Welcome to Writers Talkback. If you are a new user, your account will have to be approved manually to prevent spam. Please bear with us in the meantime
I've been editing a book all day, my brain's tired and my eyes are drooping.
I've just come across the following phrase and I feel there's something wrong with it.
What do you think? I can't think straight!
'He was sure he wouldn’t sleep tonight, he thought'
Comments
He's making a statement of fact 'he was sure he wouldn't sleep tonight.'
Yes, you're right, PM!
'He was sure he wouldn’t sleep tonight, he thought, as he climbed into his bed and switched off the lamp.'
As he climbed into his bed and switched off the lamp he was sure he wouldn't sleep tonight.
With no expectation of sleep, he climbed into bed and switched off the lamp.
Now it's time you did the same, TN, and you will sleep because we've solved your dilemma for you!
Night night.
I'll go back to it today and look again with fresh eyes.
:-B
Thank you!
It just looks a bit odd when followed by a comma: e.g. 'O.K.,' she said.
Otherwise you'll end up with boOK.