right or wrong way to do this, as I have had the discussion with a friend who does it differently.
When a character speaks, then does something, I put it on the same line:
"I have had enough" Sarah stormed out of the room.
But my friend would put it on separate lines like:
"I have had enough."
Sarah stormed out of the room.
Who is right? Or are we both right?
Comments
Although I have seen it done both ways, I think on the same line flows better.
I said that had she put an action afterwards, on the same line, it would have been clear who was talking at that moment in time.
``I am sick of Mr. Bingley,'' cried his wife.
``I am sorry to hear that; but why did not you tell me so before? If I had known as much this morning, I certainly would not have called on him. It is very unlucky; but as I have actually paid the visit, we cannot escape the acquaintance now.''
The astonishment of the ladies was just what he wished; that of Mrs. Bennet perhaps surpassing the rest; though when the first tumult of joy was over, she began to declare that it was what she had expected all the while.
``How good it was in you, my dear Mr. Bennet! But I knew I should persuade you at last. I was sure you loved our girls too well to neglect such an acquaintance. Well, how pleased I am! and it is such a good joke, too, that you should have gone this morning, and never said a word about it till now.''
"I have had enough." Sarah stormed out of the room.
If this line is broken and the action is put on a seperate line then you break the flow, the pace is interrupted and the sentence structure is weakened. A book like that would be unreadable.
The excerpt I pasted may have to stand alone in its own paragraph for another reason: it refers to two different characters, beginning by 'narrating' the position of Mr Bennet following his speech, but going on to 'narrate' the position of his wife prior to her speech. So whose speech could it be connected with? Answer: neither.
PM is right, the Austen piece is not.
Phot's Moll said:
'It should be on the same line - or in the same paragraph if long sentences mean it goes over one line. If the character speak, then acts, then speaks, then acts it would all be the same paragraph until someone else spoke or did something.'
I totally agree.