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Fifty Shades of Grey - Have we discussed this and I missed it ?

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  • [quote=Red]The men in my office are trying to buy it on Amazon under the premise it's for the 'wife'...LMAO![/quote]

    There's nothing to say to that except "Holy Crap !"
  • [quote=lexia]There's nothing to say to that except "Holy Crap !" [/quote]

    Weird, but when I read that I find myself thinking of the Batman & Robin TV series. 'Holy crap Batman!' Biff. Kapowww!

    Holy crap indeed.
  • Yes, I thought of Batman and Robin too. I used to be a fan of that series.
  • Look at how much a week the author is making! £862,069

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2166022/Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-author-EL-James-making-1m-EVERY-WEEK.html
  • Yes, Batman and Robin springs to mind instantly when I hear that.
  • 1m a week! Holy molies, Batman!
  • [quote=kateyanne]Look at how much a week the author is making! £862,069[/quote]

    Somehow, I am reminded of something my dad once said to me when I was a teenager. We were talking about the state of the world and how there are people out to make a fast buck, so to speak. He said, "I'll tell you something. There will come a time when people will make millions out of nothing but horse muck, and there won't be a thing you or I can do about it."
  • Even if she is making that much, which seems like a suspect figure, that's a lot of cash back in taxes so all good. That's if she's a decent person and not some horrible tax cheat like most rich people.
  • That's a very good point ST. And yes I suspect that it's an inflated figure.

    I've read a couple of excerpts from Fifty Shades out of curiousity given all the hype and there is no way I could bring myself to read it. Seriously all the Holy craps and Inner Goddess stuff would drive me mad!!
  • And it's £2.69 on Amazon, not £6 something as they say in the article. So half that earnings estimate.
  • Yes, but if you want to buy the trilogy it's near enough a tenner and I think that's too expensive for ebooks.
  • [quote=LadyRenate]I'm trying to convince my boyfriend to let me tie him up but he's having none of it.[/quote]

    Pfft, he doesn't know what he's missing...I mean *cough* quite right, none of that 'fancy' stuff goes on in MY bedroom!
  • I once had a girlfriend who said she was going to tie me to the bed and really get me worked up. It worked. As she did the last knot she took my wallet and buggered off for a night out with her mates!
  • [quote=bored_robots]LadyRenate wrote: I'm trying to convince my boyfriend to let me tie him up but he's having none of it.[/quote]



    Do you think possibly it's the noose around his neck that's making him nervous about it or wobbly chair underfoot?
  • You mean that isn't how it's normally done, Dora??
  • This pic has just turned up on Facebook today. For the Doctor Who fans among us.

    http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg164/JohntheVic/CaptureCybershades.jpg
  • Just received an email from Waterstones, inviting me to download the FSOG trilogy for £17.49. Seems a lot compared with the prices quoted earlier. Not for me though, not my sort of reading.
  • pbwpbw
    edited July 2012
    HOW much?

    Crumbs!

    I mean HOW much?

    Seems an awful lot when you can borrow it from the library.

    I'm waiting for my delivery of The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A. N Roquelaure (aka Anne Rice) which I KNOW will be a real knee-trembler, so I wouldn't spend £17.50 on a paperless copy of Fifty Shades of Grey Socks at the moment.
  • Was in Waterstone's earlier. Very excited woman asked if they had the first part. No - we've sold out twice this week, expecting more in said the assistant. We have part three...
  • Did anyone read the review in The Saturday Mail yesterday? Can't remember who wrote it, sorry, but it was a double page spread. I tried to find it in the Mail Online to post here but I couldn't. It is a very funny read.
  • I read it. I thought it summed it up nicely.
  • [quote=paperbackwriter] so I wouldn't spend £17.50 on a paperless copy of Fifty Shades of Grey Socks at the moment. [/quote]

    £8.99 at Amazon. Waterstones are taking the mick, aren't they?
  • I read it and found it amusing - I havent read the book but almost everyone at work is talking about it/hunting round Waterstones/Tescos/WH smith every lunchtime to get the first/second/third book! I flicked through a couple of pages and wasnt impressed!
  • edited July 2012
    Join the unimpressed club, ttofee. :)
    I'm already a member...
  • Extract from Shades of Yorkshire Grey, also doing the rounds on Facebook

    "Lets face it girls, this is the closest any of your lives have come to ''50 shades'' !

    50 shades of Chav. "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."

    Another extract from my 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."

    More from raunchy Chav fest 13 flavours of WKD. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he
    lay on top of me. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of am orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"

    There's more but it may not be suitable for TB
    Shall whisper it to any one who wants more ... ;)
  • Hilarious, lexia! :D
  • Love it Lexia! So funny - and would so like to hear more :D
  • :P
    That's funny.
  • That is really funny, Lexia.

    I'm half way through the book now and oh my! what rubbish.
  • Oh god, lexia, you really brightened up my Monday morning. Thanks for those.
  • The variations remind me of a Ken Dodd joke I've always loved:

    "I'll never get over you - so you'll have to get up and make your own tea."
  • On the last book now. Holy crap, I'm enjoying it! Not sure if I'll read erotica again, but it's been interesting to try out a different genre. I admire those brave enough to write it...

    If you look at the listings on Kindle under 'Fifty Shades' there are so many parodies now - everyone wants a bit of that goldmine!

    What worries me is the effect all this may have on Jasper Fforde's work of genuis, 'Shades of Grey'. I always thought it was a weak title for him; perhaps he'll change it in view of the associations it will now bring.
  • I read the Jasper Fforde one. It is brilliant. I'm sure the association could only help to raise the profile of that book. The 'mummy porn' fans, realising their mistake, will hand the Fforde on to their YA children.
  • That's true. I can't wait until the next book - I think it will be out very soon. It's probably the most intriguiging, baffling and creative book I've ever read! (That's the Jasper Fforde one, obviously!)
  • edited July 2012
    Had to add this to the discussion.

    Don't click (Amazon Mother's Day Commercial) if you're feeling prudish!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK8Lr_HL3eY&feature=youtube_gdata_player
  • Have taken out the swear words, so think this should be ok for here without whispering ;)

    More extracts from the final book of the trilogy - My Tan was 11 Shades of Orange.
    "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."

    More from the book - 12 Shades of my Fake Tan. "My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had messes his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from Farm Foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my A-hole. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces.
    As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections."

    Final extract from -12 Shades of my Fake Tan. "I had a week to myself, bliss. The kids were all at their respective dads apart from Shakira whose dad was on remand.
    Luckily her Grandma was home as this time last year she was in Malia on an 18-30. Dwayne wanted me to be a Dominatrix but I couldn't get the gear as the new security guard at Ann Summers was a right git. I had to improvise.
    I put on my fave black slag wellies and wrapped bin bags around my muffin tops. For the mask I pulled my old black period pants over my head. I looked like gothic Vanessa Feltz attempting a bank job. Dwayne looked well chuffed as he had scored some Viagra off his dealer. I climbed on top but the idiot was asleep. He had bought diazepam my mistake. I tried to get him inside me but it was like trying to push toothpaste back into the tube. Having to use the kids buzz light-year, wasn't my finest hour."
  • Lexia, those are h i l a r i o u s. :D

    More please.
  • This laugh of a book is about £2.90 on Kindle, yet when I want to download books by a few of my favourite authors (Emily Barr and Helen Simpson at the moment) I have to pay £7. Says it all?
  • Lexia, these are brilliant!
  • edited July 2012
    [quote= Dudess]yet when I want to download books by a few of my favourite authors (Emily Barr and Helen Simpson at the moment) I have to pay £7[/quote]

    If they are with any of the big six publishers, it will be due to agency pricing- the issue is not totally sorted yet.
  • A group of my friends on facebook are talking about this now, and have dubbed it "50 Shades of Filth."
  • edited July 2012
    If you liked '50 Shades' Amazon may suggest this book.

    http://www.amazon.com/So-You-Got-Fat-Pussy/dp/0880320230

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51IPltCsZSL._SL500_.jpg
  • You can find a review series for this book here: http://bizzybiz.blogspot.ie/

    I can honestly say it's the funniest review I have ever read.
  • Just finished the trilogy - it was a fun read, nothing demanding but I really enjoyed the storyline. There was too much rumpy-pumpy for me but that's the first time I've read erotica. If you haven't read erotica before you may be shocked, but having done a bit of research on what else is out there (see suggestions on blog extract above for books with stronger content) I suspect it is quite mild. I'll now go back to my usual book diet, but I'm glad I made the detour.
  • That is one of the funniest blogs I've come across. Thanks for that jenni1607.

    Not the first time I've heard 'The Story of O' quoted as the best of the whole genre.

    Also heard on the radio this morning (Nine O'Clock Live - is it?) they were discussing 50 Shades of Boredom and one interview said she thought it was more a 'sex aid' to revive marriages from 'bedroom death', rather than erotica, and I guess, viewed in that light, it makes more sense.
  • I didn't really enjoy the story of O.
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